Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
For those of you who have been cheated on in the past, do you ever get over it and move on? Were you able to live your live? My so called "boyfriend" has betrayed me in sooooooo many ways. He is cheating on me as we speak and of course thinks he has a good excuse for it. But i am too afraid to leave him. I loved him more than anything. I am only 18 yrs old (he is 24) but it feels like he is my other half. We have been together for 3 yrs and i can't imagine myself without him. I feel really stupid. I don't think it is that I am young, I was (am) truly in love with him. I try to think about the future and meeting someone that will treat me right, but it won't be the same. I honestly feel I will never love anyone the way I love him and the feeling just wont be the same with someone else. I dont know what to do. I know I should leave but am i always going to wish I was with him? Even yrs from now? Did any of you feel the same way.... but ended up moving on and finding someone else? Please any advice will help. I have been told many times that I need to just keep myself busy with school.... and I try but Ijust feel so drained from all this, sometimes I just dont have the energyy to do it!
I have been with my finace for 23 years.
Guess why we never got married!
In the first year we were together, she cheated on me. I was very devastated, but did not have the courage to leave her. Ten years later, we got engaged, she cheated on me during our engagement. That too, devastated me, but I did not have the courage to leave. I told her at that time that I would never marry her, but would stay with her. Ten years later (present), I asked her again to get married. Little did I know that she was having a 6 month long affair. Of course, she didn't tell me, I had to find out myself. So here I am, 23 years later, cheated on 3 times (that I know of), unmarried and ready to leave. I am sooooooo sorry that I did not leave her after the first cheating. Now it's so much harder to leave because we have so much time invested. It has been a year since I found out. I have sold an investment property and now I have to sell my house. It becomes so much more difficult to break up the longer you are together. You are so young and have a full life in front of you. Don't waste it with a cheater. Of course, it is your decision. We often choose mates for the wrong reasons due to infatuation. If being in a committed relationship is important to you, then move on.
It is so very difficult being in your shoes and I most certainly feel your pain. No one can you tell you what is right or wrong. Only you can be the judge of that and the decisions that you need to make.
I too was with a man (49 years old now) for 7 years who betrayed me several times. One time that I know of...many other instances that I could never quite put my finger on. But as women...we just know. I too struggled for many years...should I stay or should I go because of my love for him. Until one day, it just hit me that I was done. I just walked away...no explanations. Didn't feel he deserved that and didn't want to listen to what he had to say because he wasn't deserving of that from me. I too know that I will never love someone again as much as I loved him(and still do) but like everything else in life, it shall come to pass. Time heals all wounds....
You will love again...maybe not like you love your present boyfriend but trust me you will! Don't short change yourself or compromise who you are as a young woman. Life is just too short....all the best to you.
Melanie
It is so very difficult being in your shoes and I most certainly feel your pain. No one can you tell you what is right or wrong. Only you can be the judge of that and the decisions that you need to make.
I too was with a man (49 years old now) for 7 years who betrayed me several times. One time that I know of...many other instances that I could never quite put my finger on. But as women...we just know. I too struggled for many years...should I stay or should I go because of my love for him. Until one day, it just hit me that I was done. I just walked away...no explanations. Didn't feel he deserved that and didn't want to listen to what he had to say because he wasn't deserving of that from me. I too know that I will never love someone again as much as I loved him(and still do) but like everything else in life, it shall come to pass. Time heals all wounds....
You will love again...maybe not like you love your present boyfriend but trust me you will! Don't short change yourself or compromise who you are as a young woman. Life is just too short....all the best to you.
Take some advice from me and dump this guy before you marry him or have kids. You changed a great deal from the age of 15 to the age of 18 and you have more dramatic changes coming in the next few years. You will outgrow this man-boy in short order so let him go. I have to ask myself what kind of 21 year-old man would date a 15 year-old girl? It's not fair to you and it's borderline predatory for him.
