I'm new to the group.  Until four months ago, I would describe my relationship with my husband in every way as an 11 on a 1 to 10 scale.  We are both 50 and have been married for six years.  Our sex life was really fantastic until one day a few months ago when he suddenly couldn't get an erection. Since then, if he's been able to get one, he hasn't been able to maintain one.  I've asked him so many times what is going on but I get excuses like tired, work stress, "nothing," etc   This problem happened like a light switch being turned off so that's just not making sense to me.  He seems to lack empathy for the toll this is taking on me personally, not to mention our marriage.  Several weeks ago, he agreed to make a doctor's appointment - and is now saying is not going to.  He's "not ready in his head."   To make things work after the failed attempts, he rolls over and goes to sleep while I lie there alone, frustrated, and quite often crying.  He's highly defensive and if he says anything at all it's nasty and defensive, very "me, me, me" as if he's an island unto himself.  I've become highly depressed over the course of this and quite frankly, don't even want to try anymore to spare myself the hurt. What the hell is going on???