Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi all. I am a 24 year old woman who married a wonderful, 25 year old man 2 years ago. We always knew we wanted a family and we wanted to start immediately so we could enjoy being young, active parents. We never thought in a million years that when we were ready, it wasn’t going to be that easy. Recently, it is has gotten more and more difficult for me to manage my feelings toward my infertility and the fertility of people around me. I feel guilty for complaining because my journey has not been as extensive as others. My husband and I are somewhat new to the infertility community. We’ve been TTC for 2 years with no luck. My husband has varicocele and had surgery in May 2017 to hopefully give us a chance of conceiving. We have not been through IUIs or IVF cycles. We have not miscarried or had ectopic pregnancies. We simply have never been able to conceive. I feel guilty for feeling hopeless and despair. I feel guilty for feeling like an empty shell of a woman and wife. I feel guilty for unfriending and unfollowing everyone in my life who is pregnant or just had a baby because I can’t stand to see it. It doesn’t get any easier to see your period arrive every month. It doesn’t get any easier to experience signs of early pregnancy and think “maybe this will be it” and then it’s not. I feel silly for ever believing that maybe this is the month, when I know it will probably never come. I am the oldest child from a family who never had any difficulties conceiving. I am the first friend of my group to get married and want to actively TTC. I have no support from family or friends that understand the pain and desire that comes with infertility. They think they help by saying there are other options, just relax, if it is meant to be... I don’t know how to keep going when the only thing I want in life, I can’t have.
My younger brother took my family to dinner a few weeks ago and announces him and his wife are pregnant and I started ugly crying in a packed restaurant.
My friend and coworker who sits in front of me is pregnant and she sits and nonstop chats with the other moms in here about baby clothes, toys, the room... I have to sit back here and listen all day to it. She even grabbed my hand to have me feel the baby kick yesterday and I almost bawled.
I turned 39 two days ago... We waited because my dad was very sick and needed a kidney donation... We kept waiting till his doctors said it was time, then I gave him one. I was then told I had to wait a year to get pregnant. Flash forward to now and I'm terrified I waited to long. I keep trying to dig myself out of a depression and its just not happening.
So many of us here can relate to your feelings. It's an isolating and lonely experience because as you said, no one understands unless they're going through it. And the "helpful advice" gets so old. When my last IVF was unsuccessful, I was told by a friend who is 8 months pregnant that, she was sorry it didn't work out but, "at least I didn't have to deal with extra hormones, weight gain and morning sickness."
I bit my tongue and realized that she was simply one more person with whom I didn't feel comfortable sharing my experience.
It's hard and we are all here to help you on this journey. Sometimes we just need to feel normal and know that we are not alone. And your feelings are genuine and real, no matter what stage you're at in this process.
I would encourage you to use this site as you need it. Hang in there!
be IVF but thinking about saving up for that is so stressful. Every month my period comes I’m so sad because like most of us we had a glimpse of hope that this would be the month. I guess Hope and faith is what keeps us strong through these difficult times. All I want is to have a child with my husband. Thinking about a sperm donor brings me to my knees in tears... ughh it’s just so hard. I am so glad I found this group! Everyone seems to be so supportive! Prayers and positive thoughts your way!
Don't lose hope, I have friends who conceived after 3 years. Eggs are only good for 24 hours and if your spouse goes on vacation that week, you are screwed for that month. You only have 12 chances per year and even then you only have a 20% chance of conceiving. You aren't a failure, this is just harder than what everyone told us!
I haven't been on FB in nearly 6 months because I just can't handle all of the posts, announcements, etc. It's just too hard! You are right that you just end up feeling angry or sad or just completely hopeless.
We had a chemical pregnancy about three weeks ago from our first IVF round. Terribly heart-wrenching and I am now feeling like myself again. We have an appt. on Monday to review next steps with our doc, tweaks in the protocol, etc. I have Ulcerative Colitis, and am a bit worried that my immune issues are a contributing factor along with the MFI. I guess we will find out! Either way, we have one embryo left that we will transfer, but we are already in the process of newborn adoption. In all honesty, we are more hopeful than ever, because no matter what happens, we know we will be parents - whatever parenthood looks like for us, we are so excited for!
I sincerely pray for success for you both!
Whenever I thought about it I felt a wave of nausea and cried. The thought of seeing a child that would be half my husband and half another woman made me feel physically ill. I took long time to get used to the situation we found ourselves in. Me - 41 yo young then, once I thought I couldn't treat myself like this any more. I didn't want ivf procedures to consume my life entirely. So I did changes. You did so right having found this support group. Ladies here are amazing, you won't feel alone with your problems. Soon I believe you'll find the options to make your way easier. My heart goes for you, hun. Have all the best of luck in the world!