Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I never understood the need for the OW to out the H , espiecally 1. if she new he was married from the beginning 2. or if she didnt, , why didnt she just walk away, these are just random questions I've pondered for years since finding out about my own Husbands cheating. The Sandra Bullock case where the circus freak needed to make a bad situation worse, Ive heard all kinds of answers, read all I could find on cheating , the other woman ..... etc.. it wasn'tt until I found out about somenoe close to me who busted up another friends marriage, I made a flip comment about "Why did she do that, why didnt she just disappear when she found out Jesse James was lying to her, " speaking of Machelle McCGhee,"WHy did she feel the need to tell "HER SIDE" of the story,, and my friend retorted 'I dont blame her ,why should he go back to his wife and be happy and I sit here miserable and used " is that what it boils down to ,revenge? I told my friend you got involved with a married man, what did you expect? ( I didnt know any of this till I was dragged into it) I told her all the stuff he told her was lies.
It was such an odd experience for me, the whole time I was reeling from my H's A< and my friend helped me through it ,she was doing this to someone else.here we were /are Best friends for 20 plus years, divided, I being spouse who was cheated on and she the OW, no she didnt sleep with my H, we locked horns, not matter how many times i told he 'hes not going to leave his wife for you, she said well if he didnt she would make it miserable on both of them, then started the FB/MySpace/Email war. I watched my friend go from a kind intelligent gentile woman, to someone I didnt even know anymore, even stooping to fabricating photos, I felt at times I was in a Lifetime movie. She was driving the wife into a nervous breakdown, and in my own case my H ow tried to do the same thing, but sending me emails and leaving voicemails talking about what they had done together. Then one night while we were out , at a concert, we'd been drinking and she made a omission to me, by this time she had backed off considerable , prollyl b/c I wouldnt let up on her and threatened to end our friendship over it ,she told me it became more of a game to her, she didnt really love him, she just didnt like the fact that he blew her off and kicked her to the curb once his wife found out ,this goes back to when we were in HS,, she never been dumped before, And My H OW said the same thing, she was mad b/c she got kicked to the curb, so its just a game to these people? the thrill of the hunt? And our friendship has never been the same,
It was such an odd experience for me, the whole time I was reeling from my H's A< and my friend helped me through it ,she was doing this to someone else.here we were /are Best friends for 20 plus years, divided, I being spouse who was cheated on and she the OW, no she didnt sleep with my H, we locked horns, not matter how many times i told he 'hes not going to leave his wife for you, she said well if he didnt she would make it miserable on both of them, then started the FB/MySpace/Email war. I watched my friend go from a kind intelligent gentile woman, to someone I didnt even know anymore, even stooping to fabricating photos, I felt at times I was in a Lifetime movie. She was driving the wife into a nervous breakdown, and in my own case my H ow tried to do the same thing, but sending me emails and leaving voicemails talking about what they had done together. Then one night while we were out , at a concert, we'd been drinking and she made a omission to me, by this time she had backed off considerable , prollyl b/c I wouldnt let up on her and threatened to end our friendship over it ,she told me it became more of a game to her, she didnt really love him, she just didnt like the fact that he blew her off and kicked her to the curb once his wife found out ,this goes back to when we were in HS,, she never been dumped before, And My H OW said the same thing, she was mad b/c she got kicked to the curb, so its just a game to these people? the thrill of the hunt? And our friendship has never been the same,
If a man says, 'yeah, we had a good time and all, and I do CARE for you, but I ain't gonna leave my woman for YOU' well, that is a pretty good rejection. It says...
...'you were nothing but a piece of meat to me. Sorry.'
And people dont react well to that. So, they turn around and think, 'you made my life hell? I'll make yours hell too.' Then it turns into Game On.
It's 'you don't WANT ME? I'll make you regret it.'
Yup, it's twisted as all hell. Very undignified. Very swilling around in the mud. All of that.
...but then again, so is screwing someone else's man...
YOu know...AND...some women DELIGHT in stealing men away from someone else. They love it. They love it so much so they have to broadcast it...they are proud of doing it. 'Honey, I stole her man. That one? I had him for a night - and she'll never know...' Still very twisted and deeply troubled.
Women can be women's own worst enemy.
Sending you support and maybe this could be your answer.
L~
It's not right I know - it makes no sense for the OW to be concerned on any level - but not all of them are in it to be malicious. The two that I am speaking of had no idea of the marriage.
One of them did tell the W - and did not get any response - the other one stayed schtum. No right or wrong answers on that one.
I've never personally experienced an OW playing a malicious game just for the hell of it. Oh - except in my case of course - and she can burn in hell.
She confronted my husband in front of our son at his Boy Scout meeting. She did the old "if you don't tell her, I will"... She called me and asked me if I was aware that my husband didn't love me, he loved her. (He had been quite clear to me, but I didn't give her the satisfaction.) She brought me a box of all the stuff he had given her in the 2 year affair. She was a piece of work.
I used everything in my tool box to make her look like the idiot she was...and as she became needy, desperate, bitchy, unpleasant, she dimmed in my husband's affection. And as I sat there looking sane and attacked, I regained his affection (for all thats worth).
Anyway. Men cheat to get away from responsibility and to have fun...to "feel alive" is what they love to say. When the OW turns into a controlling, aggressive, crazy, they tend to run away.
We fought over a lying, cheating man....and lucky me. I won.
That is not the situation that I am talking about when I am talking about the revenge thing at all! To put it plainly there are some OW that are just freaking EVIL and I have one of those in my life. She cares about NO ONE but herself and should be getting in-patient psychiatric help!!!
I did finally get fed up and tell them both to go jump off a cliff! I told her she was really being mislead and had from the start. If she was happy in a relationship with a man that had lied to her every step of the way..more power to her. I also told her that while he was able to give her the impression he had plenty of money all this time and she thought he was going to rescue her and her 3 kids (she lived with her mom) that it was yet another lie. The money was mine and he has now been cut off! I had to...I moved every dime we had into my personal account that he had no access to! I set myself free from them both, but I felt sorry for her!
Now, the OW that my h slept with only the one time (and yes, I have actual written documentation of this from HER) SHE is the freaking NUT and psycho from HELL! I have no pity for her at all and honestly dont think there is enough sun block in this world to protect her from her fate in the hereafter!
People get mixed up in who they are when they are with someone else. When some one else is their focus. They dont focus on who they are and what they want or even their purpose for being on earth in the first place. They focus on how good things feel around them. If they feel especially good around a particular person, they like to be around that person. Sometimes they make a vow, before God, in a church, that what they have will last forever. Sometimes they make a vow, before God, in a church, because they had to.
I never got married because I had to. I married 3 times for love. I never cheated on any man I was married to. No man I was married to dislikes me or wouldnt re-marry me. I am not with them because, though I still love them, there is a point to draw the line and walk away. It may not be clearly defined in the Bible but, some things dont work.
I dont know why you got married or why you had another baby and stayed married. I dont know you at all but I think your life would be better served alone or with a different man. The one you are with, no matter what it was one time documentation you have, has broken you spine.
There have been two ow that were in two SEPARATE marriages or did you miss where I said I left my EX.
Im not sure if you just skimmed on over it all and read only what you wanted to read out of it but I can assure you of one thing. Those that DO actually READ what I write would never describe me as a NUT unless it was in a loving and joking manor!
But hey...why not just assume the worst about someone when you want to be "helpful" right?