I’ve been married to my wife for 11 years and have two children that mean the world to me. Years ago I discovered an affair, of course she lied and denied the affair and I was ignorant enough to allow her to. In October 2016 I finally talked to the man I had suspected her of having an affair with years prior and had enough information about it all to where she couldn’t deny the affair. The confession, after three years of adamant denial, started off pretty much admitting to the affair. She didn’t offer any answer to why, what she was attracted to, or when it started. I know when it stopped, the day I found a picture of her and him laying in his bed together in her email. After 6 weeks or so the answers started to take a turn towards how she didn’t even want to have the affair, he basically drugged her and raped her, then manipulated her into the affair. I know without a doubt the affair lasted 12+ months and she went and spent weekends away with him and took our children to meet his mother. The infidelity itself doesn’t matter to me anymore, it’s the emotional damage and manipulations that do, the abuse is never okay. But I do wonder, how likely is it that this really occurred? That he drugged and raped my wife and then was able to manipulate her into a full blown affair, or is it just that she went down that route to escape in a manner of speaking the responsibility for her own decisions and actions? I’ve told her that if that was the case she has a moral obligation to speak to the authorities, our pastor even knows our local DA personally and could set a meeting up. She’s obviously adamantly against this idea, which just raises the question, was it that or was it just an affair plain and simple and now she doesn’t want to take the accountability for it.