Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
I am wondering how many of you out there have step kids and how you deal with that. I love my step daughter but there are some days where it is the hardest thing in the world to have to care for her. My husband works weekends at times and those weekends when she is here and he isn't I can't help but feel slightly resentful. Her mother is awful to her and honestly views her as more of a pawn than anything and it is hard for me to understand how someone who clearly did not want a child got one and here I am nearly 4 years down the IF trail and still wishing for a child every day. I feel guilty for having these feelings about my step daughter but I just can't seem to stop myself. Does anyone else no what I am saying here?
deleted_user
I don't have any stepkids, but I do understand what you mean, because a really good gf of mine has a three-year-old that absolutely adores me...and it's hard...
deleted_user
I have 2 step kids and we have custody of them. I have worked really hard to have a good relationship with them and I am worried about resenting having to help raise them if I can't have my own children. Their mom isn't awful to them, but she left them and my husband because she didn't want to be a wife and mother anymore, basically. I also wrestle with the, "how is it possible that she could have 2 kids and I can't have one!?" feelings. It's not an easy situation. We also had a talk with them about my side effects and how I may overreact to some situations, so that they wouldn't blame themselves if I became a little unstable....which dhave been...lol.
deleted_user
I actually have 2 sd and some days are better than others. When I am really down it is definately harder on me. I have explained it to my husband that the one thing I want most in the world is a child and to be called mommy, but every weekend all I hear is daddy,daddy,daddy and the occasional ashley. It is hard and I feel like my husband is not as desprate to have children with me because is already a father of 2. He tells me he wants to have kids with me, but I can tell by his actions that he isn't as hurt going through this process. There are definately times where I wish he didn't have kids so that we would be on the same playing field on this. Don't get me wrong I love my 2 sd but I will never be able to have the same relationship with them as I will with my kids. with the sd I have taken on the responsibility of being more of a role model that they can look up to instead of a mom. and somedays I just want to be a mom :(
kristinjackson2
I feel the same way about my husband. I don't think this gets to him like it does to me. I know he cares and wants kids but it just isn't at the same level as it is for me. And, he says, "You are a mom, you are a mom to SD." To me that is a load of crap. I may be a role model and I may be an important person in her life but I am certainly not her mother nor will I ever be. No matter how bad of a mom her mother is she is still her mother and always will be. I agree that I just want to be a mom and it kills me that I'm not and seeing her makes it even more real that this other woman was able to give my husband something I can't.
deleted_user
@kristinjackson2-- I agree it is really hard to feel good knowing the the ex gave him kids and I am struggling. Especially when she uses the kids to get attention from him.
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