That's a tough one have you talked to your wife about how she feels about satisfying yourself. Not sure about your thoughts or her thoughts about this subject since she no longer is interested. This is a hard post to answer.

She could be going through many things in her life and body that have nothing to do with you. Women's hormones just change as they get older. Has she had any other physical limitations in the last 2 years? Has she been depressed or gone through anything stressful? She is not rejecting you on purpose. I see you posting this on the "Infidelity" board and I would hope that you would talk to your wife before ever thinking about cheating on her.

Ask her what she wants. You sound dissatisfied, but she is, too. There are other ways to be intimate, hugging, kissing, massages. Be creative!

Cheating on her is NOT the answer. She is frustrated too. Work with her to come up with things to do that you BOTH like. She will be much more receptive to you if you are kind, loving, romantic. Be kind and patient and do loving gestures for her. She will be much more wanting to do something sexual with you if you are not being forceful or mean or demanding about it.

Women get turned on starting in her brain. Say kind and loving words to her. Do not be mean, forceful or demanding at all. Do nice things for her. Help her with housework. Bring her flowers. Take her out to a nice dinner. Romance her.

Thanks for the replies. However, it must be said that we have talked many hours about this. She is adamant that she wants no sex and no intimacy. I have accepted that. We still love each other deeply and have a great relationship. We travel well together and deeply care about each other. But I am sexually unsatisfied. It appears that the only things I can do are porno, which I loathe, and masturbation. I would not even consider cheating. That leads to pain and nothing good..

Thank you for not considering cheating on her.

Has she said if something changed with her or happened with her, 2 years ago?

I still say you don't give up. Women "say" things, but we often mean something else. That we *would* want sex and intimacy, if this, this, and this were different.

Obviously one course is to talk with her and try to understand the issues. However, her just cutting you off is not a valid alternative any more than you're saying, I realize I like other people and will be going out with this 32 year old lady I met at work.

Consider waiting for something she likes, perhaps a dinner, and then before you're about to go, then say, sorry, I'm not in the mood to go. I need you to respect my wishes. She will probably be mad, but this may start a discussion about what's really bothering her.