hello, and welcome.
You are in pain and hurting, you should focus on yourself, work on healing your soul.
You CAN NOT change him, any attempt will only cause you pain and hurt.
Start your daily journal of your success and failures.
You need to focus all of your energy on yourself now. Now that you are unemployed, start going to the park, beach or just for long walks. Take this time as a gift to learn about you.
Learn about your hobbies, if you dont have one, start trying everything. You need a hobby, and peers to help you grow.
Start reading even the bible, read the entire bible. Pray everyday several times a day.
In your journal write down how you feel and then the truth about the fact.
Be kind to yourself and gentle you need to heal, respect yourself as much or more than you do your husband.
You must encourage yourself to grow and be the best version of yourself.
Keep coming back

I don't know how old you two are, or how long you have been together, and do you live together?

Is he remorseful, has he cut things off with the other woman?

Keep journaling, as you just did. It helps to get the feelings out of your head and on to paper. Yes, it's true that none of us can control another person, we can only control ourselves and how we react to a situation.

Turn the hurt and anger you feel, into pushing yourself to develop more of a life outside of just HIM. have your own interests, hobbies, social life, etc.

Talk to your therapist about this. Do you have family, any friends at all, that you can talk to?

I've been self focused for the last four months or so, it just isn't getting any easier. I take my dog on long walks when I'm upset. I started writing things down just to get them out. Meditating before bed, and listening to music that makes me feel deeply. I have gotten back into my art. All of this aside, I just have this void in me. I really try not to be self critical as I know I didn't cause any of this, but I also find myself second guessing my part, wondering if there were things I could have done to change the outcome. I do want to bey beat self and that's where a lot of hurt is right now. I don't want to waste time, I'm 27 and he is 32 and we have been together four years. I moved a couple states away from my home to pursue our relationship and I have no family here. He said he ended it but I still see red flags, and there is no real way for me to be sure. I just feel like I annoy him constantly, like I'm a burden. And I wonder why he would want to stay with a burden. I don't have any friends here, I have tried to make relationships since I moved but they just seem to stop replying to my texts or always have other plans. It's disheartening. I don't even have friends back home anymore since I've moved theyve forgotten me. I sound like such a self victimizer. I do talk to my therapist every week about this. I feel better for an hour or two and then the same feeling just seeps back into place. I'm here on this site because I am alone in this and I desperately don't want to be. I've even looked for infidelity groups near me but there are none.

I have experience this exact same issue and am unfortunately very familiar with the anxiety of an unfaithful and remorseless partner. To make a long story short I extricated myself from the marriage and it saved my sanity.

My ex had issues, many issues to include cheating and alcoholism. I was unaware of the depths of the issues for a long time. Years into my marriage I caught her in a lie, having to do with drinking, another man and her whereabouts. Up until that point I had never even considered that she would be either unfaithful or untruthful.

I filed that information away and a few years later I caught her amidst a long term affair. This is in and of itself is a long story as to how that transpired. I was devastated, we separated but then got back together.

I tried and believe I did forgive her, but the trust was broken. During this point in the marriage I was riddled with anxiety. What was she doing? who was she with? She was initially remorseful, but it didn’t last long. We tried counseling, device location sharing, and other methods to try to rebuild trust. She was unwilling to follow through with it, and used any excuse to go off on her own or turn off her phone.

I spent countless nights sitting alone, watching my phone, waiting for her to respond to one of my many text messages asking when she was coming home. In hindsight it was ridiculous how much bullshit I tolerated. A real partner who truly cared, even if they had made a mistake, would not have consistently placed me in that situation.

I don’t really have a solution for you. In my experience the best thing to do is remove the toxic person from your life. Moving on is hard, lonely, and scary. I can assure you that it gets better, and that you are not alone.

I am genuinely sorry you in the midst of experience this. It is truly a miserable and all consuming experience I would not wish on any person.

That void is a spot you should focus on, its a spot in you that you might be avoiding, Pain, anger, feeling of unloved, or other emotions you are afraid to show.
Good to know you are walking and into art.
Remember in your writing to write down facts, not just feelings.
Love yourself and respect yourself, spend time reading the bible or even listening to it while you do your art.
If he is not getting help, on his own and working on his own issues and problems then he will relapse. You can not heal him, or change him, only encourage him when you see good things happening.
I pray you are safe and healthy,

I literally could have wrote this word for word. You are not alone. I am in the same exact place as you. It hasn’t been a year yet for me and my husband acts as if I need to quit bringing up the past and let it go. He acts as if it’s done and let’s move on already. He was my best friend too. I never would have thought he’d do this to me. To our family. I cry so much when I think about it because I’m mourning the loss of my best friend. It feels like a death. I feel empty and hollow and numb. I can’t smile anymore. I’m broken. The me i was before is no longer here. I am struggling to figure out my place. Like you, I am supposed to fix this on my own all alone. I don’t bring it up anymore but I have triggers constantly. I feel like it’s over. I don’t know if I can be happy with him anymore. Wish I had some advice for you. Just know you are not alone.