Heart Attack Support Group
Heart attack is a serious, sudden heart condition usually characterized by varying degrees of chest pain or discomfort, weakness, sweating, nausea, vomiting, and arrhythmias, sometimes causing loss of consciousness. It occurs when the blood supply to a part of the heart is interrupted, causing death and scarring of the local heart tissue.
Hi all,
I watched my mom die of heart disease (and others) at the early age of 60. She had her first MI at 47, and on her 4th one after that, she was gone at age 60. She didn't change much fo anything, but put herself through a lot of pain and agony, while the rest of us watched in pretty much the same emotional state. Pain and agony.
When I turned 40, I knew I had to make changes so I didn't have to travel the same path. I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I started eating healthy, I started losing weight, I started working out with a trainer. I started this path at 384 pounds.
After two years of working out with a trainer 5 days a week, and weighing in under 300 pounds, I went for a usual Monday morning workout with my trainer. The last 20 minutes of the one hour I felt really, really nauseous. I threw up after the workout. I thought it was becuase my trainer had whipped my ass. I went home, showered, changed clothes, and thought I had hurt a muscle in my chest/should/arm by over exerting. I had no clue I was having a heart attack. I tried calling my sister, the nurse....couldn't get her, called my trainer, told her what was going on....she said go to the doctor now.
I had my office manager drive me to the ER, heard the words MI within 3 minutes of being there, and knew what was happening. I had a classic widow maker. 100% blockage in the RCA and PDA. The cardiologist said the only reason I survived is because my heart was strong (from all the exercise) and getting there on time. I feel very lucky.
It has been a complete roller coaster ever since. I want to sell everything, run away, get a simple job, with a simple place to live, with a simple life.
I am a real estate broker.....I own a company that sells residential real estate. I've been doing this since 1992, and I have sold many, many, many houses. Lower stress and my profession do not go together.
I have had lots of trouble with depression, concentration....almost like I have ADD. I am watching my business suffer because of this, and feel like it is a sign to do something different, but what? Then, I think.....well, I don't want to risk being without health insurance.
I am exhausted.
I am wondering when this is going to get better.
On top of this, my immune system seems to be close to shot. I get sick at the drop of a hat......and I have never been good at being sick. I have been sick in bed for the last 3 days......and it is really hard to accept it.
I went back to work part time 2 days after the MI. My cardio okayed me for modified cardiac rehab 30 days after my MI (my trainer has previous experience in cardiac rehab and physical therapy). I have been working out, and increasing the intensity every 30 days. I am pretty close to where I was before all this happened.
I feel like I take a pill factory, still haven't figured out exactly what each one is, and how it affects me. I know that the prozac helps with the depression, clonopin helps with anxiety, hydrocodone helps with back pain, plavix and asprin thin the blood, Niaspan makes me flush and sweat at night....the other stuff.....I don't know what it does. I just know that I take a lot of pills.
Anyway, I am glad to have found you all, and look forward to valuable interactions. I really need people that completely understand where I am coming from......I think that is what is going to help me get on the other side of this crazy thing.
I watched my mom die of heart disease (and others) at the early age of 60. She had her first MI at 47, and on her 4th one after that, she was gone at age 60. She didn't change much fo anything, but put herself through a lot of pain and agony, while the rest of us watched in pretty much the same emotional state. Pain and agony.
When I turned 40, I knew I had to make changes so I didn't have to travel the same path. I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I started eating healthy, I started losing weight, I started working out with a trainer. I started this path at 384 pounds.
After two years of working out with a trainer 5 days a week, and weighing in under 300 pounds, I went for a usual Monday morning workout with my trainer. The last 20 minutes of the one hour I felt really, really nauseous. I threw up after the workout. I thought it was becuase my trainer had whipped my ass. I went home, showered, changed clothes, and thought I had hurt a muscle in my chest/should/arm by over exerting. I had no clue I was having a heart attack. I tried calling my sister, the nurse....couldn't get her, called my trainer, told her what was going on....she said go to the doctor now.
