Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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lina2008 09/30/2008

As some of you are aware by my earlier post, I got a BFN this morning. I was really upset but I though, no this time Im going to pick my self up of the floor and get on with it, so I got ready and went to the gym with my mum. After chatting to her about my disappointment, my mother comes up with this lovely little nugget of wisdom. Well all you have to do is take your tablets and make sure that you have sex at the optimum time. What the fuck does she think I have been doing for the last two years! Playing scrabble!!!!, later, my sister who has two kids starts telling me how I shouldnt have the clomid tablets, that I should get a second opinion from the doctor which SHE has found for me as SHE is sure I have the same problem as her I felt like saying, what problem? stupidity maybe?! Cant you tell that you have TWO kids which she concieved naturally and I cant even get pregnant!? Im telling you girls, this is it for me, I give up, I cant do this any more. Putting up with comments such as these, the pressure of TTC, the tablets, the mechanical sex, the disappointments its all just too much. I cant even have a good cry because DH is home from teaching so I cant just let it all out. I feel sick. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I hate my self right now.

deleted_user 09/30/2008

Many times our families just don't get it. We have all heard numerous times that you are trying to hard, too much stress, you have so much going on in your life. Or how my mother in law says "Don't you think 20000 dollars is worth it to get pregnant". Yes I do think it is worth it but, my chances are 30% of success. Do they want to fork out 20000 dollars to help me get pregnant. People are very insensitive. Keep you head up...

C

deleted_user 09/30/2008

Please realize that your heart is absolutely raw right now, as it should be. I can tell you that I have had my fair share of people and family telling me those same callous comments after 5 years of struggling to have and then expand our family. My husband and I have NEVER had sex normally to try and conceive any of our pregnancies.

What I can tell you is this... there came a point when I decided to NEVER speak to my immediate family anymore about our IF struggles. I depended on a very small circle of friends and extended family for support. By extended family, I mean my mother's cousins (my mother is deceased), a cousin of my own who also struggled with IF (they are in Gambia/Africa right now picking up their son - YEAH!), and a few close friends.

Also, once I found this website, I completely depended on the girls here for support and realized that my immediate family was not equipped to handle our struggle and journey.

I encourage you to take some time to think about this. Once I came to the conclusion that I needed to develop an alternate support system, while it didn't make it "easier" it made it more bearable. That new support system helped us journey to have a son that just turned 3 this past Sunday and we are expecting another son on Dec. 10th via c-section.

Give yourself some time... and think about who can be of good support for you.

You can start with me... I will be there for you. What do you think?

deleted_user 09/30/2008

You are definately not alone with the insensitive fam.... my mom drug me to my cousin's child's bday party this weekend with all of my fam with kids and even pg ladies.... yeah just what i want to do spend the afternoon watching my whole fam with their kids when I am frustrated with not being able to get pg.... way to support mom!!

deleted_user 09/30/2008

2 years?...Tomorrow it will be 2 years for me. I've never felt so defeated and I imagine you feel it as well. I've heard the same good intention comments and suggestions from family and friends. It is human nature, I suppose, to help someone you care for out of the pain they are in. They have this innocent blindness that can be so irritating at times, but comforting at other times. Though you know they never mean any harm, you still can't help feeling bitter. This is when you feel most alone, being reminded of your unfortunate heartbreak. I know.

Sadly, I know how you feel. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. The heartbreak suffocates you at every turn. I've cried myself dry and still felt no relief. The pity stares are far more hurtful than anything. I've blamed myself, hated myself...I don't know who you are, but we share this common heartbreak.

It seems to me that a break would do you well. I am on one. The first three months were rough, but it is getting better. I still feel the disappointment when AF comes. I'm learning to accept what I can not control. I'm learning to laugh at myself. I know this sounds cheesy, but I am loving me again. LOL! No more hating me. I figured this journey is tough enough. Don't forget yourself in the process. Your heart will heal when you are ready to let it.

I hope you are feeling better. If you need to rant, vent, or simply talk, you have my ears.

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