I suggest that you join the "Cheaters Anonymous" group if you want advice. This room in NOT really sympathetic to OP. I give you credit for wanting to do the right thing but seriously, the guy's a dirtbag.

My advice... you say you want to end it so an innocent pregnant woman won't get hurt. Then end it.

Change your number. Simple as that. It is only hard for you cause you really don't want to end it.

The suggestion from rel8 is best. This support group is for those who've experienced the pain from the other end.

It is as simple as --- just walk away. New phone. Don't answer the calls, texts, emails. Get some new interests. Find new friends. An emotional connection can be generated from many individuals.

You seem to know what you need to do. Just do it.

As simple as "just walk away" is it??? If it were that simple - no one would still be married to a cheater. We'd just walk away. Easy.

YOu walk away ONE DAY AT A TIME. Every day. All day.

Sure, it sounds simple, but it's not. That is why you make the choice to WALK AWAY EVERY DAY.

Sending support.

Hello SJF
My goodness that MM you\'re with will pay a huge price if his dear Wife loses their child due to discovering his affair; bless her heart whom ever she is.
What a low life he is to play you and betray his Wife, the Mother of his child and new baby to be.
You may have an emotional and physical attachment to this man and you say you know what it\'s like to love him but he is someone else\'s H and not yours, you did know this!
YOU did have a choice unlike his Wife who is being deceived and betrayed.
I hope that you find the courage and strength to end your A.
If you truly have an ounce of feeling for the Wife then do the right thing and don\'t have any part in another couples life; you don\'t belong there.
Like Rel8 has suggested, there will be people who may be able to help at cheaters anon.

LOL (sorry). Whether you realize it or not, he\'s been cheating on you!! He\'s been sleeping with his wife (the mother of his children), he\'s been telling her he loves her!! He has sex with you and then goes home to his wife and kid...and possibly has sex the next day with her.

You are not his friend, you are his mistress!

BTW-I\'m not trying to be sarcastic at all but, How could you have sex with him knowing that he goes home and has sex with his wife? And knowing that he tells his wife he loves her. I can\'t figure out how females can handle this if they\'re in love their cheating man.

As a wife on the other side of the fence I beg you to be the better person and get rid of him ASAP. I do agree he cheats on you too and there very well could be others. I wouldn\'t put it past him. You deserve to find someone unattached and with whom you can start a life with from the beginning. I don\'t know how to begin to tell you how to break it off, maybe you should seek professional help, but please do. If anything, think of the innocent children please.

Block his emails and your phone number. If he finds other ways to contact you, threaten to tell his wife. That should pretty much stop him from ever bothering you again.

dear, you are being used. a lot of persons need to do something different for excitement. you are the excitement, other take drugs, go out drinking. He has betrayed his wife, and if you are friends, he has betrayed your friendship because you are being used...for mere entertainment and as a diversion. You are there possibly because of you self esteem...you don\'t think you can find someone who is totally yours. think about it. what makes you be with a person who is only willing to give you crumbs while he is having a real life with his true wife and family. you need to empower yourself and say you deserve better. Actually you deserve better than a man who is a cheater, who lies to his wife, who deceives her even while she is pregnant. Not a good profile of a real man. one more thing, think of karma. Careful what you are constructing for your own future. Be the first to end it...\'cause these types of relationships don\'t last. If he is in the brink of getting a divorce, you are just the stepping stone to his own future, without you. You don\'t want to eventually be dumped and humiliated. Be brave and stop it NOW!

I have been this wife - I found out I was pregnant (completely unexpected) and found out that my husband was having an affair. Not only did I lose my husband and life of promises but I had a miscarriage that I had to deal with alone. Now I can\'t say definitively it was finding out about the affair that caused it - but I guarantee I will never be able to say definitively that it wasn\'t.
I know its hard to leave someone you love - regardless of if you\'re the spouse or other person - because we want to believe. but believe me - being the one who\'s hurt is bad enough and losing a child makes it that much harder. just leave this guy

You\'re all right- obviously I have issues to be in this situation. I\'m not a bad person- I\'m respected in my field, I do volunteer work, I\'m the person people come to for advice and I always said the same things about people who do what I now do. Yes- despite this I have low self esteem. I was in an abusive relationship years ago and have had a hard time since and for some reason I\'ve always felt safe with this guy....maybe because there is no real chance for relationship, I don\'t know.

Your replies are helpful and honest and I will read them over and over again to help me stay strong to stay away. The changing my number and email is good advice. All of it is. Thank you and I\'m so sorry for any pain that any of you experienced- it would kill me to inflict that kind of pain on another woman. I need to end it before it ends badly.

Hon, sounds like you have a real prince of a man there. He has been cheating on you and his preg wife. Please take it from me, I was 6 months pregnant when I broke up H & OW. I almost lost the baby from the stress. My son was born 5 weeks premature because of all the drama!!! Please for the sake of that innocent unborn child brake all ties to that lying jerk and walk away! You deserve a MAN who will love and RESPECT ONLY you!!!

SJF,

Please know that I am not saying this to be unkind to or about anyone. As hard as this is to do, you need to make this decision with your brains and not your emotions.

You believe him to be a good person. Does a good person do what he did? When the two of you were dating before, was it supposed to be exclusive? And if it was, he Cheated on you!

And is he being a good person now?

Believe me, I know how hard and painful it can be to face the truth about someone you love! My FX is very emotionally abusive of me, and it took me 22 years of marriage before I really began to question what was going on and really look for answers!

I always told myself that he "really loved me, way deep down" and "when I finally showed him my pain, he would stop hurting me."

I spent about four months of 2007 in such deep despair, I thought it would kill me! His response to my finally showing him "my pain" was to ignore me, and step over or around me, where I lay curled up into a fetal position, weeping and wailing, literally moaning and screaming!

Yet, he is widely regarded as a "nice guy!" Just like all abusers! Does he sound like a "nice guy" to you?

I am sorry, but from what you are saying about this guy, he sounds like a big-time manipulator. Does he know your deepest vulnerabilities? Did you open up to him about your deepest pain when you were dating?

Oh, and by the way, this is pretty irrelevant to me, but I am a Betrayed Spouse, and I think you deserve better!

For your own sake, you must look at what he does, not how you feel about him and not what he tells you he feels about you.

Friendship plays a big trick on relationships. It has to be brought back into bounds.