I had my office manager drive me to the ER, heard the words MI within 3 minutes of being there, and knew what was happening. I had a classic widow maker. 100% blockage in the RCA and PDA. The cardiologist said the only reason I survived is because my heart was strong (from all the exercise) and getting there on time. I feel very lucky.
It has been a complete roller coaster ever since. I want to sell everything, run away, get a simple job, with a simple place to live, with a simple life.
I am a real estate broker.....I own a company that sells residential real estate. I've been doing this since 1992, and I have sold many, many, many houses. Lower stress and my profession do not go together.
I have had lots of trouble with depression, concentration....almost like I have ADD. I am watching my business suffer because of this, and feel like it is a sign to do something different, but what? Then, I think.....well, I don't want to risk being without health insurance.
I am exhausted.
I am wondering when this is going to get better.
On top of this, my immune system seems to be close to shot. I get sick at the drop of a hat......and I have never been good at being sick. I have been sick in bed for the last 3 days......and it is really hard to accept it.
I went back to work part time 2 days after the MI. My cardio okayed me for modified cardiac rehab 30 days after my MI (my trainer has previous experience in cardiac rehab and physical therapy). I have been working out, and increasing the intensity every 30 days. I am pretty close to where I was before all this happened.
I feel like I take a pill factory, still haven't figured out exactly what each one is, and how it affects me. I know that the prozac helps with the depression, clonopin helps with anxiety, hydrocodone helps with back pain, plavix and asprin thin the blood, Niaspan makes me flush and sweat at night....the other stuff.....I don't know what it does. I just know that I take a lot of pills.
Anyway, I am glad to have found you all, and look forward to valuable interactions. I really need people that completely understand where I am coming from......I think that is what is going to help me get on the other side of this crazy thing.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Yes, there is a significant other here. Tom and I have been together 8 years, and always maintained separate residences.....however, since the day of the heart attack, he has basically moved into my house, and to date, has not left me alone......either he, a relative or an employee of mine is with me at all times.
Do I need the stress job? That is a good question. It is what I have done for the past 18 years, I have built it from the ground up, I am good at it, I would feel bad for the employees if I shut it down. However, there have been a whole lot of days since the MI that I have considered selling everything, and doing something different.....what that is....I don't know yet. I have made a start by putting all of my rental properties up for sale. I have sold all but 4 of them. I know I am definately done being a landlord.
I am just lost right now. For someone what has always had a game plan.....I am at one of those points in life where I know it is time to make a change....with my work life. But not a clue which direction to go with this. The change is already in process with my health life, personal life, emotional life.
Hello from Tennessee and welcome to DS! I am soooo sorry for the reason you are here, but you've found a great place with some of the best people on earth.
I had an MI while I was exercising like you. I was a avid aerobics-doing, healthy eating, non-smoking person who everyone said was so healthy. During Sunday a.m. aerobics before church I felt a twinge, got really nauseated, and immediately knew I was having a heart attack. Had the widow maker with 100% blockage in my LAD. Now I have 2 stents.
It sounds like you are on your way to recovery, with strong support from your siblings and Tom, and taking good care of yourself with your diet and exercise. I can't believe you went back to work part time after 2 days! It took me 9 weeks to go back to work and then it was part time. When did you have your MI?
The feelings you describe are normal but I'll bet nobody told you about them when you left the hospital. The emotional roller coaster you describe is one that the medical profession seldom addresses, so sometimes you are blindsided by it.
Your desire to simplify you life is very compelling, and it would definitely help with stress. As far as stress is concerned, it's not good for you, but you already know that. No one can give you the answers to that, but I like what dinz said: do you need a stressful job? Maybe you can find ways to delegate some of the more stressful parts of your job to someone else, or find other ways to lower your stress.
Keep posting here, you'll get lots of advice, suggestions, and support. Please let us know how you're doing.
