Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I am still so angry with my wife most of the time that I think my head may explode . To be quite honest if I hear 1 more time how hard this is on her or how she is mad as well I may just end up in a rubber room. My W is going to personal counciling and well it is very tormentfull at this point with the many many yet unresloved issues in her past. Her councilor doesnt think marriage counciling is a good idea until they get some things worked on for her. While I agree that she needs to tackle some issues inside I also beileve that by us not going to counciling I must sit back and wait to truelly tackle the problems in our marriage. I am so frustrated with all the things I must endure and that have and are being done to me against my will that I truelly beileve that to try and work through this may be the hardest thing I will ever do. Whenever I have done something to hurt my W I.E. gotten angry and said things I knew would be hurtfull and that kinda stuff , I have always had such guilt afterwords that I went out of my way to make her understand that I was sorry and that I truelly loved her and wanted to make it up to her. My wife now does nothing of the such. She comes home from work and mopes around the house and when I plan a special day for us she finds excuses not to go . Just over a month ago I found out about the affair and in that time I have seen very little effort to improve our marriage and find that we are right back where we were prior to finding out. At least if we dont make it I will know that I have tried to find a marriage inside all the hurt and anger. I know that this is more a ramble than a post but I think I just needed to write down my thoughts . I find that when I get these thoughts out and not keep them in I tend to be more stable. I know that just spewing your thoughts is something you do with your best friend but unfortunately my wife was my best friend and well I cant really talk to her about this stuff as I would be bringing it up again and that isnt helpfull . As she has told me. Personally when you cheat you should have to have it brought up to you at least 20 times a minute until you can truelly understand what it is that we have to go thru. I know I love my wife I truellly hope that we can make it work but I am afraid that in the end we will find out that we dont really have much to try and save.
Your not foolish for writing down your thoughts. I love to write in so many ways whether it's sorting problems or just talking to myself. Hope you can sort things out that is best for you both. Good luck!
Do you want to keep her around so you can provide detailed accounts of her offenses?
Generosity of spirit is hard to come by. Maybe you could focus for a while on what made you fall in love with this woman in the first place, and remind her of that 20 times a minute.
Or not.
Venting here is good, by the way.
One thing to remember; if both people aren't working on the marriage, you may be fighting for the wrong thing.
Take care and good luck!
I agree with the others that they will never understand, just like we can never understand why they did what they did; we didn't make that journey and, despite them seeing our pain every day, they're not taking our journey.
I've been reading a lot of books to help me but one that helped her to understand is "After the Affair." It reads like a transcript of my life. If you can get her to give it a read with a compassionate heart she may gain a little understanding and, more importantly, realize that your feelings are universal; common to all of us who have been hurt this way. It made my W understand, at least, that it's not just me.