Someone who was calling me their best friend completely turned on me. She'd lost her close friends a few months back so I took her in and we quickly became very close. I poured my heart into that friendship. I cared so much about her and took so much time to help care for her emotional life. She was used to instability and was in an abusive relationship. So much of my time was spent caring for her and worrying about her rather than paying attention to my own downward spiral. I've had mental health issues since I was a child and she became a way for me to ignore my own problems. Right around this time, I started a relationship with my amazing boyfriend. We too quickly became close. What my "best friend" had purposely not mentioned was that they'd had history and were more than friends. This, of course, didn't come out until later. I'm a very forgiving person and let it go right away. But it kept going, she repeatedly ignored my happiness and pushed aside my feelings. She told my boyfriend that she loved him and then blocked my number saying that she couldn't handle my negativity. I've played it off like I just find it funny, but it all seriously affected me. It was months of drawn out emotional abuse and I took too long to stand up for myself. I have scars that aren't going to go away because of her. It's not her fault that I chose to put my hurt on my body, but it is her fault that I was hurting in the first place. Now every time I look in the mirror, I literally see the word "nothing" written on my skin. That's how she made me feel, like I was nothing, I meant nothing. With the help of my boyfriend, I was able to stop self-harming. But the memories won't go away. I still like nothing every time I see my stomach. I just wish she knew what she's done, how badly she's hurt me. But I don't think she'd be able to handle it if she knew. I'm still protecting her. I see her every day in class and everyday I'm reminded of the pain she caused me and the pain I caused myself. I don't know how to recover from this.