Hugs and prayers,
Pam
Welcome to the cardiac club! Everyones story is a little bit different and a whole lot the same, especially what we go through afterwards. The doctors think their job is done when theres no more static in your EKG, but thats when the real personal struggle begins. With every new person who joins this group, I realize more fully that Im not the only person whos going through this. That has helped me a great deal, so Im glad youre here.
I went back to work after a couple of weeks, but I doubt they got their moneys worth out of me for months. When youve been through a truly life-or-death situation, its hard to think about anything else. There is a lot to think about, and it takes a long time to process it all. This would be true even if you had your old level of energy, which nobody does.
When is it going to get better? Well, you can give up the hope that youll wake up some morning next week feeling like your old self and that it was all just a bad dream. Its not like getting over the flu. What will happen is that you will make progress inch by inch, millimeter by millimeter even, but eventually youll look back and realize how far youve come. Metaphorically, we feel like weve fallen into a deep hole and expect that, once we climb out of it, well be back to normal. Ive realized that its more like a long, dark tunnel. When I came out the other side, I was on the other side of a mountain and the scenery was different.
I too felt like a cash cow for the pharma companies. Im glad to hear youre getting some antidepressants. We had a long-running thread about depression awhile ago. It became clear that: 1) depression follows a heart attack like fleas follow a dog; and 2) the standard of care for this is all over the board. Ive wondered if some of the heart meds, beta blockers in particular, arent part of the cause of the mental state. Weve also had some discussions here about whether the side effects of our medication loads are worse than the conditions they are prescribed for. Some of us just accept our doctors advice as to what meds we should take, while others believe in participating in the decisonmaking process. Its probably a little early for you to be making any changes.
I look forward to hearing more from you.
you have come to the right place for help and you will get it here.i had mine nov 6 09 died twice shocked about 5 or 6 times.what you are going through is mormal.i felt the same way just wanted to run away but i found this site and a very dear freind once told me GIVE YOUR SELF TIME TO HEAL.and since then i never looked back. i eat right exercise and read about meditation it helps lower stress. keep doing what your doing and welcome to the cardio club their are good people here. might want to look into our conference calls its on every saturday at noon chicago time hope you can make one. you and your family are in my prayers
john
Like you, one of my risks was genetic- my Dad had a heart attack at age 32, and like your Mom he did little to take care of himself after that.- smoked, overweight, alcoholic, until he died of congestive heart faiilure at age 56. Given that I was a slim nonsmoker, with low bp and good cholesterol, I thought I'd be safe until at least menopause. No such luck- I was negatively surprised this past November with an MI due to 100% blockage of my LAD causing me to have to be shocked back to life with an AED two times that night. I've found it hard to go from seeing myself as a completely healthy person to a person with heart disease and various related meds & lifestyle restrictions. Of course I'm grateful that I survived, but I would have rather skipped the whole thing.
Like you, I'm a bit of a Type A sort. I'm pretty sure that job-related stress was my second most significant precipitant of my MI, after the family history. I'm a high level mental health professional in a women's prison, specializing in treating the mentally ill prisoners (what are mentally ill women doing in prison, you may ask- good question?). Anyway, I have a fair bit of supervisory responsibilities, and it that part of the job, not the inmates, that is the source of heavy stress and tension. I LOVE my job, and want to stay there until I retire, but I'm pretty sure that it almost killed me. I've had to do various things to deal with and reduce the stress. If you don't leave your current job, or until you do, maybe this will give you some ideas-
1- I leave work on time now. I used to stay past my quitting time- for free- because I felt so responsible for holding down the fort. Now I leave at a good early time, and the fort is still standing.
2- I take yoga classes to help me destress.
3- I delegate a bit more, I say no to more requests, I don't work from home too much any more (just for rare exceptions).
4- I'm more likely to take an actual lunch break, rather than eating during a meeting or while responding to e-mail.
5- I see a psychologist who specializes in helping cardiac patients, and who helps me set boundaries at home & work.
