Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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keepingthehope 05/18/2011

I need some advice.
I work in a pretty stressful job and I work quite a few hours (2,500 for the year - 2,080 is 40 hours a week). I generally work more hours than my contract states and I am salary so I do not get paid any more.

I will be doing IVF this next cycle and I am wondering if I should talk to my employer to tell them I will be working less to keep my stress levels lower.

Has anyone else talked to their employers about infertility and how it might effect them at work? How much did you share? How did you approach the conversation?

The top boss in my department is a male so I think that will make it more difficult.

I would really like to be open and honest and keep my employer informed, because right now they seem to be trying to keep staffing to a minimum and any work I can't do gets reassigned to a co-worker and I don't want to piss off my co-workers

deleted_user 05/22/2011

I, too told my boss and felt so much better afterwards. A lot of my stress during my IUI's was due to the fact that I was having to come up with reasons for being late, leaving early, etc. If I had to do i all over again, I would have told my boss right away. She was extremely supportive and said that she would love to hear when I have updates but won't question me otherwise.

deleted_user 05/22/2011

Yep. Tell someone at work....if it isn't your boss, at least a co-worker who can help cover for you. I'm a teacher, which means, I can't just 'leave early' or take time off the very next day without, getting permission, getting a sub, getting all materials and lesson plans ready for a sub....it is quite a process. I told my boss and a couple of other teachers. They have been able to support me, by taking my class if I was going to be a few minutes late or just running my copies for me if I needed to get a sub. People are surprisingly supportive of this issue. If they know. The only problem with it, is then they want to 'hear the news' after every try....it sucks having people that you have to let know when it didn't work.

deleted_user 05/23/2011

Fortunately my boss is a woman and we meet once a month to go over her observations of my work (I'm a teacher). She's been super supportive and is great for venting. Is there a female co-worker you can talk to first? Just so you can practice what you'll say.I've realized the more I talk about it the more comfortable I am with saying things and not freaking out. If you can't handle a face-to-face shoot him an email. Best of luck!

deleted_user 06/23/2011

I didn't say anything detailed to my employer. I said something along the lines of "I am having some female medical problems." My boss said --- "enough said...do whatever you need to do." It was perfect. Maybe you can try saying something along those lines if you feel uncomfortable talking about infertility.

deleted_user 06/24/2011

SO far I have not said a word. I just had my first round of IUI. I do though, have a very flexible workplace. Although they were trying to send me out of town for a week, I just told them I had some medical issues going on, and that I would not be able to travel at this time. The other reason I did not mention it, was my yearly review was up. He had mentioned he was putting me in for a promotion, and even though it's illegal, I KNOW he would not have done that if he knew. I do not plan on telling anyone at work until I absolutely have to.

deleted_user 06/24/2011

"I didn't say anything detailed to my employer. I said something along the lines of "I am having some female medical problems." My boss said --- "enough said...do whatever you need to do." It was perfect. Maybe you can try saying something along those lines if you feel uncomfortable talking about infertility."

This. Verbatim. He didn't want to know any more, once I said I was having female problems. I did eventually disclose what the problem was, but in the context of explaining that I wanted to look into adoption benefits because we were diagnosed with infertility. None of my time off, doc appointments, anything has been called into question. He had been making comments to me about not even thinking of getting pregnant when I'm so needed at my job, so him being supportive came as a huge surprise.

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