What about you? Did you?

Yes I did and regret doing so.
However, that is how I confirmed the affair.

I caught them havinh sex

I did not. I don't put the blame on her. She didn't go after him. He went online looking for someone else and there is no telling what lies he told or buttons he pushed.
I did think about warning her what she was getting in to, but knew she would not believe me.

I confronted him without her knowing it, but i think he ran to her before
he replied
because 2 -3 days later he replied in text and gave me the exact same story, a month a later i received a discrete e-mail..shedding new details ect:

I wouldn't have done it unless I had to. My goal was to keep him as much out of our lives as possible, and contacting him would accomplish the opposite of that goal.

That said, I did confront him twice via email because he kept stalking my wife. Mainly to tell him to leave her alone. That happened in the first 3 months after dday. Considering what happened, I didn't attempt to tell him off, though it was tempting. I didn't want to get side tracked into other issues, but stayed focus on his attempts to contact her. Some of his comments in his replies invited some scathing responses, but I didn't return fire since he promised not to contact her.

Which he violated after several months...and thinks he got away with it, but didn't. I was very tempted to send him another email at that point to drive home the point Gabi was telling me everything, even though she promised him she wouldn't. Probably should have done it so he'd know he can't trust her. But I was more focused on how Gabi responded to his surprise phone call and hoping he'd call again to see if she'd handle it the right way. That was a year ago, and so far he's not made another attempt.

But March is when their relationship started back in 2010, so we could be due for another attempt unless he's finally found himself another victim and is moving on.

No, I didn't really. I sent her a message on facebook to stay away. Never heard a reply and then I blocked her. He closed his account.

I emailed her, she lied and said how sorry she was while continuing to chase my H. I should have just talked directly with her H. It probably would have put an end to her intrusions much sooner.

I confronted her and told her husband.

Nope, don't regret it at all.

I had a couple really brief interactions. Early on when I found out about their reconnection on line and it was supposedly over, I asked him to respect our marriage and get rid of some of the evidence.

When this did not happen and I later wrote to him and told him he could have her and wished them well.

That one was the more powerful of the two. It really messed with their little secret affair world.

Mine is complicated in that I don't have iron clad proof as to who it is
My lovely wife only tells me what I already know
It is complicated because we have 2 kids, very small town, wifes profession makes her well known, same with who I think it is.

So ...
I would like him to know that I don't hide my name - what I do , I don't slink in the shadows , I never gave women secrets that they needed to hide as in what my wife and he are doing and hiding it from my kids

Also the subject question to confront the other man/woman....
A creature that cheats , adulterizes, and is a partner in infidelity is not a man..... Such a creature is a walking piece of shit

I ask my wife to pass that along to him from me but I get no feedback

I ask my wife if she wants our son to be a sneaky POS and make secrets like her mr wonderful...
Pretty fffffing sad

I tried to call her when I first found out because her number came up on our phone bill repeatedly. I left a message with no return. Now this many years later and they are still together, I have not once met her or seen her. It was ultimately my ex's choice to cheat, not hers, but once she found out he was married with kids, it was then her indiscretions to stay with him.

If I ever do see her (which will happen as the kids are older now) I will politely say to her "may you be blessed with all the lying, cheating and gambling I put up with for 26 years". She can have him!

Good luck. I don't know what the answers are and which way is best to go. It sucks all the way around.

I want too but i'm scared too.

I sent her one message on Facebook not knowing if she could even read English. Knowing she pursued him, left her man once she was sure she had mine locked in, it's easy to see she is nothing and not worth my time. She knew about me all along and did her thing anyway. I only told her that I hoped one day her heart would feel as mine does, but it won't because she doesn't have one. Just another selfish person who doesn't care who she hurts. Heck she took her 13 year old son from his father his friends family and country! He is not I. School which means he will lose a grade, a woman who does that to her own son is not anyone you could ever make feel bad.

she was my friend and he my husband, we are working our asses off to stay together and I have never confronted her. She pretty much went off the deep end once he disclosed everything to me and ended it with her so I was very scared for a very long time. I am no longer scared of her coming after me or threatening me but now I fear simply running into her and what will happen? We still live in the same town and I've run into her daughter that I use to provide childcare for but never her yet and sometimes I am tempted to show up where I know she will be so I can just get it over with and move on. I waffle back and forth daily still with this but I know that since she has finally stopped harassing us I don't want to wake the beast :) so for now....no, I have never confronted her, not thru email, text, face to face. Not on a plane, not on a train :)