Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I have a feeling that I am not the only incest survivor to have been told that our story was "unbelievable." Is the reason because of the difficulty it was for us to tell or write the story, with tears pouring down our faces?
How I want to bitch slap these people whose first reactions include expressions like, "I can't believe he/she did that" or "I can't believe you did or didn't (do this or that)" ... What's really unbelievable is that they would suggest a story is made up, just because THEY had not experienced some situations nor heard of other cases.
"I don't believe you" hurts like hell.
In *MY* situation, the whole "believe" trigger comes from my abuser's mouth... "Don't Tell," "Or Else," and "Nobody Will Believe You." In my situation those words were repeated for the years and years that my older brother was forcing himself on me. Who could I tell? What could I say? What was the "OR ELSE?" So, to hear "I don't believe you" now that I have the courage to speak always comes back to silence me again and again.
I felt that I was the only childhood abuse and/or incest survivor. How was I to know it is practically an epidemic? So here I sit hoping to find fellow survivors who DO believe me.
Thank you for sharing your stories ... I *DO* believe them!
How I want to bitch slap these people whose first reactions include expressions like, "I can't believe he/she did that" or "I can't believe you did or didn't (do this or that)" ... What's really unbelievable is that they would suggest a story is made up, just because THEY had not experienced some situations nor heard of other cases.
"I don't believe you" hurts like hell.
In *MY* situation, the whole "believe" trigger comes from my abuser's mouth... "Don't Tell," "Or Else," and "Nobody Will Believe You." In my situation those words were repeated for the years and years that my older brother was forcing himself on me. Who could I tell? What could I say? What was the "OR ELSE?" So, to hear "I don't believe you" now that I have the courage to speak always comes back to silence me again and again.
I felt that I was the only childhood abuse and/or incest survivor. How was I to know it is practically an epidemic? So here I sit hoping to find fellow survivors who DO believe me.
Thank you for sharing your stories ... I *DO* believe them!
-
Middy is off for a bit so if anyone needs a CL please just give me a shoutSending a big hug...xo
-
I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
I've thought about this subject a lot and I think society as a whole, we humans as a whole, suffer from denial. It leaves survivors in a terrible, isolated place. Thank God, we are the first generations in history to have this kind of forum to come to and gain support from each other's stories.
Thank you for telling the truth. Each one who does so makes it easier for the rest and the ones who come after.
I think People just don't want to accept these kinds of things happen.
But life is not all white picket fences and soccer games. There is a whole other reality out there for some of us.
I barely talk to people about what's happened to me because of the disbelief factor. I've even had people tell me they think I imagined it all, or took it from a movie.
^^^ why I am, in general, a misanthrope.
It amazes me when people jump to the conclusion that we're lying. But victim blaming helps them pretend that the world is safer than it really is.
Of course I believe you! And I bet a lot of people in denial believe you too, but are afraid to open up and be vulnerable. To me, anyone selfish enough to add more trauma to people who've been terribly hurt are despicable. The original abusers may have written the first chapter of your tragedy, but their supporters wrote chapter two.
How can you victimize someone so badly as a child and then minimize their pain and the experience from the victim side not theirs??!!!
I swear you wonder how many people must be in jail having acted at the rage the even denial of the same people who victimize you NOT allowing to even feel they pain they have caused their victim? and when you were a child at that!
But that story is never told. And most people side with the perpetrators or with the belief that once the abuse is over you somehow just should forget it and move on like it was no biggie.
It infuriates me to NO end.
I too am grateful for this forum and for the support and acceptance I can find here.
My worse one with not being believed was...
The local therapist... I was trying her out, she was much closer than the one I was going to..
When I told her that the kid who raped me was YOUNGER than me by a couple of years she says...
"Are you sure you're remembering it right??
I think you must be mistaken, cause that generally doesn't happen..."
I got up and left...
But I did give her a chance to explain herself..
She said " normally it's the older person abusing the younger, not what you said happened to you... " she said some other stuff, but I shut down after that bull$hit...
I left, and went to driving an hour to my old therapist..
Yeah, they have no Idea what the heck their talking about...
Notalone
Once I was told by my step mom who loves me to death, after she found out what happened when I was young when I had the courage to tell her, I said something along the lines that you have stated
Her words were, "I understand that you are a daily reminder of the crime they have committed and they hate you for it. That you feel that if you were to die, everyone would be better off. What you are basically saying is that you want them to win, that they can get away with it? If I were you, I would stick around so I will have to bury them, I would face them every day proud of myself, strong as all get out, and live so successfully that it kills them to see me living a happy life."
And that is exactly what I did, those who called me a liar and those who abused me lived a very miserable life and died rather painful deaths and me? I went to therapy and learned to live a productive and happy life, it was not easy but I am now 50 something and sturdy as a petrified tree.
Hugs,
Wolf
I've never told anyone about what happened to me, except here on this website where my identity is hopefully protected. Bringing it out in the open would just expose me to even more emotional abuse from my relatives. The sister who sexually abused me is in a nursing home and she's also been abandoned by everyone. I want nothing to do with my worthless relatives.