Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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whatodowhattodo 03/07/2015

I've been with the same girl for 10 years and recently found out that she was having an affair. I suspected it from the beginning and it caused many problems in our relationship. She lied to me repeatedly, devised ways to meet him, but would constantly say that she wanted to work things out with me. When I found out for sure that it was an affair, I immediately decided to leave the relationship. I gave a lot of thought to my situation and how much I cared for her, and changed my mind. We got engaged 2 months later and then I started to realize how hard it was to deal with everything that she did. The wedding date has been set and things are moving fast now. I sometimes think that I am about to make the biggest mistake of my life. She had a son that was 7 months old at the time I met her, and to him, I am his father. I don't want to hurt him, and I still love her, but I have been destroyed by what she has done. I can't be sure that this won't happen again and I'm not sure if getting married and trying to work through it is the answer. Am I about to make the biggest mistake of my life?

whatodowhattodo 03/10/2015

I want to thank everyone for the support and opinions. I am familiar with the trials and tribulations of marriage, my first marriage lasted 15 years. We had 3 children, and one has given me a beautiful grandson. My fianc is 9 years younger than me and has never been married. I'm fearful that her excitement for planning the wedding has temporarily taken the place of the euphoric feelings from the affair. I went to my counseling appointment this morning and I think that I have settled on moving the wedding date back. Thanks again for all the support from everyone.

deleted_user 03/11/2015

Please think really hard and long about this. It's a possibility that she is remorseful but it lasted ten months and she was found out. You forced her to tell you. What makes you think she has stopped? Sorry to say that when people are this deceitful ,it doesn't turn out well.
You are setting yourself up to be hurt. You don't have to settle for someone who has disrespected you like this. You experienced love but I don't believe she did or has. What is she going to do when she gets bored? W

Hmph 03/11/2015

Great point, Grand. Because boredom will be the excuse for all impulsive acts in the future. I would bet money on it.

queenofnothing 03/16/2015

Postpone the wedding and give it more time for healing.

SilentMaid 03/29/2015

I agree with everyone when they advise postponing the wedding. I totally understand your situation. And if you have your doubts, just don't go through with it for now. If she really wants to change and work on the relationship, getting married isn't going to solve anything. Take your time and rebuild the trust. Hope everything works out for you...

musclegirl 04/01/2015

YES SIR, you ARE making the biggest mistake of your life. Take what you have and are feeling right now..... get married, and multiply that by a million, because that is exactly where you will find yourself. Going into a marriage with a pile of poop attached is complete and utter insanity.... Marriage makes everything that are good... better, AND everything that is bad.... WORSE... No sorry, the decision to cancel after all this work and effort might be hard, but dude, it is NOTHING compared to the shit you will have after you say "I DO"....

Trudilu 04/02/2015

Hi,
I would say that if YOU have any doubts about marrying her, then don't do it! You have to eliminate all doubts before feeling good about entering a marriage with this woman.

Also, everyone makes mistakes and it does not mean that they will do it again. Some people learn by their mistakes. I think you should put off the marriage and go to counseling until you're absolutely sure that she can be faithful to you and wants to me. Once in 10 years is a slip and anybody can slip.

If you both love each other - do give her another chance but go at your own pace.

lisalisa72 04/06/2015

It sounds like you've already created a family of sorts together. What has kept you from getting married for the past 10 years?

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