Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
If a man lies about his past relationships does that mean there's more he's hiding.
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
L~
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/confrontation/no_contact.asp
The bigger issue is that he's in touch with a past girlfriend discussing how much they miss each other and what could have been. That's bullshit. If my husband did that, I'd be concerned too, concerned and absolutely furious. For me, it has nothing to do with past or current cheating, as we've never cheated on each other. It's an issue because it's simply wrong to profess feelings to an ex when YOU ARE MARRIED.
Facebook is the effing down fall of humanity, I swear.
If it were me - and it's not - I would be saying something. He may not want to come clean, but seeing as you saw it and read it, how can he deny it?
Sending you support. L~
lies are just plain bad shit
people that lie are just plain full of shit
You deserve a lot better than above
It destroys all of your trust and puts you in a position of constantly being on-guard. Your stomach churns 24/7. You can eat but you're not hungry, and have no desire to put any love or energy into anything you do or enjoy.
You question everything they say, you wonder about every time they're late or have to go somewhere without you. Your fear phone calls in the middle of the day, telling you they have to go to a function after work. When they're away on business or visiting family or friends, you assume the worst, and that gut-wrenching mind-flattening feeling you're forced to endure, the entire time they're away.
You dread making eye contact in the mornings, when you're most vulnerable. You find yourself wondering about things they've told you in the passed, when you first met, when you first said I love you. You live in fear thinking a day will come when they drop the bomb and tell you they're leaving, without any rhyme or reason.
Everything comes into question. You question yourself for falling in love with a liar. You dig back to try and remember where your emotional state was when you took the leap of faith. 'Is this my fault, did I get hitched because I was in an insecure place at the time?'
Being lied to is so destructive that it undoes everything you've ever done to make yourself whole and real. It strips away your confidence and ability to be real with family and friends.
The liar has little remorse, and is protected by the web of lies they live in. They believe that as long as you don't know, it won't hurt you. They are narcissistic, selfish, and usually arrogant. And that's why they can do what they do. A compulsive liar will lie without giving it a thought, because it's what they know and it's how they get through life.
Changing a liar is probably one of the most difficult characteristics to change in a person, because it's usually instilled in them when they are young. They learn the potency of telling a fib to people in a position of power, like mom and dad. They learn and see the immediate affects of lying and how easy it is to use. It doesn't hurt anyone, as long as they don't know, I get to do what I want.
Without even realizing it, as they grow into adults, they do this with other people in positions of power, like their boss, their spouse, and anyone else they feel the need to impress, or get away with doing something they know will meet with disapproval.
And once they tell a lie, they often have to tell numerous more to cover it up. The best liars claim to not being able to remember when you ask them about a situation. However, once they get telling, it's amazing at the details that come out. I would say to mine, 'Well if you can remember lie so well, why can't you remember the other times that you can't account for.' To which you usually get anger, and anger is the first sign someone is telling you a lie, or omitting information, and they're growling you off like an alpha dog.
Because they're so well versed at lying, they have a lot of experience using anger to stop people from prying further. To get out of telling the truth, they use their work stress, family stress, their depression, and anything else to fend off queries, "I'm stressed from work, my family is giving me problems, I'm depressed, and you're GRILLING me about stupid things that are all IN YOUR MIND?! "
This is a classic liar response to questioning. The person who has nothing to hide, has no reason to get angry. They would normally be amused by the fact that you're feeling jealous, and would take you in their arms and tell you there is nothing to worry about, and you're all they need, and answer every single question you have, without anger but with compassion.
So I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I am also dealing with a spouse who I believe has not told me everything yet since D day. I have been doing a lot of internet reading on the subject of lying and working on creating an environment where my spouse will be able to dish it out someday.
I've noticed that when I get emotional and weepy, he holds me and tells me wonderful things, and how sorry he is. His lying defenses seem to be weakened, and he seems more sympathetic to my needs instead of his. I hope to use one of these moments, to be able to suss out more information, in hopes that he'll someday cave.
I wish you strength and resolve.