There is no reason to cheat either then if your realtionship is so bad then - get out and figure out what went wrong and then after a time period - moving on.

For men - mainly its an ego boast thing - they don't think they are that attractive to women and a women comes along and hits on them - that makes them feel special - as long as the women is someone they are attracted to - has to be one of those women - then they might cheat.

However, here are a number of reasons why people would give reasons why they cheat - mainly women. The women top 10 are listed below.




10. Not enough sex
9. Being the bad girl - didnt have time to go crazy in life - got married young.
8. Self-esteem
Sex can be an instant pick-me-up; a self-esteem booster that makes women feel sexier, more beautiful and more loved. If your wife or girlfriend has self-esteem issues, it doesnt mean shes automatically going to cheat -- and its certainly not your fault if she does -- but there are ways to make her feel secure in the relationship that could help her from straying. Pay attention to her, ask her questions and dont hold back on compliments -- a little flattery goes a long way with women.

7. Revenge/payback for past wrongs
6. Lack of intimacy
You have it all: the house, the two-car garage and the two-and-a-half bathrooms -- at least on the outside. But inside, the relationship is lacking the one thing women want most: intimacy. Its not just sex that makes women feel connected in a relationship; its touching, kissing, cuddling, and communicating. Women crave it, and she could seek it elsewhere if shes not getting it at home. To improve intimacy, spend quality time together, give her a foot massage, make a romantic dinner for two -- anything that will give her a sense of unity and closeness.
5. Feeling neglected/ignored/underappreciated
4. Your emotional withdrawal
Women are emotional beings. Not only do they need physical support, but they also need emotional support. Once you retreat from the relationship, she sees it as a sign that things are through -- a breakup is inevitable. So, shes not really cheating, shes moving on. To avoid this, be present in the relationship. Yes, that means sharing your icky feelings, but its better than the alternative, right?
3. Bedroom boredom
2. Exit strategy
Instead of breaking up with you, she cheats on you. That way she doesnt have to deal with the broken relationship, which is much harder to fix. An affair is the easy way out -- or at least thats how she sees it. Thats another reason communication is key. Let her know that she can talk to you about anything and that you love her enough to work through any bumps in the relationship road.
1. Revenge for your cheating

I was told it's because she gave him more attention, because he was a porn addict, because she had bigger boobs, because she texted back faster than me, because he was so exhausted from trying to win a bioware (video game company) auction that he magically drifted into adult chatrooms and was too tired to notice that he was soliciting cybersex and giving out the link to our personal photos (and so I should therefore feel SORRY for him, not angry), because he liked being whoever he wanted to be with the other people (meaning he could put up a whole facade for them and turn from a jerk jock into a wiccan poet), that he thought it was unfair that I had had more sex than him before we met and so he wanted to catch up, because he felt that he could get cheating out of his system and then come back and commit to me and we could live happily ever after... the list of stupid excuses goes on.

I've cheated on serious boyfriends in the past... with one (super nice guy who didn't deserve it) it had nothing to do with him, but with my own issues. I wanted as much attention as possible from as many people as possible. I was full of self-hate, and I looked for destructive situations with other people to confirm that I was a bad person. To be honest, at the time, I got off on the lying and the sneaking around because it was just like, "oooh, look at what a piece of crap I am". With another ex, it was because I was positive he was cheating as well, and as we had some physical confrontations that ended really badly for me, I was scared to leave and felt like he deserved to be cheated on. It was a passive aggressive way of getting back at him for how hurt and angry I felt.

I will say that in both situations, there is a certain type of glee you get about being such a jerk... like contacting your SO while with the person you're cheating with. I can't really explain it, I've never stolen anything but I assume it would be the same feeling as that. "Haha, I'm screwing you over right under your nose, and you're still being nice to me because you have no idea!" I admit that I had no respect for the people I cheated on, though it wasn't their fault.

One of the main people cheat is because they have low self esteem and a low ego.

Having a love triangle really builds your ego. Hey I have 2 people fighting for my attention and they both think I'm special. I must be special.

Yes - your special enough to be king/queen jacka&&.

It then falls into the absolute selfish category.

There are many reasons why people cheat but mainly its because they have very poor decision making skills and there is something morally broken with them.

It could be do to what they experienced growing up - they have witnessed the effects first hand - they want the attention - they like the control it gives them but again - all of this is very short lived and for the rest of their lives - they get to look back at what a piece of crap they were. The mirror could be your best friend or your worse enemy.

I think it basically boils down to "because they can".

looking too much further than that can drive you crazy.

The reasons they give are not the same reasons they cheat...nor are they the same reasons they THINK they cheated.

For example....I would be a relatively small paycheck that your friend cheated due to low self esteem, combined with poor conflict resolution skills......as it is for most cheaters.

The reasons they give are not the same reasons they cheat...nor are they the same reasons they THINK they cheated.

