Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I cheated on my wife when we first got married twice. Once with a close friend and another with a married woman. There was no physical interaction how I cheated was emotionally. For the married woman this lasted for less than a month but with the friend it lasted for around 3 months. Since then I have realized that I am a chronic attention seeker that I was selfish, egotistical and prideful and I allowed these flaws of mind to hurt the one I love the most. It's been three years now and I'm not sure what to do if I'm being honesty sometimes the guilty eats me away. Even with that guilt I try to be a better person a better husband. When she yells at me about it, it hurts me knowing that I put her through this. I feel like I am constantly hurting her but just being in this relationship. I don't want it to end but I also do not want to keep hurting her. I want to be a better person and today I'm joining this group to get help from others who may have hurt the ones that they loved just like I did. If you have anywords of advice I would gladly appreciate it.
Thank you for reading.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
This was three years ago? I have found that sometimes a topic like the emotional affairs will just leave you both frustrated.
Can you agree with your wife t avoid discussion about these interactions for a month to give you both some peace and quiet> Have you considered couples counseling> I think that this might be a good place to start since this whole thing seems kind of complex. Good Luck to You
Is it possible you weren't ready for marriage at only 21 years old? Did you feel pressured into getting married, etc. Why do you think you were talking to other women right after you got married?
Finding these answers within yourself will help you to see why you did what you did, and if you are fully committed now to your marriage for the rest of your lives together.
I am going to suggest you get into therapy if you are not. Use it to explore your personality. Figure out who you are and how you are.
Wife may or may not be able to forgive you. The personality traits you describe are difficult to live with. She is hurt and she is angry. She gets to speak about her pain until she is ready to stop. Changing one's personality is not always easy and I wish you the best. I am thinking maybe having a men's accountability group in person would help you. Not sure what this would be but I have heard of them.
I get it. I feel that pain and confusion too. I, too, have had a multi-month emotional affair with a close friend that eventually included a physical element. I made a lot of mistakes and I am trying to overcome them. The shame, guilt, and fear are real. You need to be honest with yourself and with your therapist. That is hard, but necessary. They need the full story to help you traverse those emotions. Your wife is probably constantly triggered by small and big things. She may be looking for you to help foster a safe place for her and you fully dealing with your side may be very helpful, Showing, and I mean actions, that you've worked hard and have chosen to be a better man. Remember that his is hard for both of you and you can't control her emotions. She's going to have them.
May I make a suggestion... Whereas I'm not claiming you or I are addicts, I've found some help and structure in the 12 steps. This can be done with a 100% spiritual backing or with a more secular structure. Step 4 is to make a searching and fearless personal inventory. This step is really difficult yet helpful to work through with a trusted confidant, a therapist, pastor, friend, support group.. This forces you to be honest with yourself and identify areas that are in need of change, self forgiveness, etc. You say you are an attention seeker and now feel great guilt. Have you forgiven yourself? I was able to label that I was a people pleaser and constant performer. Given language to the personality trait is big. The person I was within the affair was disconnected from the real me.
I wish you luck and feel free to continue this conversation. If the others here and are anything like me, we want to offer that safe space for sharing ideas and emotions.