I told my employer, because you cant really schedule your us/bw appointments, your body schedules them and I didnt want my employer to think I was being flaky or dishonest when I told them I needed my appointments to be rescheduled. My boss has been very supportive- she says family first (I feel like she hates to say it but has to). I imagine if your boss has children male or female, s/he would understand (I hope so!). I am also not very good at hiding emotions or deception, so calling up and saying I am sick one day when I know Im not, wasnt really an option for me. I just stopped by my supervisors office one day a month or two before we started and asked her for support. I dont know if it helps you mentally or not, but my RE says that stress does not interfere with the IVF process. He says strong embryos stick, period. So even if you choose to keep up your long hours, according to him (and the web says he's top in the US) it shouldnt affect getting pregnant.

Best of luck to you!

I would love to know how you end up handling this. I am anticipating being in sort of a similar situation--I was offered this great job which I will start on June 1st, but this is going to fall right in the middle of lots of testing/probably IUI. I don't really know how that will go over with a new employer, but I'm also not willing to put it off. It's frustrating when things don't go according to MY schedule, haha!

If you feel comfortable talking to your employer, I say go for it. When I was working during my first IVF cycle, I decided not to tell my boss. I worked for a small company and gossip would spread FAST and I could not trust him to keep my infertility issues to himself. I simply told him that I had an important medical issue going on and asked if he could accept that I would be late to work on certain days, would have to miss a trip he wanted me to go on and that I would have to take time off for it. He agreed to that, but he put all the dots together through some off comments he made to me, and I'm sure my co-workers did too. Oh well, I was happier not talking about it, tho, it wasn't any of their business even tho they wanted it to be! lol I'm pretty private about my infertility issues, but I know we're all different and have met people who are quite open.

I chose to tell my employer when I started testing and felt IUI or IVF would be coming soon (turns out I should be starting ym first IVF cycle in a few days). I was unsure how he would react as he is a) a male and b) unpredictable. Turns out that although he did not go through fertility treatment himself, he knew several people that did. He was surprisingly understandable and compassionate. I know feel that I can go to him to tell him I need to come in late, leave early, etc. without worrying about it.
While this may not work for everyone, I personally felt that being able to relax about my job and not feeling like they were going to think I was flaking out on my responsibilities would help me to be less stressed and hopefully more successful in my fertility treatment. Best of luck with whatever path you take!

I also chose to tell my boss and she agreed that I work a four day work-week with Fridays off. Less pay of course but worth bring the stress levels down. My Director is also a man who seems to be insensitive, he too supprted the matter and even took me for coffee to ask questions on the procedure.

If you can disclose it will make it lots easier and you will not stress about work too - you will have enough on your mind.

Good luck

I initially didn't say anything to my employer, but once I started regularly having to schedule doctor's appointments with very short notice and rearranging my schedule, I decided I needed to at least give my boss a heads up. She is older, not married with no kids, so she doesn't understand it very well, but she was supportive and asked questions about my progress, which made it feel less awkward for me to take a morning off with only 2 days notice.

I work at a College of Business at a university so I have a lot more time flexibility than most, and still I elected to tell my Dean in case I needed help covering classes (which I did for the Egg Retrieval). He is male too, and even though he was clueless I explained the process to him and provided me with a lot of job support.

Its very hard to schedule the appointments around an 8-6 job, so I think you should definitely talk to your boss.

I went to my boss as soon as I knew we were moving forward with IVF. She was VERY supportive. She even told me about how she had a miscarriage when she was younger and how devastating it was. It was such a relief to share this information with her. We had a good cry together. It was good to get it out in the open with her so that I could not worry when I had to schedule meetings a bit later, or delay the start of a class (I teach at a University).

I think if your job is stressful - this is a good time to be open with your boss. When we did IVF I took it very easy. I went on bed rest after the ET and I would do that again. Stress does affect your body - so if you're going through a very expensive procedure to get pregnant you might as well take every precaution possible. Good luck!

I agree although it was nerve racking when I had to tell my supervisor and boss I was glad I did. When I did IVF the first time I went right back to work and it didn't take. But when we did our FET I was not working and it took :) not sure how much that really matters but we are getting ready to do another FET and I am taking of at least a week after! Good Luck - hope it all goes well!!

I told my employer when I first started. She was very supportive...however I did find out that she used the same RE as me to get her twins so that might have had something to do with it.

I told my employer simply because I would be late a lot of days and absent a few days. I just explained that my hubby and I were trying to have a baby and I'll need some days off. However, when you do tell them, sometimes they ask for updates and you may feel like not talking. At any rate, I would tell so that your employer would know that your time off is for a serious time.

Thank you all for your help. I have an annual review coming up in a few weeks so I am hoping to bring it up at that time.

I tend to be very open and I am nervous about over sharing, but I am sure it will go well.

I told my employerin the beginning...DH and I have been TTC for 9 years. (With breaks in for financial and emotional reasons) I knew when I began here years ago that I may get to IUI or IVF. I was upfront about it. My boss doesn't like to know details of anything to do with anyone in the office but he tell me that he and his wife had trouble too. (That would have been around 30 years ago) He is sympathetic and does ask questions sometimes just to see how I'm doing. He is also really good about just letting me go or letting me schedule stuff at the last minute.

I'm lucky that I work in a small office and we are more like family. My best friend works with me and of course she knows all about everything, one of my co-workers has a daughter a few months older than me that struggled for years with IF. So, she understands totally.

I feel so blessed to work in a place that makes it easier on me to keep trying.

I understand. I had a brand new boss start at work at the same time I was starting fertility drugs and arranging for surgery so I just told him "I'm having some health issues and there maybe sometimes when I need to leave for an appointment with my doctor on short notice". He said "ok, I'm having some of those issues myself".

I felt like saying "I'm sure your not having these issues" but I just smiled and nodded.

I would see if your employer has medical leave that you can apply for. When I did my IVF, I applied for medical leave. That way, I could just take my appointments when I needed them and my job was still protected. In fact, my boss suggested it and it ended up being a good move for me.