Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I had a very intense therapy session today and I'm still shaking inside. I asked my therapist last week if we could concentrate on my suicidal part. This was my sixth major suicide attempt and I'm afraid I won't survive another, since I came so very close to dyeing this time.
My first two suicide attempts were between 5 to 10 years old. My next two suicide attempts were between 10 to 13 years old and my fifth was at 16. This was my sixth.
Feeling helpless plays a major role in it. From ages 4 to 6, I couldn't walk. There were lots of doctor visits, both in Springfield and Boston Mass, then the hospital for six months then a wheelchair for nine months then crutches for nine months. After all that I really couldn't participate in any sports where I had to run.
I believe that's where my father became disgusted with me and started to criticize and belittle me all the time. It seems that he put me in situations where I couldn't help but be criticized because I physically couldn't do what was required of me. And he did this on purpose because he wanted to destroy any self esteem I had and he succeeded.
Previously I could talk about some of this and not feel anything, but today during therapy I really felt how horrible it really was. This was very deep and painful, but I know this needs to be confronted and I need to feel it to believe it's real. Today I felt it in my whole body and it left me shaking inside.
This will probably take me some time to process it, but I feel OK. It just feels real now.
My first two suicide attempts were between 5 to 10 years old. My next two suicide attempts were between 10 to 13 years old and my fifth was at 16. This was my sixth.
Feeling helpless plays a major role in it. From ages 4 to 6, I couldn't walk. There were lots of doctor visits, both in Springfield and Boston Mass, then the hospital for six months then a wheelchair for nine months then crutches for nine months. After all that I really couldn't participate in any sports where I had to run.
I believe that's where my father became disgusted with me and started to criticize and belittle me all the time. It seems that he put me in situations where I couldn't help but be criticized because I physically couldn't do what was required of me. And he did this on purpose because he wanted to destroy any self esteem I had and he succeeded.
Previously I could talk about some of this and not feel anything, but today during therapy I really felt how horrible it really was. This was very deep and painful, but I know this needs to be confronted and I need to feel it to believe it's real. Today I felt it in my whole body and it left me shaking inside.
This will probably take me some time to process it, but I feel OK. It just feels real now.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I'm now overwhelmed and depressed. How can I work on the abuse with my physical health going down the drain?
...I haven't been quite as ill...but I've found that if you weep in doctor's offices, nobody bugs you.
I'd take a notepad with you everywhere.
((((HUGS)))) I wish you were not so ill either.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKeW1ykZat4
http://www.meetup.com/Bodhi-Meditation-with-Nan-Join-with-an-open-heart/