The long and the short: Divorced guy who's ex had several long term affairs and have now been single a number of years. I have been in one serious relationship post divorce.
It took me a long time to get over my ex, while I was not blameless in the deterioration of the marriage, she was both unfaithful and untruthful. I was emotionally scarred for years, unable to trust anyone and picked up a crippling anxiety from dealing with her or seeing through her lies.
Fastforward to two weeks ago. At this point I was doing well, physically and emotionally. Though I had bouts of loneliness, I had established some new friends and I felt like I was in a good place.
For the sake of length and graphic detail I will summarize, but essentially I had marathon sex with my ex. Like a fly trapped in a web I accepted the initially innocent invitation, which led to it. Alcohol was of course involved.
Afterwards she wouldn't speak to me, then told me it would never happen again, which I was fine with, but I at least wanted to speak about it like adults. I felt manipulated like I was a test subject, just to see if she could still pull it off, then cast aside.
I now find myself back where I started, riddled with anxiety and I cannot stop thinking about her. I know it's my fault and I know I was weak, that doesn't make me feel any better. I will also add that the experience was definitely not healthy for either involved.
Has anyone else experienced this before? Going back to an unfaithful partner only to be cast away a second time. I am not sure what to do and am having trouble concentrating or enjoying anything and I feel like a complete jackass.
Thanks for listening.
I have been married for 11 years and have one child, we have been together since middle school and were each others first everything, first boyfriend/girlfriend, kiss, sex, everything, i thought what we had was soo special because we had something most everyone else didnt.... soo fast forward to 2018 and i could tell something was off, hardly any sex or intimacy and when we did it, it was like...
Now it's getting really hard. Made it through the toughest part of the day, but it's not going to be easy from here on out. Is there a period where this anxiety and cravings start to subside? Or is it different for everyone? I'm thinking 90 days. I've read about the AA 90 day challenge, going for that here.