6- I try to keep some detachment about the bs that occurs in the workplace, and not take it to heart (good phrase, huh?) to the same extent as before.
Texas John, it's great to have you here with us. DS has become a very important part of my recovery. I love the people here and have found the support to be extraordinary. I hope ithat we can be that for you, too. Sue
I failed to mention that when I had the MI, they put in two stents in the RCA and PDA. I have minor damage in the lower right of my heart muscle. At my 3 month check with the cardio, they showed no change in the damage.
So, I see another post about med list. I think I will post my complete med list later. This weekend I have been reading up on all my meds, trying to figure out what does what, etc.
Other parts I left out about the job.....when I said I went back to work part time 2 days after the MI......that meant most days that I went to one of my offices, I snuck in the back door in tshirt, sweat pants and slippers...door shut. I also closed down one of my smaller offices, and moved 3 of my assistants to my house. I had two rooms upstairs that were virtually unused, so I had a business phone system installed, 3 cubicles put in one room, and a file/copy/fax in the other. Open for business at the house. So, I work from home much more these days......in a tshirt, shorts and slippers.
Today was one of those days where I had some things to get done. I got up early, took the dogs out, decided I still felt like crap, and went back to bed.....and stayed there until 2:00 pm.
I will start attending the conference calls next week. I think those would be good for me.
It was a hot one here in Texas today....pushing 100. I took my dogs for a walk around the neighborhood around midnight, after it had cooled off.......and was just waking with the dogs, thinking, crying. Also thinking, what the hell am I doing in this big house.
I came to the conclusion that I don't have to make any earth shattering decisions today. Nothing big, nothing major.....I don't need to sell my company, I don't need to shut the doors on it, I don't need to start looking for a new job. What I can do is make small decisions, each day.
So this is what I decided......I am going to start doing small things each day, and see where this path/journey takes me. These small things are going to be positive, and are supposed to make day to day life easier.
So tomorrow, I am going to gather up all of the DVD movies, video games, and stuff like that.....stuff I have around the house, but haven't used, watched or played in years. I have an assitant that loves to eBay.....so, she will be putting it all up for sale on Monday.
Monday, I am going to go through my closet and pull out all the old shirts, pants, belts, shoes, etc.........if I haven't worn it in two years......good bye. The salvation army truck can come get it.
I am going to do things like this each day. If new doors are going to open for me to try different things, which may or may not mean selling this house, relocating, etc......then I will be ready. If I am not going anywhere, at least I will have a really clean house.
When I finish with the house, I am going to do the same with my business, etc. It is time for a big overhaul with the goal of simplification.......and it doesn't have to happen in one week.......just one task each day, one day at a time.
I also don't know what is going to happen with my partner's living situation. We go every Saturday to his house to check on things, pick up mail, etc. Every week, he brings something more back with him. It is not going to be long before he has to make the decision if we are going to lease or sell his place......because it appears that he is moving in with me.
My dogs are wonderful. I have two elderly cocker spaniels - Zoe, black, almost 16 years old and Betsy, buff, 15 years old. They are on their last legs, but still pretty spry for their ages. We got a new puppy, a soft coated wheaten terrier, at the beginning of April.
I am grateful for this place and each and every one of you.
More later......
Texas John
My MI date is January 25, 2010. I have heard that most heart attacks offur on a Monday between the house of 02:00 am and 10:00 am. That makes me typical for a text book Widow Maker.
Hugs and prayers,
Pam
Yes, it is normal after a heart attack to feel all of the emotions you're experiencing, not to mention worthless, blindsided and totally overwhelmed. As far as I can tell, everyone goes through it. I don't understand why they don't warn you about it on your way out of the hospital. I think everyone in this group has either been through the emotions you're going through or is very close to someone who has, so you don't have to worry that we're going to tell you not to feel what you feel. I hope you'll continue to participate in this group. I think you'll find it helps to know that you're not alone in what you're going through.