Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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cbazan 03/30/2011

So I have discovered that I have been currently dealing with a STRANGER for the last 2 years. I would say that the last 2 years WERE A COMPLETE lie and a waste of my precious time and love. BUT I DID GET A BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL little boy out of it. So I guess it's not a COMPLETE WASTE. So the last episode of "AS THE HOE-BAGS CHEATS", I told you guys how bold he was. I've also found out that he has told several people that I BEGGED HIM TO GET ME PREGNANT...REALLY...AT 40 years old? This person is a completely SLIMY SCUMBAG MANIPULATOR!!! He NOT ONLY BEGGED ME TO HAVE HIS CHILD, but first he confiscated all the condoms and threw them in the trash, Then he would SNEAK and empty my contraceptive foam bottle. I got more condoms and he literally went into my bag grabbed them and the scissors, came and sat next to me on the bed one day, and cut them into shreds while I sat and watched. He told me he wanted a baby and we were getting married. I bought a few more bottles of foam but they would either disappear or bottles would be empty when I knew they were newly purchased. So I gave up fighting him on it and I had been wanting to have another child in my previous relationship. So I ended up pregnant. I was so caught up in THINKING he really loved me that I paid no never mind to the fact that I had become distant with family & friends, WHY? Cause HE TOOK UP ALL MY TIME. We went and did EVERYTHING TOGETHER. We had one cellphone between the two of us, we were together constantly. He began becoming jealous of ANY MALE friends of mine. He didn't want any MEN speaking to me. I own a small boutique so I have couples that come in all the time. He would get mad the minute the male would ask a question or say hello. I didn't notice then but NOW I SEE..he was ISOLATING ME FROM EVERYONE.....WHILE HE OBTAINED AND MAINTAINED NEW FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. HE IS A FULL BLOWN MANIPULATING NARCISSIST......LOVE IS BLIND AND I DIDN'T SEE IT THEN....NOW THAT I REMOVED HIM FROM MY LIFE....I CAN SEE AND THINK CLEARLY.....

deleted_user 03/30/2011

High five! Mine offered to reverse his vasectomy to get her pregnant (when her husband and boyfriend couldn't, or didn't). He offered the same to me when we first started our relationship, so apparently he has an M.O. Fortunately, I prefer cats! A lot of what you have said is prying my eyes open (isolation and manipulation and so forth). I have some big decisions to make.

directingpond 03/30/2011

Oh yeah, I know all about the manipulation...*shudder*
There is another support group for narcissistic survivors if you are interested. Some say that labels don't matter, and that's true to a point- he treated you like crap, isolated and abused you, that may be all you need to know. But if you need to see what could be coming from a person with the disorder, it's good to know some of the commonalities.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/narcissist-victims-syndrome-survivors

deleted_user 03/30/2011

Thanks for the link. I don't think I can handle another group that revolves around his possible disfunction(s) and their effect on me! I have to start turning this around and rebuild me or I will lose myself completely (if it's not too late). Is there a support group/forum called "Getting your gut back on track and learning how to trust it"? Or "WTF are you thinking? Stop that!"

Sorry for all that you are dealing with, cbazan. It all sucks.

directingpond 03/30/2011

apollinaire- it is a group for those who have left or are leaving- so it is primarily about recovering ourselves.

cbazan 03/30/2011

Thanks so much to both of you. The worst part for me was having a new baby and then realizing I had one with a stranger. So I believe the HARDEST PART is behind me which was putting him out KNOWING i would then become a SINGLE MOTHER @ 40. He's been gone since January and he only saw me one time and that was the day I found out about the FB account and I went and hunted him down. Can you believe he had some guy driving his car for him and he had the seat in full bucket mode. I mean it was dropped all the way to the back seat. A REAL WUSSIE!!! Brave enough to do all the slick BS under my nose, but not brave enough to face the SMACK DOWN I WAS ABOUT TO PUT ON HIS BUTT...LOL! Although I cry from time to time...I HAVE TO IN ORDER TO RELEASE THE RAGE I HAVE INSIDE....to be able to move forward. I think I'm doing an awesome job, but he has started calling now, leaving messages, crying, begging to come home, talking about missing out on important things in our son's life (he has 3 teeth now, and his mother said he literally broke down in tears when he saw the teeth)....NOT MY DAMN PROBLEM...it's all his! LOL! LOSER SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT WHILE HE WAS BUSY SLINGING HIS FUNKY BALLS ACROSS HIS SHOULDERS FOR THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY TO WITNESS.

deleted_user 03/30/2011

Cbazan- sorry for what you're going through. I have a 6 week old with my 12 year serial cheater. Also have 3 year old twins so will always be tied to his lying ass.... its hard. I'm here if you need someone to vent to.

