Can we re-frame this in the form of a supportive question, such as: is there more to this that you are ready to share with us about why she would call the police? Or are there mental health issues in play that would contribute to the situation? Have you left anything out of your story that you would like to add now, so that we can better know your situation?

We are very close here to the "consider yourself slapped" equivalent from another group...

Well, there never been abuse. We never fought. We were on the same page all the time. Until she start to seek others approval and comments. Im quilty of just being a man. There was no assault my lawyers say charge will be dropped in time. They have reviewed the disclosure with me and clearly there was no assault. I took the phone that's it! She in the mean time has drained all our joint accounts, drained our line of credit and cashed my bonds to leave me with nothing. I suspected an affair for some time and she cuaght on that I was onto her. She even went to see him on our 19th anniversary! I got old and have back issues I have had a disc removed from my spine I just can't do the things I did when I was younger. We were looking to be empty nesters in 5 years or so and looked forward to traveling spending more time together. She now has changed her mind and wants to party and do the bar seen all the time. That's not my thing. She's already been posting how much her life is better and how it's not important to dwell on the past but who make you happy today. That was her last post. Yes I'm hurt. That stings a lot. I thought we had life by the balls but she had someone else's balls in mind! She hates me and I have no idea why? It eats at me because I wanted to see a marriage therapist to discuss what was going on to work through those problems. I don't even know what the problems were. Likely will never know. I guess some sort of midlife crisis?

The last weekend we were toghether she sent my son and I away for the weekend for a football trip. She was supposed to have a mom and daughter weekend. They were going to go to movies and takeout and do girlie things at home. The moment I left she backed my daughter up and sent her to her brothers for the weekend and she went off to a couples halloween party. I didn't know where my daughter was nobody would answer my texts or calls. My daughter finally texted me at 3:30 in the morning to say she was ok but I'm still not %100 sure where she was or if she was at a party with boyfriend or something. Meanwhile wife had house to herself with the guy that now makes her happy which now explains why the picture she has of me in the bedroom was in the window faceing outside with the blind closed. I guess she could not look at my face while he was in my bed with her! I look back now wondering how many times he was there in my bed. I had found mans underware on the floor in our bedroom that were not mine. I just thought they were my sons but now im not sure. They could have been his. I feel stupid looking back at all the signs that were there but I thought we were happy. My life feels like a movie right now. It doesn't feel reel but it is. And with Christmas around the corner it feels even worse. We were a family that loved to spend time together especially at Christmas time. Now I'm not there and he is. Just doesn't seem fair but that's my life at the moment. Just waiting for that sunny day.

I'm so sorry you are going through this! It sounds like you had hoped to reconcile but she has already made her choice. Please find some counseling for just yourself! This is a tough road ahead of you, one you didn't choose & didn't see coming. I wish you loads of peace especially during the holidays!

dont feel guilty for anything, even if you were naive is because you TRUSTED her...she is a coward for taking advantage of that trust, you need to leverage your anger in a healthy manner and think all about you now and your future, eat well, exercise as much as you can, hang out with friends and try to think of her the least you can. I will hurt for sometime but eventually you will detach, once you feel ready get into the dating game as much as you can to build your self steem up.....you can do it.
also try to think about how many other people in this world are less fortunate than you and live in poverty strugglying to stay alive or find a meal, that should help you gain some perspective and decrease the self-pity talk ....take care and stay strong....this is a new chapter in life, embrace it...

Thank You, Gravinggirl.

I don't think it helps the poster to accuse him of something he has not done, when he has stated such. I live in the same province as he and he is correct, all one has to do is call the police and lie, and it's exactly as he describes. She would have to show evidence of the abuse in court, via hospital visit, photos, history, testimony, etcetera, to gain any traction. Without evidence, the case is thrown out.

We are talking about the cheating wife of a betrayed spouse here, who claims to have been abused without any evidence of such. Please think twice before jumping to conclusions based on personal suspicion, just because someone screams abuse; this is how lynch mobs form.

