Well, I'm a firm believer that you don't have to experience something to have empathy. If that were the case, none of us could. I was nearly engaged to a man many years ago until I saw his true colors. In times of crisis, he was useless. I have a very supportive husband and while he can't feel what I feel, he gets that some things are out of our control. I'm sure you will find the right guy for you who will be more understanding.

Thanks kharden. It's been a tough road but I'm thankful I was older and already had children. Hoping things start looking up for you!

I had endometriosis for 20 years, the GYN that did the lap surgury said my uterous was completely covered. and gradually, it went fom hurting one week a month th two and thento three and finally all month. By the point agreed to do the surgury was on strong pain meds and sould still barely walk. As soon as I woke up from my surgury, I felt better.
So, in the first years of out marriage, when the endo was less, sex and orgasms were great. But we began to be able to do it less and less more and more until we didn't.any more. THat was when I decided to have a hyst. It's been a year and a halfand had my first orgasm last week. THe only thing different was the hot pad I was lying on, because my back was sore.

I am only 6 weeks out of surgery but my recovery has been harrowed by other issues/complications. (I have been blogging on here about it) I'm wondering what the typical time is for recovery before sex resumes? I'm certain I'm healed, however, I'm still leery due to my experience. Any input would help please.

mtraynor, usually 6 weeks if all is well. You need the all clear from your surgeon. Usually they do an internal exam to make sure all is healed. It also depends on the type of hyst you had. Don't rush it if you are uncertain and have had issues. Better to wait a couple extra weeks than to do yourself some harm. Good luck.

Wait at least until your doctor examines you and gives the OK. Unless you can look up there and determine all is sealed and healed. Are you a contortionist? lol

Most everyone is healed enough by 6 weeks but I always err on the side of caution, get examined first and wait one more week. JMO

I had my hyster at 24 and now 27. I had a very active sex live before it and now 3 years later I feel I have to push myself to want it most of the times. So theres days I get very upset, is there ways to up my sex drive?

I started having trouble with my monthlies when I was 14, by time I was 18, I hadmonth long pain, but the pain during the periods kept me either in bed with the hottest water bottle I could make or throwing up and continueing to throw up even when there was nothin left. Peeing was agony. My mom took me to the doctor and they said "take some IBProphen" HA! So I did. THe only way I could keep from throwing up was to start three days before my periiod, ever four hours and once my period had started it was 3 every 3 hour...I did this for a week and half every month
When I was 18, they decided to put me on BC pills. I took them at night because they made me horribly sick and I would fall down and not care to get up, but nothing could stop me from taking them because I knew what the other option was. After about three monthes they stopped making me sick.
When I was 24, I decided I wanted to have kids, so the dr's messed around doing tests for a few months and finally did the exploratoty laproscopy. The Dr said I was covered with adhesion,front back, and up both overies, but they did the die test and the die went though my ovarian tubes, so with treatment my odds where good that I could have kids.
I was on Lupron Depot for 6 months, and had hot flashes every five minutes.
But we were able to have a boy and a girl
I delayed on the hysterectomy until I couldn't walk, even though I was taking Lupron. The Post op pain was nothing to the prior pain!

Sex life isn't great, like it was when I was 20. I have super dryness that is only slightly helped with lubrication. I used to have multiple orgasms per encounter...so far this year I've had one. But that is huge improvement since it is the first one since I had the hyst 2 1/2 years ago. I too am waiting for the magic pill, but I can now walk, so I think I made the right choice.

Thanks for reading

kitycat - So sorry you had a hyst especially at such a young age! I was 49 and it's been a struggle! Do you still have your ovaries? If not, are you on HRT? Even women who still have their ovaries oftentimes lose their sex drive after hysterectomy. Some women say that vaginal estrogen helps with lubrication and even gives them some desire. Others say testosterone helps. It's pretty much trial and error as far as what works and doesn't work for each woman.

I hope you find something to help you!

