Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

F-Buddy!

hardtostay15
hardtostay15
My W cheated on me again!!! With a guy she calls a F Buddy! She's seen him a total of 5 times and to me that's 5 times too many. She says it's all just sex. When we have sex it's comprised of all these emotions and fixed up feelings. But when she has sex with this F Buddy, it free of everything but aggressive sex! I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to keep this together. Where do I go from here?

Nothing in my morals and beliefs say that this behavior is acceptable. Nowhere is this even a bandaid for things missing in our marriage. I don't want this anymore!!! I am falling down a hole and there is no end in sight.

Tell me this is purgatory for all the sins I've committed? Tell me that I've deserved this for my past wrong doings? WTF. I'm better than this.

Me
deleted_user
deleted_user
You say she cheated on u again??How many times has she done this??She says its just sex well its still cheatingiI agree with u 5 times is 5 times to many.It is not acceptable behavour at all from a wife.I dont belive for one minute that this happened for your sins that u have done.I do belive belief in karma but not in this way.Where do u go from here u ask???where do u want to go hun????
hardtostay15
hardtostay15
I really can't tell you where I want to go anymore. She's been with other men. And can't seem to stop. I'm really tired and almost numb to this entire relationship. We have a family together, but this is just ridiculous! Where do I go? The courthouse maybe? Who knows!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I totally understand hun.Ok a good start might be to talk to a counciller or a close friend anyone that can help u.A counciller would be best, would help put things in perspective for u.I can remember that stuck feeling and its hell on earth u love them so much but they do this not once but many times.Once u have spoke to someone then u can decide to try and work it out if she is willing although im doubful she will stop this behavour or to separate.U can always come talk to us here as well.We will help all we can.xxxxxx
hardtostay15
hardtostay15
It really helps to have friends that can relate. All my friends just tell me to kick her to the curb. Thank you for your advice Looyloo3.
hardtostay15
hardtostay15
...and I still may have to do that for my own sanity. I hate this whole marriage thing right now! People say one thing and do another!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You do not deserve this. Marriage is an agreement, a contract, with respect and honor and commitment. We all deserve to be respected by faithful spouses.

Here's the thing, you can't keep your marriage together on your own. She has to want to keep it together, too. And she obivously doesn't value you or your marriage. So why are you making yourself responsible for the entire marriage, when it takes two?

This isn't acceptable behavior from her. You need help setting boundaries with her and letting her be responsible for herself. You are not responsbile for her. You also cannot control her.

Do you have a counselor/therapist you can go to? Is she willing to go to a therapist?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your friends are right hun.But its easier said then done.Also u have to be in the situation to understand it.So if friends not been there they wont get it.Michelle is so right in what she says about boundries needing setting and u cannot work on this marrige alone.Try and see a counciller to unravel all the jumble in your head and take it from there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You have smart friends.

She calls the dude a "fuck buddy"? To your face?

You don't get "Fuck Buddies" when you get married.

Dump her trifling ass.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Agree with Dab. Divorce her.
Lstecker
Lstecker
'the courthouse maybe?'

Maybe?

Oh, most definitely.

Did she forget that f buddies aren't part of the vows or what?

L~
Blindsidedagain
Blindsidedagain
Affairs are painful enough.

Your wife telling you she has a F buddy, is simply abusive.

She is completely disrespecting you and your marriage.

Unless she has an addressable mental issue, I think you should plan for divorce.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My advise to you would be to take the advise YOU would give to your best friend if they were in your current position... That's what I did and how I finally worked up the courage to leave my Husband... I love my husband and didn't want to leave him, but he didn't leave me any choices and, quite frankly, it doesn't sound like your wife is leaving you with any choices either.... The fact that she doesn't understand having F buddies is wrong while she's married, is just sad...

I am so sorry you are going through this, I wish you well...
Karen
dody
dody
Hard

Stop the madness! Enough already!

Never make someone a priority when they make you the option!

Sounds like you've been the option for a long time.

Sorry for your pain! It is like no other!

You and you alone can put a end to this non-sense! Don't let her take any more of your precious time.

Prayers for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Any spouse who'd throw that information about as if it's comparable to what food you like, what you do for work, or how much you like to read Tom Clancy novels is as self-centered, mean-spirited as they come. I agree with DAB. Shove that poop right out the door. You DO DESERVE BETTER!

-TheRule
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have to agree with most on here. She is very insensitive and not very concerned for your feelings. Sorry about all this, but unless she has a quick turnaround, this will not end the way you will like.