For example....I would bet a relatively small paycheck that your friend cheated due to low self esteem, combined with poor conflict resolution skills......as it is for most cheaters.

cheating has nothing to do with low self esteem. cheating has everything to opportunity, not getting needs met in a relationship, or any other situation.
Why don't people ask the person who was cheated on what was their part? of course they never have a part they are the prefect people. I am intrigued at how cheating is such a one sided situation in a two person relationship.HAPPY PEOPLE DO NOT CHEAT, AND COWARDS STAY IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH THOSE WHO CHEAT WITH MORE JUSTIFICATION THAN THE CHEATER...It's just my opinion. so why complain if your not gonna do anything different!

100's of times asking EW answer always the same.

DUNNO

You know. We've had many fights over this exact thing. I've asked him why he cheated and the only answer I've ever received is "I don't know". I strongly disagree with care1. I don't think that any of us that were cheated on feel that we are "perfect". In fact, I felt the exact opposite -- completely inadequate. I've asked several times what I did wrong in our relationship to make him feel he needed attention elsewhere. I've asked what I can do to fix our relationship, what I could do differently in the future. Again, the only answer I get is "there's nothing wrong with you, I don't know why I did it."

"Happy people do not cheat." Unhappy people... Those with a good moral compass... Don't either. There are always other options. So yes, the relationship may not have been great, which can be the fault of both partners. But the choice to cheat is an individual one, not a decision made by both partners.

Another major factor in cheating is "resentment" as well as there is an emotional need not getting meet in the realtionship.

If you combine those two factors - you have one large ticking timebomb waiting to go off which is your spouse.

So if they feel as if your not listening to them - not giving them enough attention and they resent a bunch of things that they perceive as wrong having been done to them - or are not getting done - they will feel as if they have enough of an excuse to do whatever.

I think the play book goes something like this - some AP physically likes your WS. Sees or meets them somewhere - AP of this type of person normally are really screwed up people themselves - basically crazy as heck cause who really in their right mind hits on a married person when there are so many "single" people out there right?

So your WS is walking around like a timebomb and this person comes a long - gives them attention - sees it working on them - WS eats it up - both people are getting something out of it - WS is now getting emotional needs meet through AP BSing.

AP now has a new challenge/target to take their mind off of their other crazy thoughts that go through their head.

WS now has a love traingle happening between BS and AP and loves this attention to the tone of they will start really getting angry at BS for just about any little thing. This is the fence sitting and cake eating aspect of it and them comparing a fantasy realtionship with the reality of you and bills etc.

This is why its called crazy town - cause everything is - well reality is so screwed up in these cases - that once they come back to reality - the WS normally after a year or 2 of crazy town living - they are really really screwed up and some even go into a mentaily hospital because once they come down to planet earth again - they cannot believe what they did and destroyed.

Some have said that a reason for cheating is the WS is not getting their needs met.

This is an absolute fallacy.

NOBODY's needs get met. It a persons needs ARE being met by another, they are way too dependent on others.

Hell, my needs were never met....it didn't make me want to cheat or have sex with someone.

The fact is.......Sometimes our 'neediness' is satisfied, and sometimes they aren't. It's truly rare that they are 100% being met....or not being met.
Relationships don't work that way.

I agree Blind. I didn't get ALL of my needs met either and I did not cheat. I never considered it because I just knew I had to take the good with the bad. And there was alot more good than bad so it was worth it to go without certain things. This is marriage!

Short answer: Opportunity + desire + failed to stop it from happening.

Longer answer: For various reasons I was in a vulnerable place. I really was not aware that I was vulnerable. I was drawn in little by little, quick sand style. There was a hugely addictive factor involved. I was playing with fire. Small boundaries were crossed one by one. I was cheating long before I knew I was. Long before it became physical. I tried to stop it because I knew I had to, because I love my H, because I knew it was wrong but there was that part of me that did not want to stop, so I was sending mixed signals. The OM does not hear your words, they catch your vibes.

Before it became physical, I was convinced that I would not really cheat. That it was under control. that i could keep it from going too far. (it already had)

I learned to compartmentalize, I learned to block out what I needed to block out in order to continue. Before it became physical, I convinced myself that what I was doing was harmless fun. After it became physical I just blocked, blocked, and blocked, not allowing myself to think about what I was doing and living my two separate lives thinking that I was successfully loving 2 men.

Most people cheat because they are unhappy within their relationship, while they may not even see it. This is what happened to me. It is also a fantasy, a break from reality in which the lure is incredibly strong. Or an ego boost like onyx 11 says. It is reinforcement to a man or woman that they can still be attractive and wanted by the other sex.

His "reasons" were lies. I had a physical illness, needed surgery, and he claimed that I was faking. He also claimed this OW was smarter and more talented than me. I am confident the OW is not at all smarter than me and her only talent is playing video games. Plus I was NOT faking illness. After my surgery I got better, and he continued his fantasy that I was faking it because otherwise he would have to face that he was in fact NOT justified in cheating and made a huge mistake. Also he was abusive, and when I got better I stood up for myself and would no longer tolerate being abused. The OW on the other hand makes a more willing victim than I, which made her more attractive to him.

I believe his real reason for cheating was a combination of drug and alcohol abuse, complete lack of morals, and needing to find someone who would support him in the addictions and lack of morals... and that someone was NOT me.