Apolli- I definitely want to join "WTF are you thinking? Stop that".. can we start it???

cbazan 03/30/2011

Hey guys I want to invite you to look at my photos I just posted of my sweet sweet baby. I can understand his calling and being sick. He has to visit that beautiful little boy at his mother's house and then let him go for her to return him to me. LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL SWEET INNOCENT FACE...CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FATHER'S TRASHY WAYS.....I HOPE HE CRIES UNTIL HIS INSIDES EXPLODE...

Lstecker 03/31/2011

CB, this is all so messed up. I read all your threads, and damn, I mean, and DAMN.

I have no doubt you can handle this.

L~

cbazan 03/31/2011

Good Morning DS Family and HELLOOOOOOOO LStecker!!!! How are you? Missed you guys although I would have preferred to come by and check on you rather than have to tell you I got stiffed yet once again. Yeah Damn is an understatement. I'm making it, but this morning I believe that I am at the ANGRY AS HELL STAGE. It's beyond me why this fool won't just GO THE HELL AWAY. I mean AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED HE HAS SHOWN ME NOTHING BUT "GRAVE" DISRESPECT. I am posting a new topic to vent this morning about what and how I'm feeling. I am looking forward to the opinions and encouragements from you and my extended DS family. Talk to you later love and I hope your having a great day thus far.

deleted_user 03/31/2011

Wow...I'm speechless. You gots some serious spine on you to be able to be so strong. You have my utmost respect. Wow!

Adorable pics by the way!

deleted_user 03/31/2011

My STBX also begged me to have a child with him. At the time, I was 36, he was 41. I already had a 15 year old son from my first marriage. He had no children. I loved him so much I agreed. At 37, I had twin girls. At 38, I gave birth to a boy. He promised he loved his family and I believed him. I completely trusted this man. In October, he moved out leaving me at 41 with three young chilren to care for. He claimed that he was having a nervous breakdown. The truth...he was having an affair. I hate him and feel stupid for having believed his promises. However, I do feel blessed to have my children. They have given me the strength and determination to move on. He is the one that is going to miss out on his children. I pray someday he realizes what he has done to our family. HUGS.

directingpond 03/31/2011

Wow these guys are winners, huh? Yeah, mine talked me into having a tubal ligation reversal surgery, put us into major debt for the operation that he so kindly left me with, and has abandoned completely the now 2 year old that was "the biggest gift and honor" I could have bestowed him. I don't regret my kiddo, but it stinks that he had plotted to do this and leave me. He got what he wanted though- that's the important thing for him- immigration stuff, since he now has a bio child born here he will never be deported. What a sweety.

cbazan 03/31/2011

I am saddened and DISGUSTED all at once with the actions of so many MEN. I mean seriously..LOOK AT THE SOCIETY WE LIVE IN...the calamity that happens everyday. Look at the way people carry themselves, how they treat others. Why would these men bring life into the world and then abandon their responsibilities. I WILL DIE ENSURING THAT MY CHILD DOES NOT BECOME THE "STEREOTYPICAL" individual who was raised WITHOUT A POSITIVE MALE in their lives. SHAME ON THEM ALL..AND GOD HAS OUR BACKS. Thanks for all the kind and reassuring words my friends. It means a-lot and we are all here to SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER in the hard times.

Lstecker 03/31/2011

Well, Hello BACK!!!! I had often wondered how you were doing...

...them sons o' bitches, hey?

Sooooo glad you are laying this ALL at his feet and not blaming yourself, cb. So many times, we women do that. 'Like hell,' right? You didn't do this. Hell, you had every right to trust what he said. And what he did.

Have to say...you are one of the strongest around.

There for you, L~

cbazan 03/31/2011

You know what everybody..thanks so much for all the kind and gentle words. I'm a very proud woman and I am also woman enough to own up to something...This is the SECOND GUY that has cheated on me with a neighbor. At this point, I'm really wondering what MY DEAL IS....why do I keep choosing the same KIND of man. I think I know. I put waaaaaay to much into the OUTER LAYER of a person. If he's not "EYE CANDY" I won't give him so much as a side glance. I HAVE TO REALLY START PEELING AWAY AT THE OUTSIDE LAYER AND FIND OUT WHAT HE HOLDS WITHIN....I guess if he's extremely attractive to me, others will find him just as appealing. He is truly a wolf in sheep's clothing. I guess the old saying is true...WHAT LOOKS GOOD TO YOU DON'T ALWAYS MEAN IT"S GOOD FOR YA. OR ALL THAT GLITTERS ISN'T GOLD...MORE LIKE A POOL OF CRAP WITH A BLARING GLARE FROM THE SUN...

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