Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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GiveMeWings 12/04/2007

I have a very close friend who is having extra marital relations. Sara has been married for nearly 15 years to a good man who takes good care of her. She has wonderful kids. I have spoken with her about her tendencies and how it concerns me that she continues to find herself in these situations. She has helped me in some particularly tough times in my life, and I love her dearly. I have discussed with her the idea of seeking personal counceling (rather then marital) as I feel she is attempting to fill a void of some sort. I know her husband well, and while I am not 'walking in her shoes' it is clear that he is caring, trusting, a good provider, honest, loving, etc, etc. Not to mention he is my friend as well. Each time she has an encounter she shares with me the details. And each time I worry for her future. I know if he were to find out he would likely consider walking away from the marraige as he has dealt with her on again off again anticks, and his disapproval of an open marriage. I no longer know what to do. He and I work together and I have to see him daily and it gets increasingly harder for me. I am a loyal friend to her. At the same time I feel very uncomfrtable being in the middle. I am not sure what to do next. She is gone for a week now and I have tried reaching her to tell her dont do this. . . Any advice on what to do/not to do, what to say to her....?

jimmysquirrel 12/04/2007

what will help you to look in the mirror again with a clean conscience?
and then you have your answer
when between a rock and a hard place you have to do what you have to do... and only by doing the right thing can you truly be free from that conundrum

deleted_user 12/04/2007

Tell her you love her enough to let her go. Tell her you love her so much you are willing to give up your friendship rather than be a consenting party to her destroying her life and her family's.

Help her find her rock bottom. Offer to take her to counseling...if she refuses it will ruin your dynamic and I think eventually when the H finds out...you will lose him as a friend too.

Good luck,
Jax

deleted_user 12/04/2007

give I bumped up a post on when does it stop hurting...it is all about the pain of infidelity maybe if she sees the pain it can cause it will help her stop

GiveMeWings 12/04/2007

Thanks lost. I will check that out.

deleted_user 12/04/2007

It's not fair to put you in this situation. You should not be in the middle. Get out of the middle of this. I would tell her that if she continues, I would have to tell her husband because you care about how this is going to affect him and it's not fair. It's not fair that you know about this and he doesn't. He has every right to know.

Thriver 12/04/2007

You're in a tough place. There is no easy solution. I would let the friend go. It is not for you to tell the husband, but at least do not be a party to the deception. You may not be the one cheating, but you are lying. At least by omission.
I agree that if she could come up to DS and just read (not post, she'll get flamed), it may wake her up.
If the husband finds out, and finds out that you knew, it will only increase his pain. If you take a stand now, at least you have a chance of being friends with one or both o them after it hits the fan.

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