Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I am a father of two beautiful kids. About a year ago, found out my wife had chemistry with another man thru her email, who is the father of my son's buddy at school. I was mad and upset (didn't throw any temper though), my wife asked and eventually we talked and she admitted they had chemistry for each other. She was remorseful about it and we were very nice to each other, we gave each other more intimacies...I bought her flowers, chocolates....I though this was over.
Then for about one month, I realised she was still secretly initating contacts with him, even she deleted her emails with him, I could still retrieved them and know that they are getting closer and closer emotionally. This lasted about two months, I always hoped, the relationship will go away but it's not. In JUly, I again was mad and this time she confronted me...saying they were just friends, and got upset at me. If it's just friend, why can't she let me read their emails, at that time, their emails alrady show "special feelings" for each other.
I tried to forgive, set aside my feekings and get by...took the family on vacations, twice, but meanwhile she changed her email password. Again, I know they must be developing something, other wise she wouldn't change her email passwords. Later on, I actually found out she is using gmail instead of her regular hotmail. I tried to tell myself to trust her...maybe she is not using these emails to communicate with that guy. During this time, I wasn't mad at all, took the family for several more outings.
Finally in october, I saw an email she forgot to delete from ther other man with explicit wordings,and she actually declared "I love you" to that guy...I was so disappointed. We talked about it again, I made it clear I cannot tolerate this any longer. She said she would try?? I bugged her phone, and heard she and the cheating guy were crying painfull assuming they know they must stop their infidelity for the sake of the kids of both families. I also heard the way my wife talked to him was just like a lover went on a first date...I was so heart-breaking, angry, looking at the picture my beautiful daughter drew of my whole family, I cried the first time since my dad passed away.
Up to this point, they are still secretly seeing each other , while each of their spouses have to work to support the families, they are still commnicate with each other on a daily basis (I don't know what's the contents unless she forgot to delete).
I feel the trust is totally broken, she makes it seems like she is doing me a flavour by trying not to see this guy!!!!! I really want a divorce, but looking in the eyes of my kids, I don;t know!!!!!!
Help please!!
Then for about one month, I realised she was still secretly initating contacts with him, even she deleted her emails with him, I could still retrieved them and know that they are getting closer and closer emotionally. This lasted about two months, I always hoped, the relationship will go away but it's not. In JUly, I again was mad and this time she confronted me...saying they were just friends, and got upset at me. If it's just friend, why can't she let me read their emails, at that time, their emails alrady show "special feelings" for each other.
I tried to forgive, set aside my feekings and get by...took the family on vacations, twice, but meanwhile she changed her email password. Again, I know they must be developing something, other wise she wouldn't change her email passwords. Later on, I actually found out she is using gmail instead of her regular hotmail. I tried to tell myself to trust her...maybe she is not using these emails to communicate with that guy. During this time, I wasn't mad at all, took the family for several more outings.
Finally in october, I saw an email she forgot to delete from ther other man with explicit wordings,and she actually declared "I love you" to that guy...I was so disappointed. We talked about it again, I made it clear I cannot tolerate this any longer. She said she would try?? I bugged her phone, and heard she and the cheating guy were crying painfull assuming they know they must stop their infidelity for the sake of the kids of both families. I also heard the way my wife talked to him was just like a lover went on a first date...I was so heart-breaking, angry, looking at the picture my beautiful daughter drew of my whole family, I cried the first time since my dad passed away.
Up to this point, they are still secretly seeing each other , while each of their spouses have to work to support the families, they are still commnicate with each other on a daily basis (I don't know what's the contents unless she forgot to delete).
I feel the trust is totally broken, she makes it seems like she is doing me a flavour by trying not to see this guy!!!!! I really want a divorce, but looking in the eyes of my kids, I don;t know!!!!!!
Help please!!
yes, the cheater man is married too. He is the father of my son's buddy. My son used to play with his son after school in he playground all the time...they still do. When the kids are playing everyday after school, they sit and talk and that's how it all started. Initially, I did not want to act too sensitive and jealoous by prohibiting my son to play with his son. Afterall, I am working, it's out of my control. Eventually, recently, I did tell her both kids should not play together, and they did not play together as often....but my CS and the other guy still email each other, and see each other almost every day!! too late for me goingtobeok, I'll seek an attorney asap!!
Your wife will be PISSED at you for a while, but will see you as a man taking care of business in short order.
Do not tell your wife first. He will tell the OM and they will concoct some story about your being some crazy, paranoid, control freak.
Do it tonight!
Do not let them hatch this plan according to their secret time line. You get to drive it by contacting his wife. Go over there right now if your calm enough.
Then sit back, grab some popcorn, and watch the fireworks as this piece of shit negotiated the mess he created.
My only hope is that by the time your wife starts to see things clearly again, you still have enough give a damn left about her to want to rebuild!
OK, over and out. Take care.
Keep us updated.
You said "" Goingtobeok I wish this could work in my case but the OM's wife knows hes a cheater and he beats her so im sure she would never bring this up to him, Ive thought about doing this but what if i do and she does confront him and he beats the hell out of her...I would feel so guilty. "
1- how do you know this to be true?
2- any consequences of her living with an abuser are would be no more your fault than they are the Dallas Cowboys fault when a piece of shit husband takes out his frustration over their losing on his wife.
3- what if you communication were just what she needed to finally leave him and seek a better life?
Also, over at survivinginfidelity.com there is a huge multi-paged thread called Honey they always affair down, about how, by and large, the person your spouse has an affair with is is downgrade in character, looks, etc, than you are. I know, it makes no sense.