Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

I'd like to first say- I'm Sorry, though i know this does not make up for anything... i had an affair for a year with a married man- who i fell madly in love with.... of course that saying comes to mind- when u play with fire- ur gonna get burned- i look at my ashes in the mirror everyday- and i see a horrible person- who did a horrible thing and regrets every minute/ every second of this... though i would like to also say- other women- most of us- don't plan on being other women- we don't go out looking for married men- if they aren't wearing a ring/ they represent themselves as single/ call 24-7 and appear to have nobody else at home- we just can't read minds and know they are married.... the only way i found out was when his wife called me and told me who she was - we cried together- we hugged each other- she told me to love him and i told her i couldn't cause he loves her... and so i did the only thing i could do- i set him free- not cause i wanted to- but cause i had to ... my heart hurts in this- and i'm a human being too. and i'm tired of being treated like an animal - do u not think i beat myself up for this everyday? do u know that i don't forgive me- i don't want u to forgive me and i don't ask god to accept this or forgive me- i'm not coldhearted, i cry for the pain that i've caused and i pay for it daily- i will not open my heart up and love anyone ever again- cause i'm afraid of trusting anyone who says they are single... i have to replay that song "Stay" by Sugarland everyday- only its my life for the past year! and it blows! i have decided to stay lonely and alone- cause i can't face hurting anyone else- and if u are hurting and want to beat someone verbally- please let it be me.... just so u can bash me personally my name is Brandi... and yes i am the biggest idiot and i'm stupid and a fool- the biggest fool.....since i'm nobody and my heart is not real and i have no feelings then when u judge me- it shouldn't hurt anyways-- so go ahead.... just thought i would share how it feels from this side.... if u don't want me on this board please just let me know in a private message and i'll delete my membership... thank u in advance for ur time and attention to this and no matter what u say to me- big hugs and much luv to you all and i'm sorry if any of you are going through the pain of being cheated on.. its not right and nobody should ever feel this pain from any side of this situation.....

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

sorry anyone is going through this on any side of it- its not worth the pain and suffering i wish i could take mine back- but since i can't- i just plan to live alone forever and u know its my choice and i'll have to make peace with it somehow- i can't face hurting a person ever again and my trust is not ever gonna return - i can't even look men in the eye in public anymore without thinking what are u lying about .....

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

yes in fact i did go to his house- she moved out and i moved in- then i helped her move back in and she helped me move out- and we hugged and cried and she kept telling me not to be nervous- and i kept thinking- why is this woman not swinging her fist at me and cussing.... she even did the strangest thing - she asked if i wanted to stay the night- of course i declined and then i was on my way- i felt like- how can my heart feel such joy for them when it is shattered in a million peices on the floor for me... yeah my situation is crazy .... and i think its the most awkward thing i've ever gone through in my life... i will never repeat this and so i'll get a dog for companionship and be ok... eventually...

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

u don't get it- neither me or his wife stopped this- we both let him go back and forth for a year and each time we would call each other and promise to not let him do this to us- that we were better than this- and yet it went on and on- and i had to end this- not cause i wanted to- cause i was madly in love and love him to this day- but this couldn't go on- so to ensure that he would never call me again- i cussed him and told him that i really resented being used and i felt like a peice of garbage and then he has the nerve to say- thanks for being my friend and always there for me when i needed you- how could he?! my belief in happiness has been shattered and if this is what marriage is like- i don't want to ever expierence that!

deleted_user 04/21/2008

My stbx cheated with my former friend. They both broke up their marriages to be together. She has never shown any remorse. I think that if she had, maybe I would have an easier time forgiving her. She tore through my life like a tornado and continues to do so, trying to turn my children against me. From what I read of your post, you are NOTHING like her. You got caught in a messed up situation and sometimes it's harder to get out of it than anyone realizes.

