Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Last night I was watching CNN and the topic was Infidelity. One of the guest speakers said that the majority of affairs for men got started because the wife was not having enough sex with her H.
I don't find that the case in my situation. I was always a willing partner. In fact once he started his A with the OW, he rarely came to bed at a decent hour and showed very little interest in me. In my own situation I think it was a self-esteem issue coupled with an old gf from the past who stroked that self esteem and then was more than happy to take it to another level.
I was curious from those out there who thought lack of sexual attention in a marraige was the main cause for an A or if it was something else?
I don't find that the case in my situation. I was always a willing partner. In fact once he started his A with the OW, he rarely came to bed at a decent hour and showed very little interest in me. In my own situation I think it was a self-esteem issue coupled with an old gf from the past who stroked that self esteem and then was more than happy to take it to another level.
I was curious from those out there who thought lack of sexual attention in a marraige was the main cause for an A or if it was something else?
So here I am, eternally never pleased enough not having my own sexual needs fulfilled, thinking I'm doing him a favour with what I was able to cope with, and it's HIM that seeks it somewhere else because I was unable to accept substandard sex as often as he would like. Go figure. A good lesson learnt.
Now I am single, that is a high priority on my list in my next partner. It will be my luck the sex will be hot but we're imcompatible in every other way!! Arrrrghhhhhh.
My h says that while his A was about a sexual act, it was more about having her WANT him and DESIRE him than that actual act of sex. He needed that and to feel needed. His biggest mistake was discussing his marital issues with her. As posted in a previous post, she tried to advise him and it was based on her own agenda. He also left off a huge part of the issues which was his part in our problems and how his behavior had contributed to them. He, in a nutshell lied and she also manipulated. I think a part of him actually started believing his own BS.
That being said one's sexual life may appear to be very active and healthy but the possibility for infidelity is everything else but far away.
Sex and intimacy touch some parts of our souls that we cannot identify. But we do react to them being stroked. Maybe that's why they say "Love is blind".
One would say that the cheating partner would always choose a more attractive accomplice (physicall and mentally) but that could not be further from the truth in many cases.
My point is simple - we do not know what really drives someone to have an affair. But incomplete sexual life certainly acts as a catalyst.
I'm allowing him his women as reverse psychology, again in the hope he will get bored of the women and want to be with me for love, not lust.
I feel to blame for the threadjacking.....I'M SORRY THEBEACH!.
ZACSMUM----No, I am NOT a LEO.....I am a Virgo!