Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
not sure about this but here I go. Had my life ripped away from me. My wife of who we have been together for 22 years and 2 kids age 18 and 14. She had an affair something she always said she was against. She was repulsed by those who did it to their spouses. Now she is one of those. I found out on October 30th but had my suspicions for awhile now. Really hurts I can't help to think it was my fault even though I know it wasn't. If I could have stopped it or when the turning point was. I try to act strong but in private I'm a mess. Not sleeping , eating, crying like a baby at night. Just trying to figure it all out. So now here I am , no wife, no kids, and no home. I spend hours a night driving around just to pretend I have a place to go. 41 years old and living at mom and dads. Christmas is really going to suck this year. She was my best friend We did everything together and it just all stopped.
Sorry i left out the reason I can't go home. In Ontario Canada, all a spouse has to do to keep husband out is call 911 and claim assault. This is what she did. I took her phone which I purchased and pay the bill for to see who she was taking to. She was sleeping and phone was on headboard so I thought I could take it an sneak a peak. She lost it and called police. This was all for not her phone was password protected she changed the code. She told me a month ago that I should leave I refused. This was her way to get me out. Police tell me everything looks good but I still have to go to court. My brother in law is OPP officer and says that crown will likely drop the charges. In Ontario all you have to do is yell at someone and that is assault. I've never ever laid a hand on her or my kids. This could have been handle a lot differently if she would just have talked.
steel yourself for what is to come.
Why do you say you have no kids? And why are the one out of the house?
How long has the affair been going on? And was it one affair or a series of affairs?
And did you discover it or did she break off the marriage to pursue the affair partner.
Infidelity sucks. If you haven't read about it yet, go check out chump lady.com. She tells it like it is, but in a very humerous way.
You did nothing to make her have an affair. That was her decision. There is nothing to justify an
affair.
Go home - today and toss her out.
I'm not sure why you've left your matrimonial home, is it because you're repulsed by her? Your children need you, and driving around in the car at night, is no place for a good man. Your children are worried about you and need you home.
I know social media isn't for everyone, but if you can give us more details about your situation, you'll get much more pertinent advice than can help you move forward and heal in a healthy way, instead of dealing with it alone and making mistakes that will injure you more than you already are. Many of us have been in your shoes, and it's no place to be without help. Although it may seem like it now, I can tell you that it's not the end of the world, and you will come out of this okay.
You've been broadsided, and you're in emotional ICU, and probably not thinking clearly. You are very vulnerable right now, and probably need help and direction with how to proceed. You're hurt beyond words, and may be thinking there is no hope, but I can tell you, as well as the many betrayed spouses on here, that there IS hope, and you will climb out of this okay.
Get it out here and get to know what and how other betrayed spouses have dealt with what you are dealing with right now. Cheating spouses often have a way of shifting the blame, in part or whole, because they don't want to be responsible for their actions. Their sensibility is fogged by the affair partner, and many here can tell you how to deal with this and proceed towards a reconciliation if that is your desire.
The important thing is to not make rash decisions at this time, as your mind is not in a place to make sound ones. Go back home to your children, be where you belong. Sit and calmly talk to her about what happened, and get a real sense for what it looks like. Don't decide it's over and that Christmas will be horrible, without being able to see a clear picture of your situation. You might surprised with how this can turn out, if you spend the time delving into this, instead of running away from it, or rushing into quick decisions driven by your hurt and fear.
I hope you are taking care of yourself.
I hope it eventually works out. She's drained all accounts, maxed the line of credit and just cashed my bonds. The bond I did get lucky, I changed the automatic deposit to my new bank account the same day just before she cashed them the money was deposited into my account. She as no authorization to cash them. Just keeps getting better :(
Start acting faster to benefit yourself and protect your kids. if she is using drugs and booze, move home and note this to your lawyer.