Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Got this from the Web. Makes sense.
Relationships that start off in deception usually end in deception. When a woman gets involved with a married man, she turns a blind eye to the fact that he is a cheater and an unreliable partner.
She sees only what she wants to see and believes only what she wants to believe. She acknowledges the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her, but refuses to see that she too is a victim of his selfish behavior- choosing to make herself his victim.
Men rarely leave their wives and family for their mistresses, which means that they string their mistresses along, having them believe that one day they will both be together with no more hiding around. Mistresses hang on to this fantasy, believing that their married lover truly loves them and will eventually be with them and this begins a long journey of emotional pain, emptiness and endless waiting.
There are of course cases when a married man will actually leave his wife to be with his mistress, this has been known to happen, but it is rare. Plus, if it does happen, the relationship usually does not last, even if man and mistress go as far as getting married. This is because when the relationship started, it was not planted on solid, honest ground.
Instead, the seed of the relationship was planted on unstable ground, fertilized with secrets and lies- regardless of whom the secrets were being kept from and whom the lies were being told to. Secrets and lies disallow people from being their true selves- a part of you has to be put on hold due to the man-mistress circumstance. If the man and his mistress do end up together and get married, they eventually have troubles with trust, because of the way they got together.
They both know that they are capable of cheating and going along with cheating and while they may actually love each other- all the facts defining their relationship has the greater influence, whether they want to acknowledge it or not..
Just thought I'd share. It's been a while since I've been on. Stay strong guys!
Relationships that start off in deception usually end in deception. When a woman gets involved with a married man, she turns a blind eye to the fact that he is a cheater and an unreliable partner.
She sees only what she wants to see and believes only what she wants to believe. She acknowledges the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her, but refuses to see that she too is a victim of his selfish behavior- choosing to make herself his victim.
Men rarely leave their wives and family for their mistresses, which means that they string their mistresses along, having them believe that one day they will both be together with no more hiding around. Mistresses hang on to this fantasy, believing that their married lover truly loves them and will eventually be with them and this begins a long journey of emotional pain, emptiness and endless waiting.
There are of course cases when a married man will actually leave his wife to be with his mistress, this has been known to happen, but it is rare. Plus, if it does happen, the relationship usually does not last, even if man and mistress go as far as getting married. This is because when the relationship started, it was not planted on solid, honest ground.
Instead, the seed of the relationship was planted on unstable ground, fertilized with secrets and lies- regardless of whom the secrets were being kept from and whom the lies were being told to. Secrets and lies disallow people from being their true selves- a part of you has to be put on hold due to the man-mistress circumstance. If the man and his mistress do end up together and get married, they eventually have troubles with trust, because of the way they got together.
They both know that they are capable of cheating and going along with cheating and while they may actually love each other- all the facts defining their relationship has the greater influence, whether they want to acknowledge it or not..
Just thought I'd share. It's been a while since I've been on. Stay strong guys!
I have a problem with identifying her as a victim and placing all of the blame on one of the cheating parties. If the OW knows the man is married and chooses to pursue a relationship with him, she is selfish, not his victim.
They are BOTH selfish.
The man may be a manipulative dick and she may be a vulnerable waif full of pain, but a victim? No. If she knows he is married, she is not a victim but a willing participant. She is no damsel in distress lured by the bad man with the black hat and mustache. She is knowingly contributing to victimizing another woman and family (children, relatives, friends).
I am sure that there is pain all around left in the wake of these s*** storms, but this phrasing sticks in my craw. It shifts the blame instead of owning it. Grrrr.
Hell, they have to live with thier own lies.
I know...it may be how it goes, but it's still bullshit, right?
Trinity, I am sure the OW in your deal is still playing the victim in her head. STILL.
Like this...'Nobody cares about ME and that I was SO unhappy and that I had every right to do what I did because this is all about me? Don't they all understand/????'
Nope, we don't.
Great to see you, Hmph and thanks for posting this!
You still rock! L~
'Denial is not just a river in Egypt...'
L~
Ummm ... if you are an adult and willingly get involved with a married man then you are not a victim. You choose the action and have to live with the consequences. Heck - if you choose to get involved with a dishonest man - period - then you can't consider yourself a victim when he proves to be unreliable. That falls under the * BIG RED FLAG * column if you ask me. Ignore at your own risk.
That little boy who escaped after his mother drove the van into the river in NY--he's a victim.
I do agree with the things that were said about when the betrayers leave and go at their own relationship or marriage.
"the seed of the relationship was planted on unstable ground, fertilized with secrets and lies- regardless of whom the secrets were being kept from and whom the lies were being told to. Secrets and lies disallow people from being their true selves- a part of you has to be put on hold due to the man-mistress circumstance"
I think this is right on in most all cases---