Inkjoy - I'm sorry you had unbearable pain and suffering from what I assume was endo. I'm glad a hyst gave you relief! And I'm glad you had the opportunity to have children beforehand.

You didn't say if you still have your ovaries or are on HRT. But even if you have ovaries, vaginal dryness is common after a hyst. Also, in about 40% of cases, the ovaries fail after a hyst. Have you tried vaginal estrogen to help with lubrication and sensation?

HRT has helped me immensely with the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and energy. And when my estrogen is low, those problems come back and my knees start hurting.

A year ago, I had a hysterectomy to repair pelvic prolapse. I knew absolutely nothing about hysterectomy. All my doctor told me was "You're post-menopausal; you shouldn't have any after-effects whatsoever." Knowing I am married, she only asked me one question during at the pre-op apt. That was, "Is sex an important part of your life?" I responded "yes" and was shocked by her reply, "Ok, then I won't sew up your vagina." I kept my horror to myself as I thought, "What; sew up my vagina!" After tons of research aftermy operation, I learned that this is indeed done in special situations, mostly in very elderly women. Well, my doctor was wrong in telling me I should never experience not even one emotional or physical after-effect. She never even hinted that holding an orgasm would be a problem afterward & only encouraged me by saying, "You're through bearing children, & removing everything will free you from worrying about potential and future cancer. Led by her to believe my quality of life would not change in the least, I opted for the complete hysterectomy. A few months later, upon discovering I could no longer hold an orgasm for more than a second or two, I immediately went into a depression & no longer felt like a "real" woman. I also felt hollow & empty inside. I felt deceived and even inferior to my husband. To this day, I haven't dared shared my dilemma with my husband for several reasons. Even after a year & at age 63, I am struggling w/roller-coaster emotions of all sorts. I'm open to suggestions from anyone who has had an experience similar to mine. Sorry this got so long. I'm new to the site & am not yet quite sure if I'm using it properly.

lightoftheworld - I'm so sorry that you too were railroaded into a hysterectomy, the most unwarranted surgery after c-section. Everything you're feeling is actually quite common. I applaud you for having the courage to post your story for the many women who come here for "advice" pre-hysterectomy or a "reality check" post-hyst. These empty (hollow) feelings are common regardless of the age at the time of hysterectomy. I recall a 72 YO woman saying she felt "dead" after her hyst. And many women also report a loss of sexual function - libido, arousal, and response - although many keep up a good front. It's hard to admit (to ourselves and others) that we've lost our sexuality.

The only time the vagina isn't shortened and sutured shut is when the cervix is left in place. This is called a supracervical hysterectomy. But it doesn't seem to make much difference what type of hysterectomy is done as far as adverse effects.

I also had my organs unnecessarily removed by my gyn and two gyn residents for a benign ovarian cyst. All they should have removed was the cyst or the one ovary.

I sought out a therapist and a support group because my life changed so drastically and I was suicidally depressed. A decent level of estrogen brought me out of the deep depression and helped most of my other symptoms. It's been a long, hard road and I'm still not the happy, vibrant woman I was before this awful surgery.

I hope you can find the help you need. I know how alone I felt for so long!

Why do you assume that those who post positively are "putting on a good front"? Just because we differ from you and your experience, don't negate how we feel! I'm tired of making excuses for feeling fine after a hyst. I feel sad for those who have a bad time of it, but that doesn't mean that many of us can't feel good! LOTW, I am sorry that you were railroaded and that you feel awful.

hotmom - You don't need to lash out! I did NOT state that everyone "puts on a good front" and wasn't referring to anyone in particular. But I personally know women who did put up a good front only to discover later that it was just that (a front) and that their sex life has suffered horribly post-hysterectomy.

Sorry if you thought I was lashing out. I just felt as though my experiences are being negated by many on here. It's as though if you don't have a myriad of problems, your voice isn't heard or your opinions aren't valid. It's like I had a "hysterectomy lite". No, I had the full deal.