Thank you Lenoire, as some time as past now things are slowly becoming clearer. I have a court date next week and hoping for a variation in contact to allow me to see kids. This is all I want for Christmas so I hope it works out. I have also found out that 2 months prior to the so called assault, she had called the OPP (police) and call the local court office to see how she could legally get me out of the house. I find out through friends of ours that she had been telling kids for months about a possibility that we may split. That was news to me I though we were happy, I still had my suspicions about her infidelity but I thought we were going to go to marriage therapist That never happen she refused to go. She will never admit to a mistake even if you have proof in front of her. She is always in denial, you catch her in a lie and she turns it on to you to make you feel like you did something wrong. I found out through one of her friends that the man she was with dumped her at the end of summer, they had sex 2 times and then he told her that he didn't think he should get involved with a married women. True love, he got what he wanted and left her! I wonder now if that's why she seem to take out some of her anger on me. As far as the so called assault , the next day she posts on her instagram a close up of her on the couch with a giant glass of wine smiling. Packing up my ex's shit! Is what she posted. 9 days later she posts she has found true love she as another boyfriend. Here I am mourning the loss of my wife and she's happier than she's ever been but she still is denying she had an affair! 9 days and she already found a boyfriend? 22 years together and she moves on that fast? I can't see myself even looking anytime soon plus I now have to deal with trust issues. It will be hard to ever trust someone again as far a stress, I am feeling a little better. I no longer have the stress of wondering where my wife was at night or who she is texting or if she is having an affair and going to leave me. That stress has been weighing me down for a year. That stress is gone. I find out that she has been talking to her affair partner since July 2015! So she has been at it for so time. I feel better knowing that I was not going crazy like she says I was. My gut feeling was right. I just wished we could have talked to someone to see if we could have worked it out or at least divorce a little more amicable. I worry about my daughter she is only 15 and at an impressionable age. I hope she is getting some help. We were close. I worry about my son. If he still doing well in college, he needs to continue and work hard and not use this to drop out. We were close too always throwing the baseball or football around. My kids are what is important to me now nothing else seems to matter. It's been only 6 weeks now and I'm feeling a little better just think it takes time and I realize that I can't speed up the courts but in time I will be happy again.

Yes, you certainly will be happy again, and it sounds like you're focus is on target for a healthy healing journey. I hope you have a screenshot of that Instagram photo of her with a glass of wine smiling, because that would anger the magistrate and could potentially lead to imposing a penalty.

Once you see a person for who they are, love takes on a different shape, making it possible to detach, and facilitates the way from grief to healing, as you seem to have experienced here. And I'm so glad to hear this, and wish you well.

Let your kids know how important they are to you. Stay in close contact to them. Don't trash her ever, or speak of her in an ill way. Answer their questions truthfully, and let them see for themselves who the questionable character is here. Allow them an opportunity to speak to you about it in private. Don't shade, cloud or colour your answers, because they can see right through them; just tell it like it is, and you'll have their respect.

Keep in touch and let us know your progress. Christmas may not be so bad after all.

Really hoping you are allowed contact with your kids for the holidays! And glad to hear you are moving on and feel unburdened now about what has apparently been going on for some time. It is a huge relief to realize you're not crazy isn't it? I for one was liberated in a way when I understood I was not crazy after all, but had been superbly played for many many years. Here's to clarity and I wish you all the best!

Update. I was granted contact with my kids a week ago. We have spent 3 days together. It's nice to be able to talk to them again. The best Christmas gift ever.

I'm so happy for you! Being with your kids is the greatest gift of all.

I have been able to spend lots of time with my kids. She is never home now so they call and text all the time. Kids are starting to ask questions. I've never told them yet of her affair but my son suspects something. Some day I will answer their questions but not right now. She has threatened to call the cops on my son because they had an argument. She has threatened to kick him out twice now. Shes a real winner. My kids say she is always talking bad about me to them and her friends. I don't know why she hates me so much. She seems to be hanging around a rough crowd Not sure if there's drugs involved now or just the booze. I fear for my daughter she is at such an impressionable age. My son says my ex is always talking to different men and I don't want my daughter around that. Things just seemed to be getting stranger by the day. My next court date is Jan 31. My lawyer thinks the crown is going to withdraw the charge. We went over the disclosure and there is no evidence to hold the charge. Only her jumping on my back while I'm trying to leave with her phone. So that is good news but this is such a waste of the courts time. There needs to be consequences for people who make false allegations. She just did this to get me out of the house and no punishment for lying. I don't get the laws here.

My wife and I separated in September. We started working on things and started marriage counseling. Is week before Christmas while on a date she told me she was done with counseling and us. I hacked her Facebook a few days ago and found out she's been having and affair with her ex boyfriend since we were in counseling . I called her out on it and she admitted to it and refuses to give up her exboyfriend. She already knew I was suffering from severe depression and this news made me suicidal. She still doesn't care and has continued the relationship. Sad thing is both of us are Christians and are in ministry. My wife always hated cheaters and swore she wasn't the type to do that. When I told her how God feels about adultery and divorce, I was told "That's just something I will answer to God for.

Ah man I feel for you. My wife said the same thing. She always said she hates cheaters and that too many people now a days just give up on their marriage without trying to work out there problems She said this just this summer at a pool party in front of all our friends. I find out later she was having an affair when she said that