Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I've spent so much time trying to understand the psychology of my feelings and why after two years I still can't get back to "normal".
I often felt immature and small minded for not being able to come to terms with my wife's infidelity and forgive her even though she's done all the right things since d-day in terms of remorse, transparency etc.
I'm exhausted and fed up with obsessive thoughts of revenge towards the OM.
So I started focusing more on the biology behind it all. Why do I feel this way? Is this normal or am I just pathetic? How do others rise above it all?
So I did some research; one article lead to another. Then yesterday I came across a book that really helped me in an odd and unexpected way.
It's not for everybody but I thought I'd share it with my DS friends.
Check out "The Origins of Emotions".
Scroll down to chapters on Heartbreak, Jealousy, Adulterous Guilt, Revenge...
I hope it helps.
http://books.google.com/books?id=yJiJS--AluMC&printsec=frontcover&dq=the+origin+of+emotions&source=bl&ots=dcZJUcEEw2&sig=4174C530AJfB0UBtSuHHIUxJyMg&hl=en&ei=gwRSTaTUBcrcgQf2kPTbCA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&ved=0CEMQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q&f=true
I often felt immature and small minded for not being able to come to terms with my wife's infidelity and forgive her even though she's done all the right things since d-day in terms of remorse, transparency etc.
I'm exhausted and fed up with obsessive thoughts of revenge towards the OM.
So I started focusing more on the biology behind it all. Why do I feel this way? Is this normal or am I just pathetic? How do others rise above it all?
So I did some research; one article lead to another. Then yesterday I came across a book that really helped me in an odd and unexpected way.
It's not for everybody but I thought I'd share it with my DS friends.
Check out "The Origins of Emotions".
Scroll down to chapters on Heartbreak, Jealousy, Adulterous Guilt, Revenge...
I hope it helps.
http://books.google.com/books?id=yJiJS--AluMC&printsec=frontcover&dq=the+origin+of+emotions&source=bl&ots=dcZJUcEEw2&sig=4174C530AJfB0UBtSuHHIUxJyMg&hl=en&ei=gwRSTaTUBcrcgQf2kPTbCA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&ved=0CEMQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q&f=true
I guess I'm doing as well as many others on this site. Good days and bad...I keep a lot locked up inside just to keep the peace. It really amazes me that I still think about this so much after so long.
I recall that our situations were very much the same in terms of the number of years married, length of the affair etc. I believe the OM is originally from your hometown and graduated from WHRHS.
I wish he would go away but unfortunately our paths do cross from time to time. That really keeps all this crap alive for me...knowing that he's still so close by. One day he drove past me and had the audacity to wave at me with a big grin on his face. This guy is such an asshole I can't believe my wife wanted aything to do with him. I thought she was better than that. It sucks losing respect for your spouce.
Anyway, she's an interior designer and unfortunately now she's doing a job in a house a couple of doors away from his. It's eating me up. He's semi-retired and home all day and is bound to see her there. I'd tell her not to take the job but in this economy she needs the business.
I always wonder what would happen if their paths were to cross if nobody was around. Would they run into each others arms or would they just walk away? I honestly can't see them, after being so intimate (6 hotels!), just ignoring each other.
Does your husband still come in contact with the OW or is she completely out of the picture?
Eventually, I just had to suck it up and stand up for myself. Otherwise, I don't think a damn thing ever would have changed.