Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
So last night I talked to my mom on the phone about many of the things we have been conflicted about for years. Of course in the midst of the conversation we talked about my brother abusing, molesting and raping my sister and I. My sister and I both have so many things we suffer from because of the abuse and my mom just minimizes everything! I brought up everything-insomnia, painful intercourse, hormonal abnormalities, increased risk for tearing in childbirth-which happened!, chronic constipation, frequent nightmares, anorexia, migraines, back pain, not to mention emotional problems. She had the gall to say "well we had you examined and your hymen was still intact so you were fine ( they did a pelvic exam on a 6 year old?!?! I have memories of this too...), it's probably all in your head and you just need counseling" I know that when you suffer abuse at a young age your entire body re-wires to cope. I tried to explain this to her and she just said it was all in my head. I just don't understand how she can defend her son, my dad or herself. It's so stupid! How should I handle this? She had the nerve to cut the convo off and say that she didn't want to talk to me anymore because I was "making them into monsters" and she "couldn't understand what I did to deserve this". I am so tired of all the crap. She is so manipulative and tries to control me with fear. She's even tried to tell me that if I don't have sex with my husband a certain number of times a week that he will leave me and we will get divorced. She even said shed be a "bad mom" to not say those things to me! Well too bad! I've got an awesome husband who loves me and cares about more than sex. We are madly in love and he understands me so much. It's too bad she has to live in that world...how do you all handle family members like this?
In fact, toxic is not enough.Perverted psychopath is the term my psychiatrist uses for thes people.
Do sorry you have had to deal with "family" like this ad well...it's so difficult...
@moonface: I really like what you have to say. You sound like you know my Mom! Haha-maybe you were a fly on the wall of my life!! It is so hard coming into the realization of the hold she has had on my life. It's truly like I was a puppet and she was the puppet master! Scary really cause is like was I even freaking living my life before these last few months??? I can see all the way back to when I was little and doing EVERY little thing to her approval-school, my looks, the way I talked, walked, who I was friends or not friends with. She really set me up in that "dissociated state" that you talk about! Moving away from them after I got married was truly the best thing I could have ever done. It's interesting because now looking back I can see why she was so upset that I moved away--not really because she loves me because if so she would have been happy for me. Instead she was dramatically doing everything she could to keep me there and saying things like "when you guys move back" or "we could help you out financially and y'all could live in the basement of our house( a one room Rec room)". She wanted me there do she could better control me...she knew if I was too far away I could potentially start thinking for myself, which is what happened. It's awful and disgusting really. She has so many people fooled and I likely look like the crazy bad guy in the situation. She acts all pitiful crying and acting all hurt because she knows my sensitive nature would typically respond to that and feel bad...well no longer!! I know for a fact thy she would try to put my daughter against me. That's actually what brought me around. My baby is only 13 months old and her and my father are already saying passive-aggressive comments about me and my parenting techniques to her in "baby voices". Already undermining me to her. Im so sorry to hear how well you know and understand this situation. It tells me how deeply you have been involved with and hurt by your toxic parents. so sorry and I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself-way to go! It's encouraging to hear about this process from other people :)