I feel like this all the time too. I have two very close friends who just had babies - one yesterday and one a month back. It is so difficult to talk to them about it without crying. This is normal but I am trying to put aside my feelings and keep my friendships going. But it is so difficult to do this every single day.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how tough it can be watching my good friends have their babies and only talk about them around me without thinking that maybe it might be painful for me to hear. I have friends even say, "Wow, I can't believe how easy it was for me to get pregnant." REALLY? Their going to say that around ME?? People just don't think - even the ones that love you. I do want to hear about their babies and lives, but maybe with a little more sympathy to what I am going through. My BFF found out she is pregnant and she has been so great around me. She knows everything I've gone through and we talk openly about it.

Would you be comfortable having a conversation (non-confrontational) with your friend about how you are feeling and how she can help to get your relationship back on track?

Sometimes it is better to take a little time away from your friends with children. I have done it in the past, but got the break I needed and now it's not so bad for me.

I hope you can find some resolution.

I am so sorry for what you are going through! I agree with Cheryl, if you can talk to her about it, it might make you feel better. And like she said, non-confrontational just a "hey I understand you are having a hard time with the baby , sometimes it's hard to hear when I wish so badly I had the same problem." If she is your friend she will understand.

I have had to have similar conversations, and while they can be a little awkward at first, it may make your friend realize she was being insensitive.

Good luck to you :-)

I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way. Since February there have been 6 girls to give birth and another 2 found out they were pg. There are always talking about pg and babies and all I can think about is my latest IF treatment. Some of the girls are even afraid to tell me that they are pg because they know it will upset me. I don't want to be that way. I try very hard to be happy for them but it is difficult. Hold your head up high. Our 2ww is almost over!

I know exactly how you feel...I feel the same way. Its so tough when everyone around you seems to be a Mom and has all these new Mom friends and you feel left out. IF has taken a huge toll on a few of friendships. As you know, a lot of others just dont "get it" about how hurtful their words are and what we would give to trade places with them. Please know that you are not alone. I am always here if you want to talk. :)

I know how you feel its so hard to be "odd person out" I am always feeling out of place with my friends Im the only one that doesnt have kids so I cant relate to what some of my freinds are going through but some are very understanding and some are not Its hard to be around someone that has what we dream of right in front us Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon

I know how it feels. Maybe you might want to think of a little break from your new parenting friends or change the subject when they start talking too much about their baby. I know it is hard. I\'ve had to step away from friends/family who just are not understanding. They have been rude and extremely insensitive to me and my IF. I feel if they can\'t be here for me at one of my low points and don\'t even make an effort...they really aren\'t people who care about me.

I would like to say it gets easier, but most of my dear and close friends have children that are now turning 10. This is when the babyboom hit my friendships. We made it through, but it was VERY tough. The hardest part for me now is I am STILL trying to have a family and they are doing slumber parties and talking about what it will be like when their children graduate from highschool. I am so sorry that you are struggling with this. I agree with you, this is the part that sucks the most. My friends, my sisters, my cousins, they are always telling me that they wish that they could have the carefree life I have. REALLY????? Would you give up your children and live in a household that has NO PITTER PATTER OF LITTLE FEET?????? I didn\'t think so.
Hang in there girl. Your friendship can be saved. Try to be patient with her. She doesn\'t understand what you are going through because she has never walked in your shoes, but she loves you all the same.
HUGS!

I\'m so sorry. I\'ve now been on both sides of this and can understand both views. Before we did IVF and were struggling for years...all of my friends were saying, "oops, we got pregnant again!" (That still drives me nuts!) and complaining about the aches and pains of pregnancy and childrearing to me...I\'d always say "trade you!". It was a struggle to keep my friends after 3 PG losses and one friend in particular who announced her accidental pregnancy to me the day after I had a miscarriage...it\'s just awful. I felt stuck and left out of all the "mommy" talk. We worked through it day by day, but it was hard and I cried a lot. We were very honest about how we felt about things.

But then a year later our IVF (Oct. 07) worked and now I am on the other side of the fence with my IF friend who had struggled longer than we did. I think I was oversensitive about what she wanted to hear so I never complained to her and was very understanding when she wanted to avoid me because that\'s how I felt. Well, it turns out that hurt her feelings because she felt like I was avoiding her and letting her down during her hard times. Sigh...it\'s just so hard to maneuver relationships and these very complicated IF feelings.

