it's pretty simple,
can't or won't?

if you just can't because you are a spinless fuck, then be man enough to tell her so she can break up with you

if you just won't, then decide to either be a man and stop making it all about you're immature sissy self or tell her that you matter much much much more to yourself then she does


and if you are flirting, you are cheating

"Trust her with your honesty"???? You must be kidding. Exercise some self control. Stay at home so the only woman to flirt with is your wife.

My STBX was (is) the quintessential flirt. My love and devotion wasn't enough. It made me feel like shit. Congratulations. You've accomplished the same thing with your significant other.

Wow. There are some really harsh opinions. And angry people on here.
Where is the love and gentle kind words?
Why so much aggression??
Maybe it's not aggression Maybe my post ignites this reaction and some folks need to react in a tone of aggressiveness.

It's not aggression but its an honest reaction to what looks like real selfishness. And it hurts to have someone you love shower sexual attention on someone else.

So, I will give you credit for reaching out for help to be more honest, BTW, I am from Philly.

Most people flirt. Why? Because its nice to know we still got it. If you do it enough to cause problems at home, then there is probably more of a reason than just seeing if you can still turn a head. Do you feel ignored? Unappreciated? Disconnected? Is life with your significant other boring? If any of these things are true, you should try to talk to her about them in an unaccusing way. Perhaps suggest some different things to do.

Are there things about yourself you're not happy about? Are you trying to bolster your self esteem by flirting and you don't want to admit it, so you lie?

One final thing. Sometimes harshness is the most helpful thing you can do for some one. If nothing else, it gets them to stop and think. So don't conclude there is no help to be found here. You just don't get fake here.

where is your love and gentleness for your significant other?
you choose to deceive her, to lie to her.
you choose to betray and hurt her.

your actions are those of a spineless, self-centered pussy.
and you take offense, hmmm yep you are just a little douche-bag inside

can't or won't

which is it?

lash out at being called out (close to the bone, that's why)

Thank you so much song bird. I agree with lots of what you wrote.
I know there are things about myself I'm not happy about. And I'm definitely trying to bolster my self esteem. I'm lying because I'm in denial about it all so it's causing me to lie. And I do love harsh and in your face honesty. I agree in it is helpfulness.
Where in Philly are you?
I live in South Philly

yo, classic,
flirt on-line, hmmm so you'll ask songbird to be your friend and you can ask about running up the art museum steps, drinking wudder, wiz on a cheesesteak, the same shit you ask your significant other,

The problem is u post on the wrong forum. There is a forum called cheaters anonomous. U must realize that this forum ur posting on is to support people who have been cheated on or people who have cheated and show true remorse and want help. You are neither based on ur post. Ur post is a trigger for us people who are intensely hurt by the betrayal of our partners. That is why u get those honest answers that u call aggressive but they come from the heart. Cause that's what it is we are honest because we are on the other side on the side of ur girlfriend!
So I agree with the others that u need to put on ur big boy pants and make a decision either u love ur girlfriend and u get honest with her AND GO IN THERAPY U OBVIOUSLY NEED THAT! Or u realize u can't control ur hurtful urges and be honest and tell her so she can find a guy who actually respects her. Or u remain the douchebag u currently are and keep lying untill u have broken down ur girlfriends self esteem to the ground and her trust in man is ruined forever BECAUSE THATS WHAT UR BEHAVIOUR IS DOING WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT PLEASE!
Get therapy u can't get out of this alone. And please post on the cheaters anonomous instead of here if u can't handle the truth from us

I don't live there. I am from there.

Yes, you are on the wrong forum.

And you're right, refurb, the guy can't help himself.

Anything you do or say away from your partner that you wouldn't do or say in front of your partner is dishonest, a lie...and a choice that you make. You said she finds out anyway, so she already knows you're a liar. The question is whether or not she will continue to want to be with a liar. You can always choose to tell the truth in any situation. The decision tree is really this simple: lie or tell the truth.