It only went up by 2 points, and before I spoke to the doctor I had red blood this time. The first time since the spotting stuff yesterday. It's kind of gone now, and I don't have any cramps or pains really.

But the nurse basically thinks I'm miscarrying...my BETA should of doubled by yesterdays test, and it didn't!

I am still taking my progesterone...but am basically just waiting to bleed out and miscarry. The nurse said it will probably be just that, and nothing any different then a heavy period, because I'm so early in pregnancy!

BUT serioulsy girls...I don't know how I'm going to move on. This is my first pregnancy, and now my first miscarriage. I'm 35 years old, running out of money to keep moving forward with this infertility stuff...and completely devestated right now!

I don't know how God could do this to me...I prayed the other night before I flew here to AZ to be with my family and nephew for his graduation...I prayed that he'd give me someone to talk to and relax me on the plane ride since it makes me nervous, and to keep my baby safe and healthy. He answered my prayers in a girl named Heather that talked to me the whole way and I was so grateful to her, I kept telling her thank you for relaxing me! So I thought FOR SURE that he'd be with me and my baby NOW making sure we're both OK.

I can't handle anymore lose...I'm not sure how many of you know...but my Nana passed away last May (almost a year ago) and my Mom only a few months later in Sept. - I lost my Papa 7 years before and my father when I was a Sr. in High School...I feeling sad and lonely, I don't have family in California (yes I do have my man and his family) but I feel as if nothing is EVER going to happen for me...and wonder why God has taken so much from me so soon! I miss them all, and feel very cheated to not have them here with me holding me right now! I NEED them...and I needed this baby!

I'm sorry...I can't stop crying...I really should go now!

Thank you everyone for all your prayers and thoughts...I love you all!!!