Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hello all, like everyone I'm shocked Imhere posting this. I just need some solidarity. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 years old. We have been married 26 years this Valentine's Day and I have found out he had a sexual affair with a women he meet while at work (not a co worker). Im a SAHM and our kids range from 10-28 years old. Our older 2 are in college and we have 2 graduated from college. The minor kids and the college kids still live at home. When I discovered the affair, he said "he loved me but wasn't in love with me" this is a man who repeatedly texted and call ME all day the last 30 years profusing his undying love for me. We had sex 1-2 a week. Called me beautiful all the time. Right up until the minute I figured it out. The manipulation is what it so scary. I immediately told him to leave which he did. We have never been apart. He went to his dads and continued to call this married woman. I contacted her husband who was in shock. This woman for context has had felony charges, and looks like a criminal. The absolute opposite of me. It was very interesting to see what he gave his family up for. Like normal within 2 days he was begging to come home claiming he was going to commit suicide. He is the sole bread winner for our family. I gave up College and a career for him to have his. With the cost of life right now I couldn't afford our house and bills without him. I let him come back home and as far as I can tell he has not contacted this felon. And acting like he always has, super in love with me and our life. He is very remorseful but it's almost like he is living in a fantasy world that our lives are just back to normal meanwhile I'm devastated. I have to pretend like everything is ok because the kids were destroyed and I don't want constant fighting in the house. My plan is to get educated, secure a good job and a nest egg. Do marriages survive this? How do I even live with him? The idea my life has been destroyed is mind numbing. I literally can't believe this. Thanks for reading.
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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I know this is stupid, but after not being able to find a job after graduation for almost two years, I ended up just taking an online teaching job because I couldn't find anything in my field. I was trying to get out of teaching and I feel so devastated. I felt this crushing feeling when I signed the paperwork and when I was in the meetings. I know that sounds so dramatic but it is how I felt. It...
I do want to encourage you to go to a good family law attorney now and find out your rights and obligations in your area. He would have to pay child support and in my state it’s mandatory and fairly generous. Yes, you might have to move the kids but that is better sometimes. Also get yourself tested for STIs. Your doctor has heard this type of story before. I had to go get tested myself and was embarrassed but my doctor showed no emotion and I realized I was not the first wife asking for STI testing, even HIV testing.
Also, please get on YouTube and watch Dr Ramani about narcissism and see if it even fits your husband. Can’t diagnose him but if it fits, you need to know how to deal with him better. Hugs to you!
Sometimes, couples that get together young, one of them is curious "what they missed out on" and is the grass greener on the other side. They *think* they have missed out on something.... I know... it's weird thinking, but I have heard this story before. And her being a felon? Just adds to the danger and excitement that he wanted. And if he was so bored with HIS life, he should have turned toward you, not away from you.
@hasty's post above is right. See an attorney so you can be prepared. I would also strongly suggest that you see a therapist. Being cheated on, and blindsided too, is a trauma. You need someone you can talk to, who you can tell anything and everything to.
If he is open to it, hopefully, marriage counseling for the two of you would also be helpful. But, at least do therapy for yourself. It will really help.
No, nothing is okay now. So don't let him think you will just get over this anytime soon. It could take years, maybe never. You were hugely betrayed and you have a lot to process and think about. Don't let him push you into being over this anytime soon. You take all the time you need.
You are not alone. I'm sorry you have to even deal with this. It's not your fault at all. None of it.
Also, just a consideration...you can ask him to live elsewhere for a period of time. Your fight or flight response (an affair can be considered a PTSD triggering event) will be hard to come down from while he is in the same house.
Last, you are not alone. Please continue to reach out on DS if you need to talk or ask questions.
I understand that flight or fight thing and feeling like now we are stuck in one cycle the f or f thing. Nothing will be the same sometimes.