Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
Alright well I'm new so sorry if I seem nervous. Okay so I know this is an incest group so common knowledge says these can be similar stories anyway, so when I was 8-9 my brother and I were in the basement messing around. So then he stopped and said "let's play a game. We'll both get pleasure from this." I nod and he pins me to the couch. He starts biting my neck and shoves it in my mouth. All this time our parents are both home upstairs. He then lifted my skirt and removed my panties. He put himself maybe 2/4th the way in when my mom walked down the stairs. He unpinned me and played with cars. And it was over. I went to my room confused and scared. I hurt down there and I didn't know why. So that's one of the stories. The next one was with my dad; ever since I was six he'd put his hard near/on my v. And one day we were in his truck on a way to a wedding and he put his finger inside me. I remember everything I did. I shut my eyes and let it happen. He put two fingers in and penatrated me like that. He then took his fingers out, kissed me and told me to suck his fingers which were in me. We we're behind a Walmart. My dad has done that on more than one occasion. Anyway the last story is with my ex bf. He knew what happened to me when I was little and then he mentioned one day that "he would love to fuck every bit of me" with or without my consent. He said "he'd put his dick in me if we were ever alone" and being the idiot I was we hung out alone. This was a few months ago. We were in a secluded area and I was wearing a dress (just got comfortable with how I looked) and he finger fucked me. I began crying but he covered my mouth and put his dick in me and that was when I moved and hurt him in the process. I don't talk to him anymore. But do I have PTSD? I show signs of it. And why did this happen? Was I vulnerable? I'm still confused. Like did I want it? I'm really struggling here. Anyway sorry it's long.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
What your brother and father did is so wrong and so messed up. It was definitely abuse - it could not be anything but abuse. And when your own family, who are supposed to love and protect you, use you for their pleasure and gratification without regard for how they are destroying you, it is very hard to recognize who is trustworthy and who is not trustworthy in the rest of your life. It sounds like your ex got off on what your family members did to you and wanted to re-enact it in some way. What he did was abuse. It's good you stopped seeing him.
It's natural to desire closeness and to have sexual feelings, but it becomes confusing when you are pushed past where you are ready to go. Any sexual activity that you do not consent to is abuse, no matter what went before. If you were crying and he covered your mouth and had sex with you anyway that is rape. I'm so sorry.
What your brother and father did to you is incredibly damaging. It is also criminal abuse. I don't know how old you are now or what your living situation is, but I hope you are away from them now. Therapy or counseling can help you to sort it out and start to heal from this.
Please feel free to come here as often as you like for support.By the way, there is a PTSD support group too which is a lot more active than this one.
Also, when you write about traumatic experiences it is good to put "TW" in the title. TW meand Trigger Warning (took me so long to figure that out!) and lets people who read your post know that there might be something in there that could trigger feelings from their own traumatic experiences.
I hope you find your peace and happiness. In the meantime I give you all the hugs and support that I can:)
hugs
Manda xx