Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
When my wife cheated, she took away my sense of safety at my home, I lock doors more than I did before. She took the innocence of my children, they talk about other "friends" and houses as if it were ok. She took my want to out of so many things I used to like to do, what used to bring me happiness and refuge I still want to do, but my motivation is gone. She took my manhood, I don't enjoy the moment of sex, to many thoughts of not being good enough + thoughts of her with him get in my head, I have climaxed 1 out of 5 times in the past 2 years with her or with anyone else (we were apart a year) since the affair. She took a lot of my feelings, I am numb and distant with people I should feel the closest to. She took my heart, and stomped it, and laughed at the wreckage I feel sometimes. She took promises I made and made light of them. She took some life from me, I am older by much more than two years over that amount of time. What did they take from you?
He took 14 years. I don't want to let him take anymore, yet I cant find myself to take that step to end it and not hurt anymore.
He took my health, time, heart, trust, peace...
The list goes on and on...
I seem to still have is hope and love, which makes thing so much harder, with out hope he will get help and love for him, I would be so moving on.
Once the blinders were off, I was able to clearly see that I had been living in an illusion and it was I who chose NOT to see the marriage as it really was. He was a commitment-phobe and a narcissistic manipulator. I was his unwitting victim.
Soon I began to see who I was and to rediscover my Authentic Self!
I gained a whole new level of self-esteem!
I acquired a laundry list of new skills and a huge sense of personal accomplshment!
I learned how to speak from my heart again and to set healthy BOUNDARIES in all my relationships.
I renewed my faith in God and in myself!
I REFUSED to let his actions define WHO I AM!
With a strong resolve, I marched through the 18 Months of Hell it took to divorce him and have never looked back.
Just because this one person betrayed me, doesn't mean that everyone is out to get me. My faith in people was unchanged.
Today -- more than 5 years after the Day of Devastation and nearly 4 years post final divorce -- my life is so much more peaceful, my relationships so much more meaningful than they EVER were in my marriage.
It takes a lot of hard work on yourself to pick up the pieces, dust yourself off and put yourself back together again, but IT CAN BE DONE!
I can remember those years where he was my knight in shining armor, the man who loved me, my partner in life. He had flaws, as we all do, and I didn't put him on a pedestal or anything like that. But he was the person I could trust above all others and the person who would never tear me apart. We were a team, a couple, and a family. I was so proud of him and the man he was and as so many women around me were getting caught up with the wrong kind of guy, I had one of the good ones and it felt great. It was empowering for me to know that I took my time to find a good guy and didn't rush in like so many of my friends.
The foundation of our family was our commitment to each other. There were plenty of things coming at us in life that were uncertain, but If there was one thing I was certain of it was us and as long as that was the case then we could handle everything else.
Now I know that he is one of "those guys" and I question everything that ever was about us and it is just heartbreaking. There is no security in our marriage anymore, the memories are tainted, and I am forever changed.
He really took everything from me. If it was not the whole of something, it was at least a piece of it and there is not one part of me that is complete anymore.
I have the added boost of having been betrayed not just by my H, but by a friend too. My kids have asked me why I don't have any friends anymore and I just have to tell them that I just don't want them. The last person I befriended had an affair with my husband.
I am just simply broken and even if all of the pieces are put back together, there will still be those cracks that I will always know are there.