i am always here to listen, and if by chance you need some advice in the meantime, feel free to read the advice i give in my journals

you're not alone!!!

So sorry for you. If he is not sorry at all than there's no hope. Take some time for you with friends. Go in therapy and built a support system if u don't have any. Than leave him when you found the strength. This man is gonna break down every piece of self esteem u have don't let him. Hugs ur worth much better

You can't restore a marriage with a cheater unless they repent and commit to change. Get a counselor, move on, and be thankful that you don't have any children who would be hurt by this selfish man.

I am sort of where you are. So I understand the not wanting to end it part. My H says he will stop cheating and wants to be together, but I asked for a seperation . I don't know if you can save your marriage, if he doesn't want to save it. I also don't know if mine can be saved.

I'm sorry for your pain. I know how you feel about having no one to talk to. I will be glad to talk. I sent you a PM.

I'm sorry you're going through this. As one who previously tried to do all the repair in a marriage, I can tell you it doesn't work when one party does all the work and the other can't/won't. Look for individual counseling for yourself so you have support during this really awful time. Please get tested for STDs. Consult a lawyer. Gather copies of all your financial information. He won't end it because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. You should not put up with this one minute longer.

My advice is not to push for reconciliation because you cannot do it alone. If you don't want to file for divorce yet, I would do the 180 and take care of yourself while not playing the love triangle game. He might shake out of the fog, and if he does, you can reevaluate your situation then. Either way, you will be stronger.

Thank you everyone! I certainly have a lot to think about...

One thing is clear, I am working on me and I will come out of this the stronger one.

good, get a team together,

- counseler
-lawyer
-dr.....(get tested for stds)

your husband is a piece of shit, his ex deserves such as she is the same, let them have each other

you can get through this
you are worth someones respect (firstly your own self respect)

Sorry you are married to someone who shows you such blatant disrespect.
If your husband outwardly and openly travels 350 miles every weekend, andcould care less that you know about it, to meet up with his former flame - I'd let her have him. I know that is a hard pill to swallow but you will come out the winner
He sounds like an arrogant narcissist.

You deserve someone who will love and respect you.

I'm so sorry. The only thing I can add is that he seems to have no idea how commitment works. It's hard and sad to realize while you were truly married to him, he may never have been truly married back. It's so unfair. But, yes, you can turn this story around and come out of this stronger. You already know how to love.

Stop having sex with him!

Remember that you are of great worth and to hold yourself dear.

If he is not remorseful you have to find a way to go cold turkey on him. Getting that strength is difficult, I know. but unless you do it he will manipulate you just because you have feelings for him. I ve been there. I thought If I game him the space and stopped the nagging he will come back but seeing me so weak just gave him more power and drew him away. You cant decide for him only do what you think is best for him. He has his own problem and you cant be in the middle.

I know this isn't my post, but I have a question. If I stay with a man who has cheated repeatedly and may not ever change does that make me weak. I want to stay together, but I really don't know if he will ever be faithful. I would like some opinions on this.....

lovepeace, you should probably start your own thread, but I'll answer. IMO it doesn't necessarily make you weak, but it shows you settling for less than you, or anyone, deserves. Perhaps it indicates low self esteem. Why would you be willing to stay with someone who will never be faithful? You should demand fidelity from your SO. I have decided that I'd rather be alone than be with someone who would treat me that way. It's hard at first, especially if you've been together for a long time. But you can break it off, and you will rebuild, and you gain a certain sense of power and confidence from being on your own. And THAT is better than the endless wondering, worrying, and hits to your self esteem from thinking about your unfaithful spouse.