Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I found out my husband had a four month affair with a co-worker. I also found out the name of HER husband and his phone number. Do you tell the other persons spouse even if you believe that the affair is over?
My CS had a ONS about 16 years ago and I found out who the OM was.
I learned (pre-internet): His place of employment, His route to work
His friends, hangouts etc. I actually began hanging out at HIS bar just to extract info.
Once I knew his morning routine, I saw that he crossed a park on the way to work....and passed a restroom.
One morning I awaited there with a baseball bat (wearing a suit).
I decided not to do it. Later.....as he walked on the street....I crawled beside him in a car. I will never forget the look of horror on his face when he saw me.
After some torturous phone calls where I threatened his life.....he quit his job and moved out of the country.
I learned his phone number and address in Europe. How? I contacted the post office and pretended I was him....and was not receiving my forwarded mail.
I then contacted him in Europe and promised him he would have a visitor when coming home from the pub one night. He cried in fear.
Just sayin.....
My fear is that something will backfire and I will cause him to lose his job. I do not know the husband, so I am fearful of how he might respond. At first the reason for telling is because I wanted her to hurt, but then I honestly felt like he should not be kept in the dark. But my husband is so remorseful and committed to rebuilding that I thought about leaving it up to fate/karma and hoping he found out on his own. I know this sounds all over the place, but this is how my emotions are from one day to the next. So thanks so much for all of your advice!
If you tell him, have him do some spying before playing his cards and base his knowledge from that, not from what you said. He would probably agree to do that in order to avoid giving them reason to get back together to discuss things.