I'm assuming he has cheated on you quite a few times. You know what maybe he keeps doing it because he knows you allow it. I don't mean that in a bad way what I mean is that he see's how much you love him and he thinks he can do what ever he wants because you will always be there. He's having his cake and eating it to, but your the one that is hurting and he's having all the fun. He's selfish and he sure isn't thinking of you. Take control of your life and show him that you will no longer put up with his escapades!! Good luck !!!!!
I would run in the other direction as fast as I could. He's not an honest, honorable or a decent man. You deserve that. If you could see the look in my children's eyes about what their father has done, you'd never want to put that look on your children's face someday. My kids are 25, 23, 21 and 18. Their worlds have been blown apart by a father that cheated.
You may always have some feelings for this man but you will one day have the same feelings for someone who deserves your love.
Your love is a precious gift and this man is not earning it.
Now you have learned the flags to watch for. I will never again spend time with a man who has poor ethics or lies. If he lies to other people then he probably lies to you too. We are both lucky to be able to get out before we married serial cheaters.
Please think about what everyone is saying here.
If you are thinking that 10 years from now you will be happily married to him with 2 kids and a dog in the yard, and that you will laugh about the time before you were married when he cheated on you, you are gravely mistaken.
Nothing will ever come of this relationship but pain for you. You are in pain now, and you are confused. Think about having a couple of children and feeling this way, but still having the responsibility of taking care of your children through it all.
You will love again, and it will be a more mature, grounded love.
Please let him go before he destroys your life and turns you into someone you don't want to be.
In all due honesty, it took me two years to be able to feel again. I had met a WONDERFUL guy who in retrospect, I should have fallen flat on my face for and I did not. I began to question if there was something wrong with me. However, I am starting to fall in love now with an amazing guy .. and it feels absolutely great, and this time, there is no guilt left inside of me. How odd that IIII had guilt in the first place. It is pushing out the window all those thoughts I used to have that told me that I would never get over my ex or love someone as much as him.
Dont let your head fool your heart or whichever way you want to look at it. YOU CAN meet someone and you CAN fall in love with someone again.
Please take it from me, I have been there. I was with my ex, thinking he was the love of my life. Cheating is abuse. I was abused and you are currently still being abused. period .
Get out now..... please.
The answer is no. If you are asking can you have a good relation ship after an affair? I think the answer is yes, but it dependes on a lot of things, like accepting that things will be different, patience on his part, working it out....But as long as he keeps doing it and you are not OK with it then I dont think it will be OK. I think one can get over loosing someone you love and who knows you might find someone you will love even more and he will treat you right and one day you will look back at this guy and think....good thing I left him. you never know, all I can say is think about yourself a little and ask yourself do I want to wake up when I am 40 and think I wasted all this time on him? My 1st H was abusive but I kept on telling myself I had to stay and stick it out because I loved him. I left and met H #2 and I fell in love even more. Now he hurt me to by having an A but he realized what he did wrong and is willing to work on the relationship. I am willing to give us a chance because I feel he truly wants to work on the relationship, if you dont have that then i dont know.....
Will you ever get over it? Do you really want to forget this with him?
All of these life experiences make us who we are. We take these lessons and decide what we want out of life and what we don't. If you want someone to treat you like a human being, leave now. This guy just won't do it.
There are many guys that I have kicked to the curb who treated me in a way that I said, "NOPE, never putting up with that from anyone..." SEEEEYA, LOSER!
You are getting some valuable life lessons right now. Take them and learn.
You say you love this guy to death. I need to tell you, you can love someone who is clearly BAD for you. Your love for him doesn't order you to stay. How many times have I heard "I love him, but cannot be with him...he is just too bad for me as an individual." You need to love yourself more than you love anyone. Don't accept this. If you accept this, of course he'll do it again. Because he can -- say he's sorry, act all feeling bad about it, be remorseful for a few weeks, buy you some flowers...and then do it again.
This guy needs to see you walking away...for good.
Love yourself more, honey...no one can live like this.
P.S. I quit college over a man whan I was 19. I am 38 now and busting my butt to finish my degree. STAY FOCUSED on school now. I know it's hard when you're dealing with emotional turmoil. I wish you the best, there is so much more out there for you.