I wish and hope for you to experience this from the other side! Hang in there.

It is so hard and I have been going through the same thing. My one cousin is on her 4th child and is mad because she keeps having boys. I would not care if it were boy or girl...either would be welcome! Some days it seems like everyone I know is either pg or giving birth. I don\'t have the strength to get excited anymore. Most days I feel alone and isolated, but please remember to hang in there! Eventually our time has to come. It has to be our turn. And believe me..I\'m sure we will be both screaming from the rooftops!

AMEN SISTER: I am so sorry that your friend has said these things and upset you. I don\'t think that people ever give any thought to how their comments could hurt their friends who are struggling with IF. I think that is her life right now, and she knows you love her baby so why wouldnt you want to know.
Even if you had your children years ago you would still feel left out because you had a picture in your mind of how things were going to be. The problem is... that it isn\'t just being left out, its wanting what she has and she complains like being a mom is a hassle. A hassle you would love to have and are giving up your live to accomplish. We have all tried very hard over the years to be strong and not let people know that they have hurt us, but we are hurt all the time. You lay in bed at night and think about what it would be like if you had a baby, and wonder if it will ever happen.
DONT LOOSE FAITH. You will never complain that your baby or babies are too much work, or a hassle. You will be the mom that is always smiling, and people will ask you Why are you always so happy? And you will say Because Im a mom, yeah and they didnt sleep at all last night.. hahaha
And here is a thought for you.. I have been ttc for 11 years I finally get pregnant and one of my best friends (who did IVF and super ovulation to get her 2 kids) said to me yesterday (as she cried) that she felt left out and she thought that I wouldnt want to talk as much now that I am pregnant. You may find when it is your turn that your friend is the one saying that she feels left out what a turn huh!!!

I know how you feel and what you are going through. Most of all my friends are either preggo or either already have had a couple of them since I have been trying. The thing that gets me the most is when people say, "Well don\'t worry about it your young, you have time it will happen, go enjoy yourself". But the thing that get the most is these people that Don\'t even want babies and then they get preggo and fuss about it the whole time or don\'t spend any time with them. I can\'t help but think God why couldn\'t that have been me i have been trying so long and they didn\'t even want any.... its hard just hang in there thats all we can do...

I know exactly how you feel:

I have one friend who never has the time to call me and when she does call me she always complains how hard it is to be a mom and how much time a child takes...Yeah I get that it is going to be a lot of work, but my DH and I are ready for a baby. I just feel that she never even takes the time to just call me. I call her all of the time and leave messages for her, she never calls me back, but instead she will drop me a one line email saying that she is too busy with her son to call me...it is just like a big slap in the face.

From another perspective...my sister in laws both have children and every time we are in a car going somewhere that is all they talk about is the kids, and I have nothing to contribute. Makes me feel pretty stupid. i have told my DH that and he just says to not let it bother me...in all honesty, I would rather ride in a car with a bunch of guys that talk about tractors or something like that, at least I feel I can contribute a little bit :)

I don\'t know what to do about my one friend though...she is such a good friend to me and i love her to death, but can\'t stand how our converstaions go when we talk.

I will just wait to see when she calls me next.

I just say keep your chin up and when it\'s your time then you can enjoy it too!

I am sorry you feel this way, but I totally understnad I feel the same way. I rather not talk to or see anybody that make s me feel that way and those people are my friends. I believe that if you are not going throought this or have been through this you can not understand and people do not think before they talk. Stay strong and do what is best for you.

Yes, yes, and yes. I wish there was some word of advice, but I have a friend who says some pretty insensitive things too. She has said to me many times how easy it was for her to get pregnant that all she has to do is think about it and it\'s done. I used to say to her, yea, me too, except no happy endings here. I have to honestly say, I have avoided talking to her about her remarks mostly because I\'ve just learned who my friends are who I can really discuss this stuff with. There aren\'t many anymore, who are able to take on the burden of being the friend of a woman in the midst of infertility! It\'s ALWAYS on the front of our minds and it never stops while your trying. That is just too much (I think) for the avg. friend out there because they just have no idea. Good luck hun, TONS of babydust your way!!