Not deliberately, but I do tend to spot the signs in other couples more easily now. A neighbor whose daughter-in-law, after years of marriage, goes out and rents herself an apartment without the kids....tells me all about this weird behavior and I know exactly what's going on with this woman.

I liked oblivion better.

Most definetly oblivion would be my first choice too. It sucks I can't get my CS to understand triggers and hyper sensitivity for me. If only I could bury my head in the sand or better yet live in the "Fog" for awhile.

when you consider the statistics of how many are having affairs, or are cheaters, serial cheaters, why would anyone want to start dating again

Is there some type of test to see if the person is the cheating type BEFORE marriage? I know that's what dating is for, but many times, it happens so much after the hardships of marriage kick in.

Ever hear of the marshmallow test with kids? How delaying gratification or the inability to do so can predict later success with staggering accuracy? I wonder if an adult version would show that affairs are like eating the marshmallows- instant but temporary pleasure without any long term gain.

If there was a test how many people would trust the results? Unless there are trust issues from childhood. I know I would have more than likely dismissed the results early in my adult life. Probably similar to a CS in the "FOG" of betrayal.

Now going through this and feeling like I do now I can't bear to think about going and putting myself out there to the wolves. But then again I am not sure that would be any different from staying in my marriage and W/CS repeats history. Kinda stuck between a rock and a even bigger rock!!!

How funny

I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and I did that the entire time.
There were quite a bit of floozies running around. Their true sides came out later in the night with the alcohol. There was one that kept going to the bar at the same time as me. At first I thought it was coincidence , but then she made a comment. We can't keep meeting like this, my jerk husband will get suspicious, but then again, who cares, and then she winks at me. I was a little uncomfortable at that point. Especially because I knew quite a few people there and I did not want people judging me.
The rest of the night I just people watched and I saw all kinds of signs.
The cougars checking out the young men, the old men checking out the young chicks. I am one that likes to watch and listen and learn.

Good question - I never EVER did before this whole thing happened to me - EVER....

I do it all the time now - I think most people now are ready to do the "thing" with someone else at anytime now.

This is one of the gifts that being cheating on has given me. Awesome - Thanks STBX - what a great gift....

There i a great book called "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality" that I highly recommend.

It's a bit of a long read but it goes through a lot of the historical and current breaking research on whether humans are monogamous. Not to spoil it, but the overwhelming evidence is that, biologically, we are not monogamous. Being monogamous is a social choice that *some* societies, and only some people in those societies, make.

The fundamental conclusion they reach isn't really polyamory but it is close. They say that adopting a more "European" view of infidelity might save lots of marriages. In other words, assume it's inevitable that your partner will cheat but as long as they keep it out of your face, you look the other way.

I personally would prefer not to live like this.

As for testing, the golden rule here is how they acted in the past.

-- Have they ever cheated before?
-- When you met them, were they involved with someone else?
-- Is infidelity common in their immediate family?
-- Is infidelity well tolerated in their family?

You get one or two "yes" answers here and I think you are cruising to be cheated on.

Here's a fun set of tests, one for men and one for women. Seems like pretty relevant questions.

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/infidelity-quiz.html

Oh crap, I scored a 69. I might be a cheater and I did not even know it.

Hahaha! Keep in mind the tests that men take is to assess their wives/girlfriends and the one that women take assesses their husbands/boyfriends.

I see
Hell, I already knew she was a cheating bitch...... lol
Funny number though....69
it used to be our favorite until the mouthful of OM's jizz.

what I find funny about the tests, because I know my h really well, I felt I could with some certainty answer his questions about me and my questions about him, he the cheater scored a 51 and I the BS scored a 69....and so what that tells me is that I had more the reason to cheat than he did, and to those who think that I was biased, I will have him do the same as i did and report the results, oh and for those who think I did not honestly answer the questions in an attempt to sway the results, I don't opperate that way...this should be fun

Yes I do that. I even look at young innocent couples and wonder if it will happen to them.

I always do it.I will look at a couple and think "He has already cheated on her"or "They won't last she looks like she fucks mm" I know that it's stupid but I still do it O_0