calirn - that is excellent!! You should save that!

Your husband was this type of person. It only require for him to find another person with similar character.

If it wasn't her it would have been someone else. You can't even be sure there wasn't someone else before.

She is deceitful... she didn’t kidnap him and use mind altering drugs to keep him under her spell...
It’s like she’s Disneyland and you are his job... Disneyland is so much fun ... unless you get a job at Disneyland

Actually, he may have done the same thing with another woman. Don't give her so much power. Yes, it has taken me a long time to get to the point of understanding that with my BF's "friend" he kept hidden for months. BF had a need for validation, and he would have scratched that itch with any female who came along and agreed to participate in his needy midlife crisis state.

Thank you all for your responses. It has helped me. Each day I am getting better and better. And the person I need to take care of is me. Maybe one day he will see what he did and realize that he made a big mistake. His loss.

Also, just found out that she has been married twice already. Guess she is looking for husband number three. I know he's just a guilty falling into bed with her but to me she is nothing but trash. Like carlirn13 said she's Disneyland and I'm his job. I loved that when she said that.

Those two are miserable not due to their circumstances but because of who they are. They can't find contentment and continually spiral into worse situations.

I don't think you have to worry about them being miserable. because it is a self fulfilling prophecy if you live a life without consideration of others or with self respect.

You just need to become DisneyWorld! Be the facebook form of yourself. If you look at some peoples face books it’s like the have Unicorns flying out of their asses all the time! Take pictures with handsome guys you don’t know. (People will do this.. I promis, just ask lol) post pictures of hot new restaurants and (if you drink) glasses of wine. Always have something inspirational to say... it will get back.. ask mutual friends to dinner and comedy clubs..
FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!

I will give that a try. And show him what a mistake he made and what he has lost.

I get what you are feeling but I don't know if this will help you feel much better. The focus will still remain on them and showing them and hoping he regrets. They do not deserve to occupy even a fraction of your mind or time.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. It is disregard for someone else, just as you experienced it in the affair when he disregarded your feelings and pain.

I will try. It's just so hard. I saw him last night for a few minutes and he acted like the man I fell in love with 30 years ago instead of the stranger that he has become. I just want that man back and I want to turn back the clock. If only I could.

My husband of 25 years also had an affair - 11 months with a co-worker 17 years younger than me. He says she made him feel young and I make him feel old (he is 15 months younger than me!). I have found that the website marriagebuilders.com has given me a lot of great help. He and I are currently trying to work things out, but it is very painful.

I will have to check that out. Thank you. I hope things work out for you. I believe that men do go through a mid life crisis. What my husband is having but does not realize it. And this young hottie comes by giving him attention like he as never seen before and before you know it he is having an affair with her. I wish she next worked with him. Because I believe this isn't the first husband she did this too.

My story is so similar to yours. My husband's girlfriend flattered him - told him he was handsome, smart, funny; and he ate it up. He started working out obsessively; now I know why - he wanted to look good for her. And he admitted that he was her fourth affair (she has only been married to her husband for 10 years; what a track record). Of course, he believes that affairs 1-3 were nothing, but he is "special."

Haha of course he is “special” Today lol ... I often think about how we got to that place. Affairs happen for a reason, but there are no excuses (Dr Harley quote)
My H needed my praise. He needed to know I find him attractive. (Girls literally would tell him how good looking he is) But he never heard that from me. I figured he knew. I figured wrong. He now knows how handsome I think he is. It’s been 4 years. Not always easy... but happy. Trust will always be an issue. He knows this.