Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Here's a list I started of some annoying, useless infertility advice well-meaning people have ALL been giving to me. Feel free to add your own!:
1. Just relax and you'll get pregant
2. Go on a vacation, you'll come back pregant. that's what happened to my friend.
3. You're young, you have your whole life to get pregnant
4. You're probably thinking about it too much.
5. Just start the adoption process, then you'll get pregnant. that happened to my sister, friend, etc.
6. I could never adopt, i don't want to raise someone else's child
7. Did you try the missionary position? that's what worked for me.
8. Maybe you just weren't meant to have a baby of your own
9. This is all part of God's plan. Maybe this isn't what His plan is for you.
10. At least you and your husband can travel and go out whenever you want. Since we had kids, we are stuck at home. You're lucky!
11. Why don't you borrow my kid for a day, you'll change your mind. He's a real handful.
12. Maybe you should buy a baby from China
13. You're making too big of a deal out of this, you should let nature take it's course.
14. Have they found out what's wrong with you? It must be something, i get pregnant just looking at my partner.
15. Does your husband wear briefs? That's probably why you can' get pregant.
Two of the best ones (from my mother in law)
16. Courtney, lighten up. You're putting too much emphasis on this. You're just making a mountain out of a molehill. These IVF things are like playing god. it's not natural. If you're patient it will happen on its own.
Sure, two years is a long time, but this whole treatment stuff sounds like you are overeacting.
1. Just relax and you'll get pregant
2. Go on a vacation, you'll come back pregant. that's what happened to my friend.
3. You're young, you have your whole life to get pregnant
4. You're probably thinking about it too much.
5. Just start the adoption process, then you'll get pregnant. that happened to my sister, friend, etc.
6. I could never adopt, i don't want to raise someone else's child
7. Did you try the missionary position? that's what worked for me.
8. Maybe you just weren't meant to have a baby of your own
9. This is all part of God's plan. Maybe this isn't what His plan is for you.
10. At least you and your husband can travel and go out whenever you want. Since we had kids, we are stuck at home. You're lucky!
11. Why don't you borrow my kid for a day, you'll change your mind. He's a real handful.
12. Maybe you should buy a baby from China
13. You're making too big of a deal out of this, you should let nature take it's course.
14. Have they found out what's wrong with you? It must be something, i get pregnant just looking at my partner.
15. Does your husband wear briefs? That's probably why you can' get pregant.
Two of the best ones (from my mother in law)
16. Courtney, lighten up. You're putting too much emphasis on this. You're just making a mountain out of a molehill. These IVF things are like playing god. it's not natural. If you're patient it will happen on its own.
Sure, two years is a long time, but this whole treatment stuff sounds like you are overeacting.
"Your time will come."
I have also heard "Have a few drinks and get totally relaxed, that's how we got pregnant...."
I've heard the have a few drinks one too.
maybe that works for women without fertility problems, but for those of us who have them, alcohol is not recommended.
I can't help but chuckle at these since I, too, have heard some of these. Makes you just want to slap people that say these things. They have no idea how hurtful they are and how dismissive they sound. I have found that the only thing the really helps is for people to just listen (and omit the insenstive commentary). Although, at this point, I simply don't discuss my fertility issues with anyone but you ladies.
but a few of my friends and family members know what we're going through and make lots of annoying comments. i don't tell people at work, but i am subject on almost a weekly basis to comments from the people at my office like "why don't you have any kids?"
how polite and not at all instrusive, right? lol. it's such a personal thing. how do you ask someone you barely know a question like that??
"Go home, put on some soft music, light some candles and have a few glasses of wine and let nature take it's course!" Ok yeah .. if that REALLY worked I would have been pregnant YEARS ago!
now girls .. prepare yourself .. this one is awful and I wouldnt talk to this person for a while "Have you tried a turkey baster? Try that and I bet you'll get pregnant!" I just walked away, what could I have possibly said to that other than "EWWW!"
i've heard the soft music and wine one too. it's ridiculous advice!!
Most Annoying: Take a break, it will happen. Well, I breaked for a year b/c too much emotional and physical pain and no baby!!
And, don't let it get to you...sure...
Your mother-in-law sounds just as insensitive as mine. Why don't you give her some advice...it called shutty!!
I always hear : Oh your gonna forget all about it and then it will happen...uh yeah ok...my lifes dream im just gonna up and forget...right.
or it's not time yet... i hate that one. or yes you have your whole life..i don't wanna have a child when i am 80... that won't work.
Everyone around me is pregnant or just gave birth and they all have there own advice...which irks me like crazy...
I also see people that i haven't seen in a while and they are like how many kids do you have now, and im like none, then i get grilled about it...why? you dont want kids or something...and im just like uh... its not really your concern... UGHHHHH!!!
"Don't hurry and take your time, my children get on my nerves all the time, so enjoy your free time"
About mother-in-laws. . . I had received news from my RE that my husband and I would likely NOT conceive on our own, my mother-in law called to find out the news . . I told her the news holding back my tears - her next comment . . . "Are you going to come to my Arbonne Party this week?"
What also gets to me is when people complain about their kids behavior and then say something like "And why do you want kids?"
I wonder if the realized that the only reason they know the details is because I needed someone to listen to me, if they would still say those things. I like many of you do not talk about my problems to others anymore... they do not understand.
She actually had the nerve to call me last christmas season all upset because she didn't have any grandchildren to go shopping for at Toys R Us. She was like "Courtney, I have the sales circular, now you need to do your part and give me my grandchildren"
So I told her to buy a toy and donate it to Toys for Tots. It's soooo annoying. Like I'm not upset enough without her reminding me all the time?