Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
The husband of my good friend confronted me and my partner re some texts my partner had sent to his wife (my friend). They were sexual in context saying he loves her, and wants to make love to her, calling her sexy eyes and gorgeous with kisses and hearts. There were several texts of this nature, one even said he misses her . We have been together for 5 years and he is a normally so loving, kind, and generous.
I am so embarrassed by his behaviour. He said he was so drunk he really does not remember sending them, only the next day when she said he shouldn't be doing that he realised what he had done and said he was disgusted with himself. I get a feeling though it wasn't just one night of texting but I can't be sure.
He has tried to make up to me with lots of love, reassurance and says he does not want to lose me as I threatened to throw him out. I am devastated by his behaviour and don't know what to do, at moment I am taking a day at a time. My gut tells me there is more to this, even though he is adamant there isn't. My friend says she didn't take it to serious as she realised he was drunk. I have always said that using the drunk card is just an excuse for bad behaviour, but he really is a bad drunk..and he admits it. He hardly drinks because of it, he can be flirty, and aggressive when drunk...Just need thoughts, advice on this please.
I am so embarrassed by his behaviour. He said he was so drunk he really does not remember sending them, only the next day when she said he shouldn't be doing that he realised what he had done and said he was disgusted with himself. I get a feeling though it wasn't just one night of texting but I can't be sure.
He has tried to make up to me with lots of love, reassurance and says he does not want to lose me as I threatened to throw him out. I am devastated by his behaviour and don't know what to do, at moment I am taking a day at a time. My gut tells me there is more to this, even though he is adamant there isn't. My friend says she didn't take it to serious as she realised he was drunk. I have always said that using the drunk card is just an excuse for bad behaviour, but he really is a bad drunk..and he admits it. He hardly drinks because of it, he can be flirty, and aggressive when drunk...Just need thoughts, advice on this please.
I'd kick your partner out, if it were me. Let him earn his way back.
And ALWAYS trust your gut.
Listen to yourself....you know him....WHAT doesn't sit right with you? What part of it doesn't sit right? And then go from there.
Just throwing this out there, and I'm not saying this is the case, but sometimes AP's plan an escape should they be caught. They could have easily said if they were ever caught to play the drunk card....
although you did say there are concerns of his drinking behavior, then you say he hardly drinks......
The "I miss you" text would concern me also.
Why hasn't your girlfriend told you about him texting her? Is she hiding something? It sounds like she's covering up for him, by acting like it's no big deal, a highly unlikely scenario. Most girlfriends would call you right away and let you know what's happened.
If her husband is suspicious of her, then something is going on.
I wish you well.
Your friend had those secret texts sitting on her phone without your knowledge for how long? How backdated were the texts her husband found?
Trust your gut. People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. Deleting all texts, always, to me, is a huge red flag that this is not the only time he has crossed the line.
He has acumen in deleting history for a reason.
Cheating is a character issue, and if you sit and think about it, I am sure you can point to issues throughout his life that show his true character. Look at him as a stranger would, take off your "love" glasses and really, really look. No one is perfect, but decide what are deal breakers for you.
Look at the 180 and implement it. Back off and let him decide to fix the character....by himself....no reconciliation pixie dust from you like making counseling appointments, buying books, leading the charge, or you will have repeat after repeat of this behavior....and that will just be the tip of the iceberg, just the ones you KNOW about.
Does your beau delete ALL text messages, or is he selective about the ones he deletes? Does he delete the ones from you?
The lady in question is apparently really ill with all of this, conveniently I think. Something to hide in my opinion. I dont understand why this has nearly split THEM up according to her husband....if she did nothing then why ???
He has also probably chosen to deal with her in his own way, which isn't wrong.....it takes two to tango. She is equally at fault as was your guy.
This does not take away from his actions toward you and playing the "I don't remember. I was drunk card". Just know....if they get away with it once, nothing is to stop them from trying again when they get the itch.