Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My H claims his affair was emotional and this woman started it by kissing him. I know this woman has been after him for years. H and I helped her and her kid out when she was homeless. Her son lived with us for a couple of months. All along tho she was telling ppl that she wanted H. She really never talked to me much and usually avoided me if she could and still does (if she is smart she will continue to do so :) anyway she was beaten by her last husband to the point of being hospitalized. Her H and my H know each other and grew up together. Her now XH hates my H with a passion now. I feel sure she threw my H name in his face too many times when they were drinking. Anyway after all that and her H went to jail my H thought he should check on her and her boy and this is when the affair started. She played him with her woe is me tactic like she had tried many times before but this time it worked because my H felt guilty for hooking her up with the man who beat her. I feel no pity for her as she has broken up several marriages and I am not sure ours will survive. My H claims it was touching and kissing and that it didn't last long but I know she has been after him for 4 years, ever since her son stayed here. I am perplexed as to how it was just emotional and didn't go further with the touching and kissing. I don't see how it could not have gotten physical. Anyway, is there such thing as an emotional affair? It is cheating regardless but I am just trying to think this through. Any thoughts on this?
She needs a good boot in the ass outta your marriage.
L~
He's just calling it an EA to minimize it- I'd say to him, "Keep telling yourself that- just b/c you didn't have sex..." It's an affair. AND it did get physical.
This woman is a train wreck. I think your husband's to blame, too, but I really think that this is also a symptom of something missing in your marriage. It's almost as if this woman is poison/cancer and she spreads her disease everywhere she goes. Just look at her track record. Pity her son...
Anyway, I'm not trying to absolve your husband, but if you and he had ANY issues before this woman, his resistance was low and her virus was strong.
Do you think you want to save your marriage?
There is no difference between an emotional and s physical affair in marriage the vows are that all sharing of each self is only, is exclusively with the other
Are emotional affairs possible?
Yes
Are the people in them self centered cheating pieces of shit ?
Yes
can thoughts pop into your head outside of your control? somewhat. but at that instant, you can make a choice to exit the situation, avoid it, move on. but if you feed into it, entertain those thoughts, keep going around that person, keep emailing, texting, talking, engaging your emotions with that person, that is an emotional affair. you are in control of what you continue to feed your mind/emotions as much as you are in control of where you physically place your body parts.
There are some people who firmly believe there has to be physical contact for it to be an affair. There are some who feel emotional detachment to one's spouse, and then telling "secrets" to the OW or OW is an affair, or there's people who consider someone who masturbates to porn to be cheating.
It all depends on how the people see it.
In my opinion, yes, there is definitely an emotional affair. When a spouse hides/lies about things, and KNOWS their wife or husband would be upset if they found out, then that indicates what they are doing isn't ok.
And I wish you had phrased "where you put your private parts is your choice" it implies that I was the cheater
And I was not it was my wife
I think that a persons inner most vulnerability as a private if not even more so than the family jewels as it were
In truth, all affairs are emotional. They are certainly not rational. Rather they meet some emotional need in the cheaters. Even a one-night-stand does that.
But frequently the term refers to two types of affairs. One, when the CS feels an emotional-intimate connection with the AP, usually identified as love (usually incorrectly, it is lust/infatuation). Two, when an affair primarily involves intimate, non-physical interactions, especially those that don't involve any sexual intimacy.
Did your H have an emotional affair? At least. This does not mean, however, that he didn't have sex with her. Obviously he had opportunity. There is no way for you to know he didn't. His words at this point can't be trusted. It was physical enough with kisses and touching.
In the end, he had an affair. Men in general tend to look at sexual contact as the biggy, and other stuff not as bad. Which may be why he's emphasizing the emotional aspect. Even if you consider an emotional affair as not as bad as a physical one, you can't know a physical one didn't happen. So in that sense, for you, he's guilty of the full shebang.
One way to find out is to get tested for STDs. If you don't have any, it doesn't mean he didn't, but if you do and you know it could only come from him, that pretty much nails the coffin shut. Bad news for you though on both accounts. But at least you'd know.