I hope that you do stick around here and, in time, come to realize that just like so many of us here, you were played. Of course your heart is broken. Of course you have feelings. The fact that you are remorseful of what happened actually speaks volumes about you. So many people don't seem to care about the others that get hurt in situations like this. My heart goes out to you.

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

i was so scared to join this group - because of my past expierence in breakups and divorce- i was bashed pretty badly on there for telling the truth and blamed for the end of all marriages and affairs and so i felt really bad and i hope that i haven't caused any pain by bringing this up in my post - cause that was not my intention - i just wanted u all to know that not all of us are selfish/ hateful and coldhearted and we don't intend on going after married men.... i have only opened up my heart twice in my life- first time- i had the love of my life for 3 years and then i lost him to a heart attack... so when i finally open up again- this is what i got caught up in and i cry everynight- i can't sleep, i stopped eating today- i just can't face me anymore- i can't...... i feel very betrayed , lost , and alone, and stupid for this......

deleted_user 04/21/2008

It takes a lot of courage to admit to your mistakes and do the right thing. You are not a horrible person. You are a person who made a horrible mistake and now it's time for you to puck up the peices and forgive yourself. I have been in your shoes and I have also been cheated on. Everything happenes for a reason and you just have to stop hating yoursel because its not fair to you. You have to take care of you and put those feelings of guilt/pain/remorse etc away and start over, fresh.

Love
m

deleted_user 04/21/2008

somewhere out there in the world, there is a guy waiting to meet you, who will love you for the person you are and you wont have to worry that he isnt trustworthy

Best wishes

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

never happen - there is no man out there for plain ole Brandi - as my ex told me- i am the personality- but men want looks and personality and for that- i just can't cut it and so i feel unloveable........

deleted_user 04/21/2008

Brandi,

You are most definately NOT like the ow in most situations. YOU care YOU have feelings and this asshole hurt not only you but his wife. I am proud of you that even though you had feelings for him, that you stopped the relationship.

My H`s slut is married and knew he was married. The first time I found out she didn`t but all the other times she was with him she did. She would call me and brag everytime she was with him. She still to this day has no remorse for the pain she has caused me. SHE not you deserves anger and hatred and if I could give her half the pain she gave me without being arrested I would do so.

That being said i`m going to send you a message to this site that I read at sometimes. Its for ow who knowingly and selfishly sleep with married men and show no remorse. I am only showing this to you so YOU can see that YOU are no way like them. YOU have feelings and YOU are hurting and YOU are entitled to as YOU were an unwilling victim in this like his wife was. Take Care of YOU

RockNMetalChic 04/21/2008

i'm not a victim- i'm a idiot- plain and simple idiot- i lost everything i had - its all in a friends storage which i don't know how much longer they will have it and there goes my stuff... i have no money, no car, and though i have a roof over my head its only because my sis wanted a free babysitter so i am reminded everyday that i am stayin in her house and its not mine- i have nothing and all because i followed this man and my heart and so i am a stupid person who was strung along by nice gifts and pretty words and promises..... i was even homeless for 3 weeks last fall during this- got taken in by a friends cousin and he beat me for not sleeping with him.... thats when i was a victim - in that situation - cause i was there and i put up with it- but a victim in this- nope- more like guilty party.... i will not place all the blame on him- for i slept with him and so this is on me...

deleted_user 04/21/2008

you need to stop blaming urself! U did the right thing when it came down to it! You walked away my h other woman came to my house we talked and cried together smoked a few fags and waited for him together! He didnt know wot hit hm wen he came in from work! At least you walked away his ow didnt even though we talked and cried together she still went back for more! So plz dont be 2 hard on urself have pride that u walked away as soon as you found out! x

somefool 04/21/2008

Brandi, I don't feel any bashing is necessary. I in the past have learned that many of these married men are very convincing. They can make you believe what they want. Also from the side of the victim they conveince us that they are faithful. One thing I have learned it TRUST BUT VERIFY.
Best wishes in your recovery.

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