Hi Melmel,

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is hard, for sure. But, you are going to make it.

Since he has chosen (yes, he made the choice) to do this, then you NOW need to take actions. Don't wait around for him, or expect an apology. Go to a divorce attorney. They do free consultations, and you can do it by phone. Find out from an attorney what your next step is.

It's terrible what he chose to do, but you still have your life to live. You can't wait around for him to act a certain way. He is already gone. As hard as it is, separate the emotions from what you need to get taken care of. Financial maters, living arrangements, house, support payments... things that need to be taken care of. Talk to a divorce lawyer and get the ball rolling.

Once you start taking actions toward helping YOU, you are going to start feeling a lot better, a lot stronger, and you will feel more in control of your life.

You are a young woman and you will go on to have a happier, much better life, with someone else (someday, when you are ready).

Take care of YOU now. Don't worry about him or what he says or doesn't say. It's about time that you looked out for you now. You are not the one that ruined the marriage. You did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. He made these choices, so he will have to live with them.

You're right. Don't text or call him anymore. He doesn't care. But he'll care plenty when he gets served the divorce papers. You are entitled to financial support, half the house, maybe even half of his retirement account... all things that you are going to need to live off of. Contact an attorney and get things going for yourself!

You are going to be okay.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you figure out soon what you need to do. I've been married 11 years to a cheater, who I dated for 9 years before we got married. He was a cheater back then too. Take some time and really think this through, or before you know it, you'll have wasted 20 years of your life on someone who doesn't respect you or love you enough to be a decent man.

Not talking is not the answer. Just talk to him. I cheated so I know. It is something missing. So have an open conversation and if it can be resolved well and good. If not go seperate ways.

Comforting hugs melmel.....I too went through the same thing , he cheated again and again two weeks after getting married ,he denied it ,still does ! be strong and get out , unless he is willing to do the work, get counseling, and remove this female from his life !

He is not talking to you because he doesn’t want to face the reality of him being a complete POS.
My guess is that any conversation with him would just cause you more pain.
You will get through this.. happiness is possible. There is better life out there

It's hard to say what percentage of cheaters return to a happy marriage, my guess would be few. Like most in the group, I've been cheated on in the past and my first reaction was, "What did "I" do wrong? I must be lacking some how if she had to turn to someone else.

The answer to that is simple, Your not to blame, he is. In my book, cheaters will always cheat or at least think about it.

Turn him loose, if he comes back make sure it's on your terms.

We are here for you, your not alone.

I dont know how to say this, but him ignoring you has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with him. Meaning, he feels guilt and cant face you. Meaning that he is hurting so much that facing you and being open to you means he may connect with you. If he did that, he would have to bolt.