Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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touchy subject-not meant to offend

WinniePoo
WinniePoo
This discussion is not meant to offend anyone and if it does you have my heartfelt appologies. My RE discussed with us selective reduction if were to get pregnant with too many. DH and I have been talking about it ever since trying to decide how we would feel about it. Would it depend on how many? We just don't know. We keep going back and forth and can come up with pros and cons for both sides of the arguement. I was wondering what your thoughts were on this. Of all the infertility decisions we would have to make this seems so far to be the MOST deficult and heart breaking and we are not even faces with the decision yet. Our RE suggests that anything over 2 so 3 or more should be reduced down to 2. And that if we decide in advance that we would be ok with it then we could continue on with any cycle no matter how many follicles were produced, but that if we decided we were not ok with it anything more than 4 follicles and he would cancel the cycle. We are praying on this for the right answer...or I should say the answer that is right for us. I just want to hear some input outside of the 2 of us...and I want to hear it all....for and against...I only ask one thing....please don't anyone start yelling and fighting and name calling over this....this is not meant to be that kind of discussion....if you can't handle it please just move on. thank you all for your patience and understanding. your thoughts really mean the world to me right now
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with the other ladies; this is a decision that only you and your DH could make. My DH and I were in this situation with our last cycle - I had overstimulated and produced too many eggs (in my RE's opinion), and he advised us not to continue with the cycle - but did tell us that if we wanted to trigger, we could. Well, DH and I already knew that we were willing to take that risk - under the assumption that God would not give us more than we could handle. (We were using Follistim, with HcG trigger - no IUI or IVF - doing it the "old fashioned" way.) We ended up with a bfn anyway. I think it all depends on each couple's situation - but if my DH and I are ever in the same situation again, without a doubt, we'd go for it! Good luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i always thought that because of my age it would be very dangerous for me to try to carry more than 2 babies. i really only wanted one but once i saw those pics of the 2 embryos they put back in me i wanted them both.i would have to think really hard about more than two as i would hate to leave this world and never get to hold my babies and leave my DH with more than he can handel alone.i hope i never have to make this decision but you have to keep it in the back of your mind "just in case"
deleted_user
deleted_user
are you talking about doing IVF or IUI. either way i think multiples are the risk you have to take and in doing so you have to accept that fact. i personally would never ever ever consider selective reduction and if i end up pg with one or 12 thats how many i will carry to term. if you are doing IVF then it is the RE's resposiblitly to keep you safe first and foremost and pregnant second so they should never implant more then 2 embys.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We discussed this at length with our RE as well, and went into our IVF treatment knowing very well what we would do. I am 42, so my chances of higher order multiples were much lower, but we still felt the need to discuss it before proceeding. We had agreed to put back as many as four embryos (as it turned out, we only had three, and ended up with a singleton pregnancy). We would have been happy with twins, even though the risks to the babies were slightly higher. With triplets or above, however, we felt that the risks of a high-order pregnancy and bad outcomes for the babies with prematurity and complications thereof were too high, and had already decided we would perform selective reduction in that case. I think this is a very personal decision, and in the end it would have been hard for me regardless, but I still would have done it for the benefit of the babies. It isn't a matter of money for us -- we could *afford* more, we just couldn't deal with the high risk that all of the babies would potentially not survivie, or be developmentally or physically disabled. We had also decided that if we ended up having to do selective reduction, that we would travel to New York to have it done, where the pioneer in the field practices. His extensive experience reduces the risk of losing the entire pregnancy.

Good luck with your decision.
turtlegirl
turtlegirl
I guess I am not far enough along in the process to know that this would even be possible. I know that I would be okay with twins, but my husband really freaks at the idea of more than one - ever. And part of me only wants the one too.
I think that my husband would be all for this, but I think it would be harder for me once they were in there. However, I know that there is such risk with carrying multiples. A colleague's daughter recently lost two of three babies she was carrying. She lost them at birth so there were three of everything including a stroller for triplets. That to me would be much more devastating that reducing the number at the beginning.

Given the chance for multiples, we decided early on that if we ever get to IVF we will only put in two.

I am glad that you posted this. This is the perfect place to talk about this stuff! We need to hear from other people and it is not like you can bring this stuff up with colleagues at work or at Easter dinner!
WinniePoo
WinniePoo
I want to thank all of your for your responses. Yes ultimately it is a personal decision between DH and I, but it is good to hear opinions from both sides of the spectrum sometimes....just to be able to have a starting off point for discussions themselves. I really do appreciate your thoughts. We talked for many hours into the night last night and have come up with a decision that will suit us. I think the urgency behind this was because I was taking Prometrium to start AF and Mother Nature decided that she was going to make me start sooner rather than later. I go in for my first u/s on wednesday to start the process of IUI. There is great risk for high multiples in case since we have many factors. My body responds extremely well to Clomid which is the first drug I will be taking, then with the Follistim and a trigger shot and with the fact that I'm just now coming up on 28yrs old, my RE thinks there is a high risk. Again thank you all for your thoughts and prayers
deleted_user
deleted_user
This just came up with a friend of mine. Her sister is pregnant with 5. The doctor wants her to reduce by 2 or 3. Her DH is pressuring her to go down to 2 and she just doesn't know.

I spoke to my DH and we both agreed this would be the most difficult decision faced with- especially since we waited so long to get pregnant and with fertility.

I have to tell you, when I went to my RE, I questioned him about this, b/c it wasn't an option for me and I knew this. So, he told me the most embryos he'd transfer (we did IVF) would be 3. We were okay with that b/c there was only a 5% chance all 3 would take. Well, I'm pregnant with triplets and both my DH and I feel this was God's will and His gift to us.

So, I made the decision prior to having to really make the decision which might be easier than waiting till you are actually faced with the choice of selective reduction in the event you became pregnant with more than two.

However, it is still a very person decision DH and you have to make, but this is my story. If one or more of our embryos would have split (unlikely, but possible) who knows if we would have considered that.

Just remember, God never gives you more than you can handle and lots of women have had more than 3 babies successfully. I've actually seen this more since I've been a member of the Mom's of Multiples group.

I will pray that your decision comes to you.